The world is full of "two-faced" people. They are someone who is deceitful and presents a different, often more positive, persona to different people. They deliberately hide their true feelings or opinions to manipulate situations or gain favor. Their actions don't align with their words, making them appear dishonest and unreliable. Dealing with these kind of people is always challenging. We unable to identify, the true nature and may end up falling into their selfish act. I have many instances where these hypocratical people often make use of me in their own way. But even being aware of their intention, I could not say NO. I just tried to maintain a cordial relation rather than making it toxic.
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Earlier, I easily used to ward off from keeping any relation with these people. I had many people who did some unfair act, and I remove them from my life like a bad dream. May be considered it as my weakness of trusting someone easily and giving them oppurtunity for a healthy relationship. But these two-faced people never change their attitude and remain a vulnerable figure around. So warding off from them is the only option left to me. This is what taught me about the mean and selfish world prevailing in today time. But when it comes to family, it is not so easy keeping everyone at bay. Rather we should try to maintain a relationship, even knowing of their true intentions.
The drama and the wounds!
There are many people who might choose to stay with someone who has treated them poorly due to a complex mix of factors. Avoiding them in real life is not possible. Key reasons why people stay in unhealthy relationships:
Fear of abandonment: The overwhelming fear of being alone can make people tolerate negative behavior rather than risk leaving the relationship. They develop trust factor, which are non negotiable.
Low self-esteem: Individuals with low self-worth might believe they don't deserve better treatment and may accept mistreatment as the norm. It takes a lot to develop self esteem. Feeling unworthy or not believing they deserve better can lead people to tolerate unhealthy behavior in a partner.
Hope for change: People often hold onto the belief that their partner will eventually change their behavior, leading them to stay in the relationship. The remain intact on their faith to continue the relationship.
Past trauma: Early childhood experiences with unhealthy relationships can unconsciously lead people to seek similar dynamics as adults. A cycle of positive and negative behavior can create a strong emotional connection, making it difficult to break free.
Attachment issues: Insecure attachment styles can make individuals cling to partners even when they are treated poorly, fearing rejection.
Manipulation: Some people might be skilled at manipulating their partners, making it difficult to leave the relationship. Abusive partners often use tactics to distort the victim's reality, making them question their own perceptions and doubt their ability to leave.
Sunk cost fallacy: The feeling of having invested too much time and energy in a relationship can make it hard to walk away, even if it's unhealthy.
Denial: Minimizing the severity of negative behaviors or rationalizing them can prevent people from acknowledging the unhealthy nature of the relationship. Worrying about the partner's reaction or potential violence can prevent someone from leaving.
Embrace peace & respect!
To avoid a toxic relationship, focus on recognizing early warning signs, establishing strong personal boundaries, prioritizing open communication, trusting your intuition, and building self-esteem to attract partners who respect and value you, while actively seeking relationships that promote mutual growth and support; if something feels off, don't hesitate to step back and re-evaluate.
It is important, to educate ourself on the dynamics of healthy partnerships. Identify areas where we might be vulnerable to toxicity and lead a healthy life. Sometimes, the hardest goodbye is the one that set us free. Don't let someone dim our light to fit their darkness. Simply say "no" and walk free.
In good faith - Peace
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It is not easy getting out of a toxic relationship but it is definitely easier to detect signs of toxicity if and only if we're observant enough.
The problem is the emotional and sentimental connection that we develops over the period of time....even we detect it signs and take precautionary measure there are chances the pain will be less.
In my opinion, if you are trapped in a toxic relationship, most of what I know they will be more inclined to survive even though it hurts, because living alone is not easy to live, love that is already close with their partner will be very difficult to leave, there is a separate reason for their partner who chooses to survive rather than be abandoned.
It's a pleasure for me to read your article.
I know a hive user who went through some painful experince in their relationship. But now knowing and looking the way she progressed is overwhelming...I salute to her fighting spirit.
This is an interesting take on the subject and I see where you are coming from. But where and how does a person draw the line and leave the toxic relationship? What I am not able to understand is why people stay in a toxic environment and wait for the other person to miraculously change. I just want to understand.
I am selfish and I accept that as a fact. I have a strong sense of self preservation. I will help others only is situation where it benefits me, rarely when its of no benefits. And I believe that it's fine. Don't you think, you have to be in peak conditions of you ever want to help out another one. As for the toxic relationship, everyone has their poison I guess.
I want to help but before helping others i should have a strong footing to. Right? ❤️☮️
How far u will go in detecting the footing when it comes to trusting someone in your family or relation...there might be the case that you give up 100 % but when you need some help they back out.... I helped a lot in my office days, but instead of grateful they took the credit...and ignored my contribution may be I am too lame to understand their intention.
Bhai, Office Office hota.
Company day one se hi zero sum game par chalti hain. Hansi mazak baaki sab apni jagah but kaam apna hona chahiye.
Koi nahi abhi aap relatives ke beech ho, wahan alag ho khel hota hain. 😅
Bhai yahi toh samjhne me time lag gaya...but never gave up fighting the two faced peoole....now learnt a little either to pave away or saying No
Bhai, Say No. Practice it everyday.
You can't make everyone happy.. aur karne ki zarurat bhi nahi. 😅
It's good that you have been able to move past those toxic relationships. I've been in ones like that before and it is hard to see it when you are in it sometimes.
So deep philosophy bhai. But very true. Well articulated.