I sank down a little lower on the chair, raised the book I was reading a little higher and tried to look as much like someone else as I could. I deployed my face-rearrangement-strategy which adjusted my face into what I'd hoped looked plain, nondescript, unremarkable and unrecognisable. For all I knew it contorted my face into a (more) hideous visage than usual however, even should that be the case, I hoped it was enough to remain unnoticed. It was not.
"What's wrong with your face G-dog?" The question came from directly in front of where I sat hid in the corner of the café.
I looked up, lowered the book and resisted the urge to look around behind me to indicate I wasn't certain it was I that was being addressed. Realising it was too late and the charade had failed, I rearranged my face back into what passes as my usual face, horrific though it is, and smiled happily grimaced.
Three people stood in front of me, assholes friends of mine.
"Hey champs," I said with all the warmness I could gather, which was very little. "Nothing really, sometimes it doesn't do what it's supposed to. Good to see you," I lied shamelessly.
"We've just finished up at the thing [here I've omitted what they were actually doing on purpose] and came over for a coffee, mind if we join you?"
Would you fuck off and leave me alone, is what I wanted to say however, "oh yeah, it'll be good to catch up for a bit," is what I said. With that I shuffled over, moved my stuff and made some room at the booth.
Those who know me well know I love solitude and actively seek it when I can. I like those moments where I can put aside everything but that which I choose to think about, or simple think about nothing.
Due to the inability to go hiking lately because of a health thing I've found it in other ways, time in a café reading and people watching is one such way. I'd come here, ordered a coffee and that legit cream-filled lamington cake you see in the image and had been enjoying one such moment until a few people I know saw me and decided to say hello intrude on my moment of solitude and peace. Damn my ineffective my face-rearrangement-strategy.
I'll be honest and say that I didn't really mind too much and am somewhat embellishing for the sake of this post however part of me was annoyed as I really find value in those moments...and need them.
It was sheer coincidence those people were in the same place at the same time and, whilst I found it a little annoying that my face-rearrangement-strategy wasn't effective, we had a coffee and chat for an hour and they went on their way. Of course, by then the place was starting to get busier and I was reluctant to stay. I packed up and headed home vowing to put more effort into my face-rearrangement-strategy in the future.
I'm not an antisocial person, I'm just comfortable with my own company and would rather not fill every moment of my day with talking and thinking; I'm happy to shift into neutral and cool my jets a little. I like to shut down, to block out societies' noise...and my own.
I'm one of those people who struggles to shut my brain off most times and I'm always very busy with a million things to do between work, social, personal and relationship commitments. I highly value those occasions when it's possible to zone out which is why I don't like those moments to be interrupted. I work hard, have very little time for myself and when I find the time to shut down I protect it fiercely, and that's why I was annoyed about being recognised and accosted in that café. [I'll concede that accosted is a strong word to use in this instance but hey, my blog, so my words.]
It wasn't a total write-off though I guess; I had a couple cups of good coffee, a very legit cake and the coincidental coffee catch-up with those people means I'll not have to do so for a while now. So, from negatives come positives I guess.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
The image is mine
If I see you in a cafe, I'll leave you alone :P
Nah, you're always welcome to say g'day bro.
Getting lost in your own head's a beautiful thing, but few acquire a knack or taste for it.
I agree, and isn't it a shame many don't feel comfortable enough with themselves to spend more time internally? I think so anyway.
Hey Galen; what's crackin' your end this arvy? I couldn't help but notice the cream filled lamington and was sucked into this post - came through the coffee curation post - and, there ya go, was surprised to see a name I knew.
Ain't those persky drop ins annoying, eh?
My wife and I used to do this thing, where we'd be at our local McCafe at 7am/7.30am on a Saturday morning - we'd buy up our coffees and read the paper. I'm not sure if you'd remember I'm a school teacher, and, after a while, I knew every kid who worked there. Needless to say, we no longer spend our Saturday mornings reading the paper.
(The hot tip for McCafe over other cafes, is that the tables are large, you can fit two papers open in a booth, and they don't try and hurry you up to make you leave!).
Hey mate, I'm just rounding out the working week, about 90 minutes to go.
Yeah, those drop-ins. I mean, I'm not anti-social or anything, but I value my own time and space so leave me the hell alone! Lol.
I totally understand why you'd not want to go to that Maccas anymore, but a great life hack on the table size! 😄
I hope you're well and heading home soon; school's out soon right? Have a great weekend. Have a cream-filled lamington.
You are welcome for the hack; and school is indeed out. It's been out for two weeks, was on isolation with a family member testing positive the week before, and then I had my positive covid test last Sunday.
I've basically had no complications with covid, a swollen uvula for a few days, and a dry mouth for a few hours. I've had a bit of fun with it, was zooming into the classroom for my seniors - had my big head on the classroom screen, camera on the class. No rest for the wicked, or so I'm led to believe.
Will catch ya tomorrow for the weekend, already checked out the prompts and the old nogging of mine is already starting to roll together an idea, but won't publish until Saturday ;) See you then.
It sounds like you've managed the situation reasonably well and haven't left the students high and dry. No rest for the wicked indeed.
I'll see you around on THE WEEKEND community if you get around to doing a post this week. Have a great weekend.
Aha the eternal dilemma: how to be among people and not be bothered by them?
It takes some creative skills to be unapproachable and alone in public space frequented by familiars. Or rather, it's easier to go somewhere unknown to your peers in order to experience the comforts of public space anonymity...
I solve the problem for myself by staying far away from anyone in a remote location. But still occasional folks wander in to annoy me 😅
Remote locations are my kinds of places however on this occasion I had to resort to my face-rearangement tactic. It let me down. I'd make a bad chameleon.
Maybe there's an upside to the current masked up fasion craze 🙃😷🎭👹👺
That's a point. With a mask on and my sun glasses also others can't see how annoyed I am at them bothering me. 🤣
Haha maybe you just need one of those do not disturb signs from a hotel room.
Or wear headphones 🎧
Lol, if you ever see a meme with some dude wearing a do not disturb sign at a cafe...That's me. 🙂
There's some educational material for men to learn not to bother women wearing headphones in cafes...could probably be generalized to anyone looking busy in a cafe
Hey Galen,
I hope you have rearranged your face back to a smile now...well as much as it will allow your smile ...
Lucky you!
This sounds identical to me, so I totally get your point 🤣😏...that's just the way it is, and it is not a bad thing really I believe, heh?
I do hate when that happens though, but seems you handled the situation just well.
As long as you don't allow anything to cause you to not enjoy the coffee itself, everything is good.
Have a lovely Sunday evening and a great week ahead:)
My face has returned to its normal debacle.
Little could ruin a good coffee although incessant babbling comes close. Fortunately the conversation was reasonably enjoyable and so the intrusion wasn't too bad. Not great, but not a disaster.
Try the grease-laden cafe down the back alleys. A different clientele.., not worthy of those 'arseholes'. You may get different company tho..
Haha, yes this is a good idea indeed. There's a few places I could go that are out of the way although I'm likely to get stabbed. Hmm, could be worth the risk.
Hehe....
Omg...I've been in that situation a couple of times, so now I have a spot in my garden , I arm myself with coffee flask some biscuits, even my digs know to be quiet, my husband doesn't come any where close to my spot, it's my space and I ain't sharing it with nobody lol.
My cell phone gets switched off too.
Thanks for sharing @galenkp and keep your space sacred.
I think many have been in this situation and whilst I'm exaggerating the situation a little it's still somewhat annoying right? I like the garden idea you have. I have a spot also but at the moment it's very hot here so an air conditioned café is preferable. It won't be long and I'll be sitting beside my fire pit relaxing at home and not having to worry about being intruded upon.
That sounds good @galenkp, enjoy your weekend. Go well.
The cake was indeed very legit looking!
That is my worst nightmare, when a coffee is hijacked by people wanting to join me. Same with Train journeys, I have a guy I used to work with that thinks we are bezzy mates and when he sees me on the train he wants to sit and talk shite. All Iwant is to sit and read my book!
Lol, yeah those train journey solace interrupter's are indeed annoying. One generally has to feign sleep to shut them up.
Given the lack of eject button that is the next best thing :O)
There's always open windows although I don't suppose many modern trains have opening windows.
Probably for that very reason!!!
Hello gallant, while reading your lines, I felt that many of them were written by me, besides you made me feel that I am not the only one who loves to be alone, the only ones I accept in those moments if I am at home with happiness, is my cats.
I also pretend dementia and I pretend I didn't see people, to get away and like you many times it doesn't work for me, but then I remember that if they have approached me it's because they appreciate me so I try to see it from another point of view, although there are days when you just don't want anyone by your side, even if they love you and vice versa, I love when I am alone at home and I have my moments of solitude and inner peace, as the master Oogway from Kung Fu Panda says when finally everyone leaves and leave him alone, hahaha.
PS: I thought I would read something related to coffee and yes there was, but you were interrupted in your moment of enjoyment.
I believe it's wise to be able to find moments of value no matter where one is, even when surrounded by others. It's a state of mind I guess. I find many such moments in my life but sometimes feel like creating them and often that means excluding other people from my immediate proximity.
Thanks for your comment.
Cheers to Solitude brother! ☕️
It does for sure need protection specially if you’re an introvert…
I'm not necessarily an introvert, I just don't value or trust many people and so keep most at arm's length.
Well that could be a reason too… 😉
Good afternoon Mr. @galenkp.
Enjoy a coffee today, have a nice day.
have a nice day～⊙▽⊙
Ah yes, there's nothing like a good me time. Trust me, I know the feeling all too well.
Frankly, if it were me, I would've politely told them to
fuck offleave me alone for now. I might even make up an excuse that I'm expecting someone to join me just so I can get passed by their unexpected intrusion . But hey, since you didn't really mind, it's all good then.Just make sure you see a professional for that face rearrangement strategy.
We'll get em in round 2 I'm positive.
I need face-rearangement-strategy training.
haha I can totally relate. I would probably give you a wave and then gone back to my own zoning out if I saw you in a cafe. It's not too strong of a word. I often use the word "assaulted" when referring to people making noise.
I can't blame those people for coming over, they were not to know I wanted to be apart from others. They probably thought I was lonely! 😳
Assaulted and accosted are legit words for it I think. 😂
Totally legit haha because that's what it feels like.
Sorry your happy solitude was interrupted.
So... you go out to a public place.... to be alone.
moment of silence while we think about that
ha ha
I do know what you mean, but of course, being recognized and joined is always a risk when spending your alone time in public.
Even before covid, I would laugh and tell people I'm a semi recluse. I am very happy being alone. I do have a social personality and fit in well when I need too. I go do whatever needs to be done and all that, but I'm quite happy at home by myself.
I saw a quote before that said something like this: "Solitude is dangerous. It's addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don't want to deal with people"
When I saw that the first time, I wondered if that is what happened to me. Imagine my surprise when I googed it just now to found it is attributed to Jim Carry ! What ?? Of course, how I wrote it above is the simplified version.
Good thing you had that delectable looking cake to make everything all better. 😄
Yes, public places allow me to be alone and yet still feel part of society in some small way, without any need to interact on anything but a very cursory way when ordering my coffee. I guess we're all different. I don't not like people as I said in the post, I just like my own space.
I’m sure you can be secretive and discreet for a living as well ? 😁
Interesting article I must confess ..
Thanks for your comment.
Hahahahahahaha. If nothing else, you were at least able to write about it in a fashion that amused the rest of us. There's nothing quite like being amused at someone else's expense, is there?
(I'm already hearing you curse at me half way around the globe)
Nah, no cursing. I'm completely fine with people having a laugh at my expense. I played up the encounter a little, just because I could, and am pleased a few found something to smile about.
I have literally almost been brought to tears with intrusions from those select few in our society that can't take a hint, think they are much more interesting than they are, and have no concept of personal space and the importance of solitude.
I am also not too terribly anti-social, but I crave solitude and alone time. It just so happens that my go-to favorite spot is in the same town that I work and most people there recognize me and know me from my position, which gives them more liberty with my time than they should allow lololol and it also leads them down crazy questions and conversations when they catch me "off duty"
Needless to say, I feel your pain on this one and I am here to tell you flat out you are well justified in your feelings and you doe NEED this time.
I welcome a chat and coffee with others, and also my own time. I guess the trick for others is to know when to approach and when to wave hello and move on. I don't blame people for intruding though, I mean it's a public place. I played it up a little in this post. Had I wanted complete solitude I wouldn't have been there.
We all need, or should find, time for ourselves. These days it's so easy to get bogged down with unimportant stuff and finding the ability to shut it out is important.
Very interesting your publication. But one question: are you really not an antisocial person? I ask because you say that you like your solitude, enjoy your moments to yourself, that you don't like to be disturbed, that makes us think the opposite. I think is that at that moment you were with your mind occupied in something and you wanted to meditate in solitude and you were interrupted? it would sound better? No offense or disrespect, but I was struck by your publication and all that you tell us there. I am a faithful lover of a good coffee. Regards
I think I know exactly what I am, as do those who know me. You do not.
I'm sorry, why are you upset? It was just a personal comment. Every writer should accept constructive criticism or opinions about what he writes. And obviously I don't know you, I was just curious and wanted to interact but by your way of answering I see that you don't like to exchange ideas, as you put it in the post. Good night.
Yes, it's best you keep your unfounded and uninformed judgements to yourself, you don't know me, and your line of commenting, in my country at least, is considered rude. Even in this comment above you indicate I am upset which wasn't the case. I merely pointed out you do not know me and that I do know me. You are an extremely judgemental person and clearly have no manners.
Thanks for unfollowing me also, I appreciate it greatly.
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Ah man, nothing worse than wanting that quite you time and some "friends" land and shit all over your plans with tales of nothingness... You'll need to up your face contortion and disguise game my friend..
Haha yes indeed. I've enrolled in face contortion classes so moving forward things will be much more contorted. 😉
An offering of a nice hot cup of shut the fuck up will also do the trick, but there are some who will find that rude 😉
Are you me? I say this sort of thing too! 😀
Cheers...I think this calls for a celebration...A relaxing coffee after work should do the trick. 😁
Exactly! You deserve a cuppa.
I bet you...
Wishing you a relaxing one indeed:)
I have nothing planned, which is a plan in itself I guess. 😜
That sounds ideal! They promote that idea in the Netherlands, called Niksen - the Dutch Lifestyle Concept of Doing Nothing.
Here's a nice article from The Guardian
Those Dutch know what's up!
🤙
Love the honesty. I have gotten a few doses of honesty with a side of reality √'s from You in the past. I respect that cuz you have always done it in an honest and respectful way.
Thanks Bro..!
The King is Dead...
So does that make me the official GIPHY KING.??
Lol...Hey, go look at my last message to you on Threema. It's about gif's.
Yep. I commented on your Accosted Coffee post about it.
Oh, sorry dude, I've had a fucken terrible few weeks. My apology.
I have caught wind of that.
Sending my strength to you bro.
Life is SHIT as we get older.
But You and I are survivors.
So back to an old photo of how I feel about the shit sandwiches life keeps trying to feed us.
Survivors for sure. Unkillable dude.
Current Situation...
Never ending repairs and maint...
Git on up here, I need a wing man on the wrenches.!! LoL
I'd love a holiday.
Seeing your cab tilted reminds me...One of the lads at work was tilting the cab on a K200 (new one). Hadn't dropped the bullbar. Damaged the whole front of the truck. Oops.
Ouch.
I could imagine that with the smaller (bull bar) ones. This is the full size. No chance of that.
Nothing major. Cosmetic trim work. And led light upgrades.
Replacing the Shitty China Chrome work...
Back to the wrenchin' later bro.
Nope, same bullbar...I have some pictures somewhere.
Anyway, I'm off to sleep. Saturday in the morning. Yay! Happy wrenching.