Try to stick to the same tense, you jumped around a few times between the present and past tense e.g. 'It was as if the air has been cleared out of the room' should instead read:
'It was as if the air had been cleared out of the room. I used to make this mistake frequently so I spotted it straight away 😅
Make sure to check through your grammar as well, one example is the following:
'They were all happy, except for him, the black sheep in the family.' should instead read:
'They were all happy, except for him, the black sheep of the family.'
Try to avoid repeating the same word or phrase near one another e.g.
'His thoughts were all murky, he needed alone time to clear his head, like always. Even so, his disposition was misrepresented like always.' could instead be something like the following:
'His thoughts were all murky, he needed alone time to clear his head, a regular occurrence these days. Even so, his disposition was misrepresented, like always.'
Try to stick to the same tense, you jumped around a few times between the present and past tense e.g. 'It was as if the air has been cleared out of the room' should instead read:
'It was as if the air had been cleared out of the room. I used to make this mistake frequently so I spotted it straight away 😅
Make sure to check through your grammar as well, one example is the following:
'They were all happy, except for him, the black sheep in the family.' should instead read:
'They were all happy, except for him, the black sheep of the family.'
Try to avoid repeating the same word or phrase near one another e.g.
'His thoughts were all murky, he needed alone time to clear his head, like always. Even so, his disposition was misrepresented like always.' could instead be something like the following:
'His thoughts were all murky, he needed alone time to clear his head, a regular occurrence these days. Even so, his disposition was misrepresented, like always.'
Keep improving and giving it your all! 😊