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Talking about a code of conduct can be a cliché, we often say that we do this or that, but when the time comes, we may have deviated a little. Well, I created a code for myself since I became an adult, a family man and a husband. This idea in my head of following a book of mental rules is basically being a good, polite person, giving the chance to listen and also speak, always with the greatest calmness possible.
Of course, this is just one point among many that I have in mind, but I can say that after I realized that one of my biggest mistakes as a teenager was simply not listening to people, just judging and saying what I think without giving them a chance to speak. It's a time when I'm not very proud, I know that I wasn't such a good person with some friends that I had, so I followed that conduct. I believe that we should stop to listen more than to talk.
Those who know me here at Hive, whether through conversations on WhatsApp or through my random updates that I make on web2 networks and even what I share here at Hive, can get a sense of who I am. I like to talk, to be a nice person and to support people and I especially like to listen (in this case, read) everything that people write. I think we can learn from everyone, in that relationship where I can always teach as well as learn. This can happen to anyone and, with that, I confirm my way of being even more.
UnsplashThis code can be a bit heavy sometimes, I don't deny that sometimes I ask myself why I follow it, why I listen to people, even if they might not be the best of people or, for example, in a complicated moment, in a cycle of fights, I still stop to listen to people. It's bad sometimes, yes, but I still think I should follow it. Every story has two sides, and both parties need to hear these stories so they can be sure of what happened or not. I always say that the biggest distance between two people is misunderstanding.
A more personal example is when my wife and I have the most tense and heated moments, when something didn't work out between us and we argue. I think this is natural in any relationship. We're not perfect, and of course we don't need to fight all the time, but anyway, whenever we discuss the relationship, she usually comes out much more nervous than I do. But I always say something like, for example: "Sit down here, let's talk" or "Explain to me what I did so I can understand better", and well, that helps a lot. She always brings up the points that upset her and that helps a lot to resolve that more complex moment.
This is a code of conduct that I have. It is not always effective, nor does it always solve the problem, but I think it improves things a lot when we decide to just listen first before we start talking or attacking people. You need to be calm and collected. Not everything goes as planned, and that is why you need to have this mindset, of wanting to solve things, of having an open mind to talk. That is why I follow this code of conduct.
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Falar sobre um código de conduta pode ser algo clichê, muitas vezes sempre falamos que fazemos isso ou aquilo, mas na hora da verdade, pode ser que nos desviamos um pouco. Bem, eu criei um código para mim desde que me tornei um adulto, um pai de família e um marido. Essa ideia na cabeça de seguir um livro de regras mentais é basicamente ser uma pessoa boa, educada, dando a chance de ouvir e também falar, sempre com a maior tranquilidade possível.
Claro que esse é apenas um ponto dos vários que tenho em mente, mas posso dizer que, depois que percebi que um dos meus maiores erros na adolescência foi simplesmente não ouvir as pessoas, apenas julgar e falar o que penso e sem dar chance para ela falar. É uma época em que não me orgulho muito, sei que não fui uma pessoa tão boa assim com alguns amigos que já tive, portanto, tive como conduta seguir isso. Acredito que devemos parar mais para escutar do que falar.
Quem me conhece aqui na Hive, seja por conversas no WhatsApp ou com as minhas atualizações aleatórias que faço nas redes da web2 e até mesmo o que compartilho aqui na Hive, pode perceber um pouco como eu sou. Gosto de conversar, de ser uma pessoa legal e de dar apoio para as pessoas e gosto principalmente de ouvir (no caso, ler) tudo o que as pessoas escrevem, acho que podemos aprender com todas as pessoas, naquela relação onde a todo momento posso ensinar assim como posso aprender. Isso pode acontecer com qualquer pessoa e, com isso, confirmo mais ainda o meu jeito de ser.
UnsplashEsse código pode ser um pouco pesado às vezes, não nego que às vezes me pergunto porque sigo ele, porque escutar as pessoas, mesmo que talvez elas não sejam as melhores das pessoas ou, por exemplo, em um momento complicado, de ciclo de brigas, ainda paro para escutar as pessoas. É ruim, às vezes, sim, mas mesmo assim acho que devo seguir ele, toda história tem dois lados, é preciso que ambas as partes escutem essas histórias, para poderem ter uma certeza do que aconteceu ou não. Sempre digo que a maior distância entre duas pessoas é o mal-entendido.
Um exemplo mais pessoal é quando eu e a minha esposa temos os momentos mais tensos e calorosos, quando algo não deu certo entre nós 2 e assim discutimos. Acho que isso é natural de qualquer relacionamento, não somos perfeitos, claro que também não precisamos viver sob brigas, mas enfim, sempre que discutimos a relação, ela costuma vir bem mais nervosa do que eu, mas eu sempre digo algo como, por exemplo: “senta aqui, vamos conversar” ou “me explica o que foi que fiz para poder entender melhor”, e bem, isso ajuda bastante, ela sempre coloca para fora os pontos que a deixaram chateada e isso ajuda muito a resolver aquele momento mais complexo.
Um código de conduta que tenho é esse, nem sempre é efetivo, nem sempre resolve, mas acho que já melhora muito quando a gente decide apenas escutar primeiro antes de começar a falar ou atacar as pessoas. É preciso ter tranquilidade, calma, nem tudo sai como planejamos e, por isso, é preciso ter essa mentalidade, de querer resolver as coisas, de ter a mente aberta para conversar, por isso, sigo esse código de conduta.
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This is an exceptional code we all should try and leave by cause it will really help us in the future, it seems you really managed this code well and it has helped you a lot. Thanks for sharing brother, I really learnt a lot
We human beings need more of this, to listen more, to talk more and try to understand both sides of the story. This would certainly help us to be more loving and lasting with people. Thanks for the comment my friend!
Your welcome my friend
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I think is always good to hear people out first before judging them from a little mistake that we can equally make
I learned this the hard way, which was by losing people's friendships. There was a time when I always wanted to impose my truth and that was that. Today I understand better that listening is good, hearing both sides of the story can make a big difference.
Exactly
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