The death of a love is such a terrible feeling that lives we us forever. One that cannot be forgotten no matter how hard we try. I understood exactly how you felt when you heard the news of your brother death. Happened to be in a similar situation about a decade ago but in my case it was the death of my Father. I still remember that day so vividly. Infact I remember the run through that was and week following which was the week of wailing and all.
It initially felt like a dream dream has my mother called that our father stopped breathing after an illness. I initially thought it was just her overacting has she is usually fond of that. I wished and hoped that Thursday night that it was all a joke until the next when reality shook me till my marrow. Woke up that Friday morning with our House filled up to the brim with people I know and I don't know wailing and all. Immediately I knew it had actually happened. I was an unforgettable moment that I wished never happened at that time because I was still in high school.
After that day I always wished that maybe a miracle will happen till I finally witnessed the burial ceremony weeks later. This memories never leave. We all just got to live life the way it is has bad and terrible happen that we never envisage. The only hope is that when we bow out from earth we get to reunite with our loved ones. What a moment it would be. Till then the only to do is to grow in love, create/cherish every moment with family and the people has we don't know when all will be over. The good memories is what will keep us going
I also lost my father 2 decades ago, having been ill for more than 5 years of his life, Around December of that year my father's sister came around to take him to her place to stay with him for awhile, i was elated and sad at the same time he was dressed in the same outfit as i was, as i watched Mama Franka drive the car out of our compound, tears rolled done my eyes then i heard a voice "that could be the last bye", i prayed over it not knowing of a truth it was the last bye.
On that fateful day there was so much celebration in my house, lots of cooking and music not knowing that my father died last night. I left the house to visit cousins you can imagine the pitiful looks on their face but i never thought or imagined the worst have happened until in the evening when i received the most shocking news of my life, my first love, Nnam, Ogbuefi Nwachinemelu has slept in the Lord.
I was shattered by the news but still could not believe it actually happened or would i rather say reality has not set in. Until the day of his burial, watching his lifeless body lie in that coffin reality dawned on me that he is gone forever. I cried and prayed for a miracle to happen as i watched his body being lowered down to the mother earth, i was left hopeless.
Death is really inescapable, the vacuum that loosing a loved one create cannot be filled. The lost of a loved one is a special pain or the greatest pain because it is a grief that nothing could have prepared you for, it changes you and the way you see things around you.
I know that time heals all wounds but i will never stop missing my father and this grief is never coming to an end soon.
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