I'm actually learning to rely on myself more these days. I hate the fact that I am usually disappointed by friends and family when I think they may be of help. I understand that no one owes me anything including my parents. So...
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It's good to rely on one self to avoid disappointment, I've done that for years but it comes with it own downside sometimes and that's why I'm trying to open up a little.
Of cause, I understand you perfectly.