Philosophy? Well, if that’s what you think of it then I’d say okay, hehe.
Perhaps I should have said perspective instead of philosophy. It happens when we communicate in second language. Don't mind, please.
Anyways, marriage is something that wasn’t designed by man like I mentioned,
I also believe so. Marriage is a gift to humans on earth by God Himself.
Recently I judged a LOH contest. From there I realized Christianity has a different take on about marriage than Islam. In Christian faith, once married means to protect it until death. There is no way to get out of the relationship. Correct me if I am wrong here.
In Islam also, marriage is considered really sacred. Nevertheless, it allows to end the relationship and there are proper and detailed guidelines about how this relationship should be ended respectfully and what kind of facilities the man is supposed to provide the woman. If you are interested in knowing Islamic perspective here is the link of a video lecture
https://www.youtube.com/live/jx2NetMfQn8?si=oGww6WzXHBPGwncE
Let me tell you one thing here. While Qur'anic guidelines are pretty clear about divorce, our culture and I think all the Muslim cultures see divorce as ugly. Moreover, I think no culture follows them as they are given to us. Some individuals might be following those guidelines on their own.
About my perspective on marriage, I also want to mention that it is not necessary for any of the partner be a bad person in order for a marriage to not work. Sometimes, two really nice people can also not get along with each other.
I understand you. 🥰
According to the Bible, a man(woman) can only put his wife(husband) away on the ground of infidelity and yes, I recently listened to a podcast where an Islamic lady talked about something similar.
For the fact that we don’t follow these teachings we profess, that alone is us calling problems for ourselves except we don’t even believe in the first place. We always try to play smart but in the real sense, we are not.
That’s right. The person doesn’t have to be a bad person for you to leave them. Not having the same interests and goals might be enough reason for some to know that someone might not be for them. But all of these should happen before anyone even thinks of marriage. There are some things we shouldn’t try to figure out in marriage.
When we met someone we have interest in settling down with, one thing we should ask ourselves is, can I be with them forever? The moment we ask that question, that moment we will start asking more questions to be sure we are making the right choices because, there are other important things to learn about in marriage too. You don’t want to carry over a course, you will only increase your workload and that will sometimes make you want to quit.
I get you, Hope, on the point that things should be sorted and thought out before marriage. There are many things that SHOULD BE, but life, in practicality, is pretty complex. In order to move on We need to figure out what we are supposed to do when what SHOULD NOT happen, happens.
At times, despite having all the good intentions, despite being genuine and truthful, despite asking and answering all the important questions to us relationships go towards a failure. Life happens. You never know
True, very true. We can never figure everything out all at once. There are even sometimes I do things that I even feel surprised that I could do something like that. People change and that is because of what they think about. If we can fix our thoughts (which we most times don’t find easy to do), we will fix so many other problems too.
No matter how well we have planned things, it can always go south and that is why personally for me, I just put everything into God’s hands and be rest assured that challenges will come but at least I have someone who is going to be with me through those challenges and it will be even more better if my partner does the same (this is where having the same interests, beliefs and faith comes in).
I’m not denying the fact that all I’m saying is hard and that what we are going through is not real. It is very real, but that doesn’t mean we should just sit back and settle for anything that comes or for the new normal. It’s just like traveling to a place but in a wrong direction. The moment you realize that you are on the wrong path, normally you should turn back but then, some people can still choose to continue on that wrong path because they feel they have strayed for too long.
Talking things out before getting married doesn’t mean everything will be perfect, it is just you preparing yourself for what is to come because it will definitely come. But once you are married, never forget it is for better and for worst, it shouldn’t be one sided (which is what we see these days, just the good). When it gets hard, it doesn’t mean you should quit, it means something even more beautiful is about to happen but that is if you can pass through that phase successfully.
There’s always a way of escape, if you don’t know that way (which we don’t), ask God, he knows it. 😊
Yeah, marraige is a team work. Marraige means to stand with each other in both the good situations and adverse. However, what if you are putting your 100 percent but the other side doesn't. None of us can make anyone else to adopt the perspectives we keep. I don't see anything wrong in the preparedness in the form of a legal agreement.
Lemme tell you something. I am married and I had a time where I was desperate about the relationship. Had I not have faith on God, I might have gone astray. Yes, the faith helps. I agree.
Nonetheless, I have witnessed cases where the women have been seriously deprived and been left out empty handedly. Despite all their efforts to keep up with the relation they got nothing but misery. A legal agreement might come to their security bit that was never planned.
My faith teaches me to be practical, not just being paasively wait for the things to happen
Wishing you a good day ahead, sister
My faith also teaches me to be practical too. If I’m not, then that is on me.
Well, from what I say here, I believe one thing that can help us as women is to always have something doing. Never depend on the man for everything even though that is his job. We are helpmates to our husbands and for me, that means we should have something tangible doing just in case something happens.
Going into marriage as a woman without having any means of livelihood might be a problem. Depending on the kind of partner you have, never use your money until you know that your husband really needs help.
My faith teaches me that the man should love his wife as he is the head of the woman and the woman should be submissive to her husband but when she is not or the man doesn’t love her, then that is a problem.
I believe that we all know what the right thing is, we just fail to do it or ignore it for too long that it just doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t know what my marriage life is going to be like but I know that I will have a lot of battles to fight. If having a legal agreement is something that one sees as a way to protect themselves, then they should do it but I’m very sure that won’t solve the problems they think it will solve.
Have a beautiful day too, Amber. ❤️
And I wish you a Happy new month. 🥰