Friday morning my family lost my Aunt Christine (dad’s youngest sister and my godmother) to glioblastoma, an aggressive and incurable brain cancer. Her death came just 14 months after her diagnosis.
Friday was also my aunt and uncle’s 50th wedding anniversary.😢
Upon her initial diagnosis, my aunt underwent brain surgery to remove her tumor. This was followed by courses of radiation and chemo. I gifted my aunt a silver token for Christmas. One side of the token said “pocket hug”. Every chemo treatment, she would send me a photo of herself holding the pocket hug.
Over the course of her illness, my aunt mostly lost her ability to speak and to read. She could still answer yes and no questions, but only with a nod. A couple of months ago, her medical team determined continued treatment would do more harm than good, and would no longer add longevity to her life.
We managed to get the siblings (my dad top right) all together one last time. They all came to see my mom when we found out her cancer was back.
About two weeks or so ago, Aunt Christine really started to deteriorate. After an incident at home, Aunt Christine was admitted to the hospital. My cousin Mike flew in from Florida, and got here to Seattle last week. One of the last times my aunt smiled was when she saw Mike walk into her hospital room.
On May 22nd my cousin Mike found an assisted living/nursing home facility willing to admit my aunt. It was only a few blocks from her home, and nurses there were qualified to administer her medications. She was transferred from the hospital to the facility on May 23rd. Upon her arrival, Aunt Christine was enrolled into hospice.
The hospice team conducted an assessment that afternoon. They determined my aunt only had 24-72 hours left until her passing. At this point she was already unconscious and no longer responding to squeezes of her hand. My cousin Mike let us know the news via a cousin text chain.
I texted my husband. He immediately came home. I tried to convince my dad to see my aunt that night. I said I would come watch mom (she is bedridden and also dying of cancer) so dad could be by my aunt’s side. Dad said he had too much to do that night, but we made plans for him to see my aunt the next morning.
Since I didn’t need to watch my mom, I made the 45 minute drive to the nursing home. I arrived around 7pm. My Aunt Christine of course was there as were her husband, her two sons, my other aunt, and my cousin Nicole. I stayed for 2 hours. It was nice to have that time to talk with my extended family and to hold my aunt’s hand. At 9pm I headed home, giving my Aunt Christine one last hug, kiss and “I love you” before leaving.
The next morning cousin Mike sent me a text at 7:22am. “If your dad can get here earlier, that would be better.* I immediately called my dad to tell him I was on my way, and that he needed to be ready to go. I left the house without showering or breakfast.
I walked in the door of my parent’s house at 8am. My dad was on the phone. His sister Susie was just telling him the news that my Aunt Christine had passed. She died while I was driving down. I am so sad my dad didn’t get to the nursing home to say goodbye.
The last few days have been weird. Lots of feelings. Sadness over my aunt. Anxiety that I know my mom’a time is coming. Comfort in seeing the signs of death in my aunt mirrored what happened to my grandma… which means maybe I know what to expect with my mom. Joy in spending time with my cousins. Longing for the good old days, when my family were all healthy and my grandparents were all alive.
My Aunt Christine was filled with joy, youthful, kind, and incredibly intelligent. She graduated summa cum laude from university and was an avid reader throughout her lifetime. Her HUGE smile lit up her face, and her eyes always sparkled with cheer. She loved movies, wordle, board games, chocolate cake and baseball, but more than that, she loved us all so much. Aunt Christine especially loved her grandbabies… the human ones and the four legged ones. At only 71 years old… she deserved so much more time.
I am grateful to have had such a kind and loving aunt. Growing up she only lived a couple blocks away, so I am grateful to have shared so much quality time. I am so glad she was able to hang on long enough to see my cousin Mike come home. I am thankful Aunt Christine was able to leave the hospital and pass away peacefully surrounded by the people who loved her most. I feel like she held on until the 24th just so she and my uncle could reach their 50th anniversary. It means so much for them to have that milestone.
I found this quote online about death.
Oh, @dfinney! I am terribly sorry...
I will be praying for you during this difficult time... Another loss!
Nothing I can say will take away the pain you’re experiencing. I just want you to know that I care about you, and I share in your sadness.
Take care, @dfinney.
I'm so sorry for your loss. 💔 I hope you and your family can find peace and solace in one another, and eventually only have happy memories of her love & kindness remain.
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Thank you so much. Her funeral/celebration of life was yesterday. Lots of love in the room. It’s a shame we don’t celebrate people like that when we are alive.
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And so soon after your dear Grandmother.
I'm left speechless in trying to grasp the depth of your sorrow with your Aunt Christine's passing. We knew her time is short and as much as we can prepare for our loved one's departure, and brace our souls against the crashing waves of tears, the burden of our loss is just as painful in our hearts.
Your past memories of your Aunt flicker the embers of joy not lost but I'm sure you treasured in your family's hearts to revisit over again.
My deepest sorrow and condolences @dfinney
So sad to hear this. Your dear family can't catch a break. 😢
Sending thoughts & prayers for comfort, peace, and strength as you work through this. 💜
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss Danielle. My condolences to you and your family
Even as of a month ago Aunt Christine had such a beautiful healthy smile , hard to believe that her condition deteriorated so rapidly. I hope you and your dad is coping well, or as well as one can understand the current circumstances and spend as much time as you can with your mum so she knows she is surrounded by her loved ones.
Take care
I'm so sorry for your loss, especially after the passing of your grandma. I'll be praying for you and all of your family, for comfort, and also joy to come and ease the pain and heal the hurt.
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Dear @dfinney so sorry for your loss, with the background that your mom is fighting for life too, a hard task!
I had tears in my eyes, that she reached that special date, the May 24 ❤️ but the more I love to see how your wonderful family stands together. Dealing with cancer myself for a while makes me understand how importend it is to have the ones you love at your side. And even in the last photo you took, one can see her love and smile.
All the best for your mom and please dont forget to take deep care for yourself in these times you have to face.
Rest In Peace 🙏 Aunt Christine 🙏
Thank you so much for these words of encouragement. You stopped by this post and the one about my grandma passing and your comments really touched my hear both times. ❤️
Thank you ❤️ yes the comunity was built to share stories and with this maybe release a little bit of grief, or to get another view by writing about. But also to get suport, love and compassion ❤️
Because and I truely ment this: its very important to care and support yourself 🙏❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss, what an emotional roller coaster this must be for you and the family :(
How sad that your father didn't make it in time, how is he handling that?
Your family pictures make me smile every time, even though the reason for the post is beyond sad for you, the love is so clear from reading and seeing the pictures.
Take good care of yourself too dear !LUV !LADY
Thank you for stopping by and for your kind words here and on all of my other “my family is all dying and I am sad” posts. ❤️❤️
I appreciate it and you so much.
I am no sure how my dad is doing. He is very stoic and holds his emotions in most of the time. I see little cracks here and there, but then he stiffens up and pushes them back in.
I think I am really sad about him not getting there. It is a combo of a lot of missed opportunities over the last 4 years. My family really took to heart the isolate during Covid stuff. I work in healthcare, so my friends and co-workers were social distancing, my mom was so sick and ny dad didn’t want to exacerbate that, so he was staying away from everyone. And I know why we all did that, but I am just so sad about the time we all lost to be together. So when my mom didn’t get to see my grandma before she died, and now dad didn’t see his sister… it just compounds that feeling of loss and missed opportunities to be together. My extended family used to spend so much time together. And I really miss that. The good thing about my aunt being sick and mom being sick.. I have seen my bigger family more in thr last week than I had since Christmas 2019. And that has been soooooo great.
Some proof of that below. A couple of photos from the gathering we held after my aunt’s funeral on Wednesday
I respect you so much for being able to go through all of this the way you are and still see the positive things. It's a gift and you should definitely cherish that <3
It took me a long time to see the bright side instead of the negative things only, so I'm speaking from experience.
In terms of family, I feel sad for your whole family that this is going the way it is, at the same time I see a great strong loving family who supports each other and there's so much love, I can feel it all the way here in Spain.
Hopefully, the rest of you can make some more memories being together.
It's really sad for your dad, and before that for your mother, I can see how that's something that stings especially after the covid years, lockdowns, isolating, that all adds up doesn't it?
I want to say don't forget to take care of yourself but I can see you're not alone so I believe that will be taken care of ;)
Much !LUV and let's hope there is some time for happy vibes now to balance out the grief!
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So sorry for the loss D. It's always tough to deal with.
I wish we could all live to be feisty and active to 100+ like your grandma. At least then you can feel like you (or your loved one) has really milked ALL the living out of this life we are given.
I’m so sorry for your loss Dfinn. She looks like she enjoyed life.
She was a really cool human. I don’t know that I ever saw her mad. She was just so content and really soaked in the joy of all of life’s little moments.
Her service is online. My cousin’s eulogy (like 59 minutes in) really captures her vibe.
https://www.youtube.com/live/9Etsp_cVbvU?si=lQBVb7LzKlFFc9As
This post is a wonderful tribute to your aunt and godmother.
Her sister in law (married to her husband’s brother) came up to me twice. Once at the service and once at the party after, and said I was Aunt Christine’s favorite niece. 😃 I was like don’t tell Nicole and Noelle (my other 2 female cousins present) or the nieces my aunt has via her husband’s family! 😄😄
Ha, that's awesome!! Sad the @dfinney Fan Club has one less member though. I wonder if anyone will tell my kids which one is my fave after I'm gone?
Answer: All of them xD
Ohhhh... So sorry for your loss.
She sounds like such a wonderful person.
I bet she CAN hear the laughter !
Ive had more loss up to this age than most my friends yet I still always feel like I suck at what to say when it comes to these things. So I’ll just say what I’m feeling. Sending you and the family lots of love ❤️ and a celebration of this amazing women’s life! Thinking of u! Thank you for sharing this tribute ❤️
Oh my gosh. I feel the same way! My friend’s mom just died, going to her funeral on the 14th. Old co-worker’s funeral is on the 3rd… and even 2 losses deep into the last 6 months with mom about to go too… I don’t even know what to say to my friend who just lost her mom. People don’t normalize death talk enough. It’s just around the corner for every one of us and we don’t talk about grief enough, or caregiving or even the shitty logistics of wills, taxes, probate, funeral costs, and paperwork that people have to deal with in the midst of huge grief.
Thank you for stopping by, I really appreciate it.
😔 sorry for the loss of aunt Christine - prayers for you and the family my friend
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So painful 😖
May her Soul Rest in Peace Amen 🙏
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