As humans, basically everyone of us has weaknesses and loopholes that seem to peck us into one position and make us feed up and want to do better. It's not like anyone enjoys having such weaknesses; in fact, it's widely known that humans strive towards perfection in every avenue despite our imperfections but still lack behind in one aspect. I for one have a witness, and today I'll love to share it with you and as well state my opinion about it and a possible way forward.
It's funny that when I first read this week's prompt, the first thing that came to mind as my weakness was food. It was so awkward, and I literally laughed at myself; in fact, I even looked at it and was like, This is going to make me a laughing stock if I put it into words. But on a second thought, I realized I was gradually overcoming my overlove for food and eating at any opportunity, although it could be that this new strength to achieve this was inspired by the current hardship in the country or probably because of my new-found weight loss routine that requires me to monitor what I eat and how much.
So without beating around the bush, after critical thinking and self-awareness, I've come to realize that one of my biggest weaknesses from time past and that's affecting in some aspects is no other than my habit of keeping to myself. I'm this kind of person who would rather hold on to my problems and challenges than share them with others with the aim of getting help, either in the form of empathy, advice, finance, and so on, and I've come to realize that it's holding me down.
There are several occasions when I'll find myself in a ditch, not an actual ditch but just a wordplay that insinuates challenges, and rather than cry for help, I'll just look for ways to fight the challenges on my own rather than call for help, which would have made my escape from such easily and seamless physical and mental, but then it's what it's; i guess I just don't have enough trust in me to share my burden with others without the fear of them using such against me.
If I'm to be truthful with myself, I'll agree that this weakness has caused me some harm and stagnancy. I wouldn't say it caused me more harm than good because I've realized it also as it benefits, but then there are situations where I'm wallowing in pain and needed seriously help, which would have probably been mended with just a comforting word from friends and family, but instead I'll hold on to that, and that ultimately gives room for such difficult to expand and hurt me the more.
And that's not to talk of times when I badly needed financial assistance but would rather work my ass out or even have to let go of what made me need the money in the first place than ask for help from friends and family. It's quite dishearing because even sometimes while I'm struggling to gather such funds I needed for myself, I'll see others freely approach me to seek financial support, and I'll be like, if only this person knows I'm also struggling at the moment, but then since I didn't tell them initially, I tend to just say I don't have capacity to help at the moment.
All of these made me realize that indeed the popular saying that a close mouth is a close destiny is absolutely right. I mean, you can't hold unto your problems without sharing them and expect others to deduce them by reading your body language or your mind; obviously, we can't read each other's minds, so if at all anyone needs assistance in any way whatsoever, the best way forward is to speak up, and that way you'll at least know you've taken a step and help will most likely come or not.
Well, going forward in my bid to initiate a lasting solution to curbing the impact of this weakness, I've decided to start speaking up gradually, at least not to everyone but at least to people I can trust and whom we've got a mutual understanding to the point where I know they'll at least come through for me, if not solving the issue at hand, but to at least comfort me with their words or to at least have a relief that someone somewhere cares and shares my burden genuinely.
Hopefully I stick to this and do it going forward because it'll greatly help me. I remember just last week, when I was worried about when I'd be able to get a hundred and thirty thousand for a medical test and treatment I ought to take today, and then someone else approached me to plead that I help someone who needed help for a challenge. At first I was dejected because I was like,Does this person even know what I'm going through myself before asking me to help someone else? But in the long run, I understood I didn't say anything, so I've got no right to get angry or hold it against the person in question. Ultimately, I ended up rendering the financial help to the person while I continued to struggle to get mine, but then it's what it's.
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I think a lot of us are like this, we rather try to find ways to our problems rather than ask for help, while this can help us grow and make us stronger sometimes it is tiring.
I tried to remind myself sometimes that it is okay to ask for help, I still do not find it very easy to ask yet, but I'm a working in progress.
You've said it all my friend, it's just not easy at all, sometimes I envy those who find this easy, but then I understand we are all different and I don't really find it easy to let someone in on my challenges.
But then, like you said it as it good side which I totally agree with as it goes on to brood our resilience spirit.
Hopefully we find a way to sail through soon, although I don't think I'll get to a point I find it easy to do always.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful words.
A closed mouth is indeed a close destiny. I agree to this statement but to a certain point. When it has gone to that point when one does not speak up, knowing if you do, help will come, it keeps one stagnant and make him or her regret not speaking out. At that point, the phrase comes in.
I have this weak point too but in my case, I speak up to my siblings who I know I can trust and would help in their ways, not necessarily money alone.
This inability to speak out has made people assume you have it all working smoothly and when they come to you, they feel you are the best person to help when in truth, you are also struggling. At that point, I make them know I wouldn't help because I need help too 😀
Yea that's just it, unfortunately even to my siblings I might not open up on most occasions, I guess that's due to the fact that we didn't grow up together.
The statement truely work both ways, I can only hope things improve with time, because not speaking up on several occasions already lead to people thinking I've it all and that things are going well for me.
Thanks for sharing your thoughtful feedback.
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I'm actually learning to rely on myself more these days. I hate the fact that I am usually disappointed by friends and family when I think they may be of help. I understand that no one owes me anything including my parents. So...
It's good to rely on one self to avoid disappointment, I've done that for years but it comes with it own downside sometimes and that's why I'm trying to open up a little.
Of cause, I understand you perfectly.
There's no way I can read your mind when I am not holy spirit..it's just impossible and more reason why we should try not to withhold our challenges. I am the type that speaks up a lot and it's been helping me as long as I speak up to people I trust can hold my issues
I hope you learn to improve on this weakness...it will be worth it
You're a natural at opening up you this looter of the century.
It's not always easy and I don't find it as to do , but then gradually I'll towards those I've fee percentage of trust towards.
Looter of our time
Do better 😌😌
Hmmm. I wrote the same thing as this 😂 how on earth do we have a lot of things In common? Well, I don't know what to advise here because we are the same thing. I wish God help us 🙏.
Vickoly foodoly😂😂, you are a very interesting Comrade.
Yeah man, society has made it abnormal for men to complain or ask for help, as they assume men are strong and should be solely responsible for themselves. And sometimes a problem shared becomes a problem spread. All these has made many of us to be more private with challenges.
But just as you have rightly pointed out, the chances of getting help and support in any case increase the moment we speak up. We all need to trusted friends to help boost our morals when we are down.
You've said it all, the society is one aspect that has made this difficult for many of us and we can help but just depends on our own strength to overcome our difficulties.
But then I'll give it my best to seek up from trusted pal.
Food you say? For someone like me that love food alot has to cut things down because of the current situation of things in my country.
Thanks for sharing
Lol I'm just using it as an example, food isn't my weakness, it's down below.
It's actually good to live of life of self-dependency but never advisable to make a hundred percent thing.
Sometimes we also need help from loved ones and others around us, that's what communal living and love is meant to do.
Thanks for sharing.
Rather than try to see if I could change and talk more about my challenges, I try to eat instead and then think of ways to get the challenges resolved. Then, I'll laugh about it later when I 'gist' my people about it after getting the solutions. 😂