Decision-making is like a coin. You don't know if you will get the head or tail when the coin flipped even when you chose the head.
I am working endlessly on my health too. I am trying and hoping I can stay a day without taking drugs. It is tiring I must confess. We are in the middle of the year and drugs and injections are now my companion though I hope not and I am still bent-willed on things getting better so I understand you.
There are decisions I have made that have helped me to this moment. My introverted and extroverted sides know when to unlock themselves without a switch.
To sum this all up, I do agree that;
We can't have it all.
It's important to understand that our body itself can be very mild and unpredictable, so I understand your fraustration due to taking drugs everyday. Just hang in there. It's a very good decision to keep doing that. Keep doing it. It'll not last forever, as I'm very sure you'll recover very soon. As for mine, my own health issues are even far more complicated, but in living and coping through it.
I am hanging oooo... Though on a thread but I am still hanging 😂😂.
I hope you get better too.