It took some time to come up with an answer to your response. My best response is that my experiences have helped me to a degree. On the occupation side, I've never been without work and I've always been promoted. I've also never had an issue finding a job. I can support my family and give them some comforts I've never had.
On the social side, my experiences have robbed me of emotions I no longer possess. Sometimes I'm on a low so low I must pretend. It is the way of things, I gather. When people cry and seek consolation, I do all the things I'm supposed to do, but only because that's what expected and because I feel they need it. It isn't because I feel anything from their need for consolation.
My wife was my salvation. She brought me back to a degree, but she was also broken. It was best for me to be a rock for her comfort and an emotional person that could empathize. I'm not sad about it because, well, she's my wife.
It's the essence of our lives that ultimately shapes our hearts, not just our cognitive behavior. What we feel or how or what we don't feel at all, they all happen because we had to let ourselves be put in situations that broke...our ego, some of our sensitive parts, our innocence sometimes, maybe even our power for genuine compassion.
I'd ask, without wanting to be intrusive in any manner possible....Where is your home? Where do you find comfort within yourself (not the real home you might have with your wife, I mean)?
Where is your SELF placed?
I am here.
My home is my family, where ever we reside. My SELF is placed in no particular area. At some point in my youth, I left home. I didn't settle in any place for almost 13 years. I spent my time going from job to job until just before I got married. It's during that new era of my life that I began to grow roots.
Thank you so much for your answer. I am glad you have your loved ones with you. I am still a life wanderess...
I hear you. I would still be a nomad if not for them. I was planning on leaving the country if I didn't get married. The world is quite a big place.
I'm so glad you found your comfort with them. I hope that one day I will find mine.
Hugs, dear friend!
My philosophy is that it will happen if it is supposed to occur. I will tell you this: I made a call, and my life changed irrevocably.
My travels have sent me from outside the USA and then between Maine and Florida and some southern states like South Carolina, Tennessee, and Mississippi.
I ended up in California after picking up a job here. The place was beautiful with, apparently, no winter. I recalled some brutal winters I spent working outside. I felt it was quite amazing to be in such a location. One evening, I remembered a friend of mine. We had spent countless hours with each other. I gave her a call and invited her over to see how excellent this place was. The rest is history.
She's given me endless indigestion, headaches, two beautiful sons, and a life of love and passion I wouldn't trade for the world.
Sometimes, it happens with a simple gesture. The trick is that sometimes you must initiate it.
I must initiate change in the main aspects of my life. Yes, and then it will occur.
Have a wonderful Sunday all of you!