Image by Kelly van de Ven from Pixabay
“Yes, it was over when that man started telling Capt. Ludlow about his 300-year-old business, but there's also another way to look at this, Velma, that is more peaceful and even more powerful.”
Mr. Thomas Stepforth was talking with his eleven-year-old granddaughter, Velma Trent, and his two older grandchildren, 21-year-old Melvin and days-short-of-18 Vanna Trent, were listening in the background.
“Certainly I have broken down enough people in business conflict when they were dumb enough to throw what they thought made them important in my face,” Mr. Stepforth said, “but here is the thing: you can't play offense on defense. Capt. Ludlow is defending his family, but that's not the way he has talked with people inside his company in order to build it to the point that he can make a multi-million dollar exit along with your dad.”
“This is true,” Velma said, “because even though it started a bit rough between Capt. Ludlow and my dad, they really do have some great conversations now.”
“They have gotten to know each other, and respect and admire each other,” Mr. Stepforth said. “But there's a shortcut. You can take the defensive strategies Capt. Ludlow used and turn them to your advantage – knowing your opponents can show you opportunities to disarm them before anyone has to get hurt, how to find compromises that can work for everyone, and sometimes, make a friend.”
“I remember this business negotiation that went on a year in 2005 – the person on the other side did not want to sell at all, but definitely not to me. He priced it high enough to get beyond what he thought I could afford, not having done his research – and then did some research and realized he needed to hike the price some more, and then lost all his other buyers. But he still didn't want to sell to me, and was courting other buyers in hopes that he wouldn't have to – and let that be known, openly.
“Meanwhile, I was researching this man, and I found out there were only two things he took pride in: his company, and non-profit work to rescue horses. Well, as you know, my big brother, your uncle Wallace, loved horses and rescued several, so I could understand what the passion was there.
“So, I found out the man was doing a big fundraiser for horse rescue. I went and talked with your Uncle Wallace, made sure I understood the lingo, and we both rolled out to the fundraiser. Being the only two Black people there of course meant we stood out, and of course the man I was negotiating with was shocked to see us – and he was further stunned to know how up on the whole issue we were relative to the whole situation in southern Virginia. Of course I made a nice, large donation.
“The next morning, the gentleman called me.
“ 'This is the first time in twenty years that I've done big business with anyone who bothered to learn who I am, what I care about, and how to connect. I'm a bigot and it has worked for me until now, but not now. You're the only one I think I can trust with my business, so, I am going to sell it to you.'”
“Wow,” Velma said. “That makes sense because that's how Capt. Ludlow himself thawed out.”
“Well, I've looked him up – he was raised a bigot, but never was that person in the Army – there is a part of him, having seen what he did at just five, that has always known racism is wrong. But I think you having your Black parents while his grandkids don't have their parents just hit him back to something fundamental, because the way he was raised, Black people die of drug overdoses, but White people don't. So he had to process that when the Trent truth hit him in the face, and you have your parents, and his grandkids don't.”
“I gotta say that when he got it together, he really did,” Velma said.
“I can tell,” Mr. Stepforth said. “The fact that he turned in his uncles 53 years later means he gets it. Bu think about the story I told you, relative to Capt. Ludlow. What does he care about the most?”
“His grandkids,” Velma said, “and them not going through what he went through and his kids their parents went through. Racism is kinda their enemy too.”
“Racism is everyone's enemy – we just find out faster as Black people,” Mr. Stepforth said. “But when you learn to love, whether it be horses or your family, everything about false reasons to hate poisons your ability to love. Sooner or later, you have to choose.”
“I'm glad you made the right decision, and I'm glad Capt. Ludlow has too,” Velma said.
“Me too,” Mr. Stepforth said. “We do not need any more poisoned kids in the world – not you, not your Ludlow friends.”