The joy of every parent is to see their children grow into responsible citizens but these come with few sacrifices.....
Raising a child is not easy at all and I must commend our mothers in a very special way, this is because most times they are the only ones mostly available as the father is bustling around for the daily bread, so, unless your formative age was different, I spent mine mostly with my mum while our father came home twice a week (you needed to see the joy in our face whenever he came back).
As a child, most of the reasons why some certain things are done to us remain blurred to us and only get clearer the more we grow and this is what makes it most difficult to raise a child.... It seems like two opposing counsels coming after one another.
It takes extra effort to get the child to drop what he thinks is right and do that which you want, sometimes requiring parents to take drastic measures.
I had a very wonderful childhood but then there are few things I would love to do extra for my children:
Things I did but my children won't
Won't Spend The Whole Day Hanging Out:
Growing up as a child, I was very free to go out anytime I wanted most of the days that weren't school days.
We lived in the same neighborhood with my cousins and friends and we will always hang out together to spend the whole day doing nothing other than playing and discussing (most times, my parents will send my sibling to instruct me to come home anyway).
This was very enjoyable to me then but thinking about it now, I won't love my children to do the same thing.
I am not against them hanging out with friends but then I am certainly against them hanging out with their friends from morning till night like I did.
The more a child go out, the more exposed he or she becomes and the world is really going crazy nowadays so I wouldn't love my child to be exposed to what he or she can't process with the small knowledge he has and end up getting confused in life or making a mistake under my watch.
As a growing child also, he should be focused on reading good storybooks and hangout only in the evening because yes! There is time for everything under the sun.
Won't Spend The Whole Day Playing:
Here comes another thing I really enjoyed growing up.
My mum will always shout at me while growing up telling me that, "morning is sacred and not for playing" but once she leaves for work, I'll wait for 30minutes before running out to join my peers to play.
What a stubborn boy I was🤦
I am a lover of football as you may have known and this love started since I was a kid.
Back then as a child, we played football even till 7pm and will continue if we aren't stopped.
Sometimes we start playing as early as 10am when we haven't even finished doing house chores assigned to me.
My children will have their time to play football or engage in any recreational activity they want but I am saying it must be after a productive day.... Maybe they will start playing in the evening and must end playing on or before 6pm.
This will enable them to take their bath,rest well and get ready for the rest of the day's activities.
Also, it will help them to be able to finish up with assisting in kitchen duties to make sure the dinner is ready on time.
Fighting:
Fighting was another trademark I had as a child.
This is very sad because most times after fighting, I end up regretting it and most times the person I fought with will come with his or her mother to my home at night to complain.
Are you surprised seeing her😂..
Of course, when I was small, I fought both genders with reckless abandon... I just see you as my troublemaker and no gender strings was attached., Hehehe.
I would advice my child never to engage in fights because most times they end up complicating small issues.
They are really not worth it at the end.
I will teach them how dialogue helps solve problems better than fighting and would hope they listen and adhere to it.
Things that was done to me but I won't do to my children
Flogged With Big Cane:
Yes! As you may have seen above, I was quite stubborn growing up but what I didn't like was my father flogging me with canes taller and bigger than I am then😩
I still have the memories of those canes in my head.. they are so big that seeing them alone could send you to coma😂.
What if I died, hehehe.
I would correct my children as the occasion demands and with whatever techniques available but then if it warrants flogging, I will try and find a sizable one.
Although I don't really believe in correcting children with canes but I know that some situations call for it but most times, I will explore other available options (advice and other punishments) before resorting to a sizable cane, hehe.
Denied A Meal:
It's no news in the African homes about denying a child meal when he misbehaves.
I didn't personally experience this though but I always saw our neighbor doing it to her child.
On my end, my mum will make sure you cry begging for that food but will give you your share after a while probably after you've done what you refused doing before the food came 😂.
I really don't like this idea of starving the child as I think this makes the child vulnerable to eat from anyone he sees that offers one.
I think this is a bad thing for the child to grow up doing
Also, malnutrition is really something to avoid especially in children as it could affect their growth and development.
Like I said before, I would explore other options of punishment as starving isn't an option for me.
Fulfil My Promise To My Child:
Just very few persons here weren't promised bicycle if they take the first position in their class 😂
How many persons got it because I didn't, hehehe.
This is to tell you how common it is over here, parents keep promising us heaven and earth If we succeed in one thing or another and they never fulfill these promises.
I know the promises were to serve as source of motivation to us and maybe they would have loved fulfilling it but situations didn't permit.
For my children, I would love to promise them what I could afford at that point so that if they end up succeeding, I will gladly fulfill what I promised them.
This will not only make them look up to your promises but will also make them strive harder to put in their best because they know gift awaits them should they perform well but will also boost their confidence and above all, teach them to take promises serious because a man should be responsible for what he says.
Be More Available As A Father:
Just like I've said earlier, my dad wasn't there most times in my formative age because he was out working hard to put food in our table which is a very beautiful thing and I owe him for that.
But when I have my own children, I would really love to do everything possible to be there for them even as I strive hard to put food in their table also.
I would love to have a special connection and bond with my children.
God bless every parent out there
God bless our mothers
God bless every kid out there also
Thanks for reading through and have a great week ahead👍
Hmmm.. this is interesting.
When kids get too exposed to the outside world, they start to get influenced by their peers and that could be wrong in the end if they aren't watched over on time. Parents need to ensure their kids plays with others but shouldn't be long but to call them in while they find something productive doing, like reading books and studying their school works.
Positive reinforcement is good and parents need to stick to their promise so that the child would focus and be serious next time. Something parents did not realize is that children would feel tired and unconcerned next time when they are being promised and didn't fulfill. They would be like, "after all, dad and mom are always making promise and will not do it". That is the beginning of losing motivation and seriousness.
Exactly my dear.... It's better to limit the places they go especially when they are still small so that they don't easily get influenced.
That's it exactly dear, unless , if the child actually wants to do that which he wants but not because of the price attached
Wow an interesting informative post, I really enjoyed it and I can’t wait to be a parent, I really love kids and so I’m always learning more about kids
I'm not a parent yet also.. so we all are all doing whatever it will take for us to change the current trend of parenting.
Thanks a lot for reading and leaving a comment... I really appreciate
You are most welcome
This is a very concrete post and I like how concise you are in driving each point home.
I agree with everything you said especially the things you said you wouldn't allow your kids to do.
Most of the lifestyle we have at older age is usually a reflection of how we grew up. I always tell myself that I won't allow my kids to do anything that will make me hate them. In that case, it's left for me to do what I can at their tender age in order to get them accustomed to a lifestyle that will help them become the best they can possibly be as they grow older.
Exactly bro... It all starts from imbibing them with the way you want them to grow up from the tender age.
Yes, we all should strive to raise children that would be able to love us, children that could approach us anytime anyday and tell us what's on their mind... The burden and challenges they are facing also.
Thanks for leaving a comment and thanks for praising my arrangements...hehehe
Thanks
Hahaha 😂🤣🤣
I still remember one of these days
Chai...I felt for u and KC that day 😂🤣🤣
I didn't like it either but everyone has his own method of discipline.....find sizeable cane for Ur future kids o
Or use deprivation method... deprived them of what they love most... it's so effective in my home.
I can relate to other of your points my dear... and I believe Ur future kids will enjoy u if u implement these plans
!ALIVE
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This really seems more like me... Thanks for this, I didn't know about this method.
Well, they say experience is the best teacher and since you've experimented this, It means it works perfectly fine.
I really hope to be a better father... My all-time dream 🙏
Thanks big Aunt for leaving a comment and for the support... I appreciate
The pleasure is mine my amiable Doctor
I am feeling headache ooo 😂
What do I do ? Lol
Hahahaha
See you again, happy and successful week.Hi @sperosamuel15, it is a pleasure to read your writings, always full of learning and socialization. To educate children there will be no magic recipes. Each child is a world and a particularity, what may be the solution for one suddenly will not be for another. It is a maze of situations, but as parents with love and dedication nothing is impossible. Ufff you were intense as a child, well that is indicative that you were healthy and well cared for, mischief comes in the package when children arrive.
It's my pleasure Ma
Really happy seeing your compliments... I'm really glad☺️
May God bless you 🙏
Sadly, that is the honest truth.
There is no laid down principle or rules on training a child
So to wonder why some children that were well trained and brought up in a good Christian family ends up becoming nuisance to the society but just like you said, with love and dedication and prayers, parents will do a good job bringing up their children.
Have a blessed week also
Same to you, blessed week
Very well write man. Good luck for the contest. I am not married yet but I'll be available as a father 😃. Words taken.
From everything said here, it's obvious you're gonna make a great Dad. Every African reading this can relate to the beautiful story laid down here.
Nice one big brother 🙃
Big brother wound you😅😅.... Ode
Our deal is still up on the table, I'll always remember.
Thanks my gee for reading and leaving a comment
Having a special connection to one's child is a beautiful thing and your post aim at it. I hope they come true.
Amen
Thanks for reading
🤗🤗🤗
Cheers to upcoming dads. You'll make a wonderful father form all indications. I hope you remember these things though and apply them. African parents try their best but sometimes their methods of discipline is really uncalled for. I'm happy you shared these wonderful stories with us and I'm also happy you're no longer a trouble maker. I hope 😂✨
Hahaha... Thanks a lot.
Yes, I am not a trouble market again, be rest assured 😅😅.
Thanks for always visiting and leaving a comment..... I really appreciate