Greetings fellow Poets ✍️
Today I turn 29 years old and I feel blessed! My day started like all the other ones, pretty standard. I went to work for a bit, had lunch with my partner, did some more work and finally, we went to dinner with my sister-in-law and her partner. Overall was a chilled day.
Since yesterday I've been reflecting a lot about where I was a year ago and thought that this was an excellent opportunity to share a poem - or two in this case. Today's share is mostly to show you the difference a year had in my life and how it reflected on my mind and my thoughts.
A year ago I was going through the worst phase of my depression, adjusting to my anti-depressive medication. A year ago, my mind was so wrapped and so null that was filled with suicidal thoughts. Not that I wanted them, I pushed them away as hard as I possibly could. No matter how hard I tried, for that 2 weeks adjustment period, those horrible thoughts just kept pushing back and sneaking into my mind.
That little voice presented me with such an "easy way out" of my suffering.
Easy Way Out
This first poem was written a year ago, on 19/04/2022. I think it goes without saying the desperation here was screaming. This was actually the first poem I wrote in my life, originally in Portuguese. Something I thought to be impossible for me to do. OH, life and its little twists, right? It might be something that lyrically and technically doesn't make sense for a poem building, but they were my most inner and deep thoughts expressed.
I guess this poem makes more sense in my native language than when translated to English but I wanted my word to be understood by everyone so here goes nothing 😆
Panic spurts
in the snap of a finger,
My broken thoughts
revealing my frights.
This anxiety that builds within
by constant disorganization.
Is it my mind that stimulates
this fulminating ache?
Where does it come from
That I do not know...
Pieces of me that perish,
but it was I who gave them!
This giving without limits
that I don't know how to avoid,
jumping between hunches
dodging what I have to face.
Translated with DeepL (free version)
O pânico despoltado
num estalar de dedos,
O meu pensamento destroçado
revelando os meus medos.
Esta ansiedade que se acumula
pela desorganização constante.
Será a minha mente que estimula
esta dor fulminante?
De onde é que isto vem
Isso eu não sei...
Pedaços de mim que perecem,
Mas fui eu que os dei!
Esse dar sem limites
que não sei como evitar,
Saltitanto entre palpites
evitando o que tenho de enfrentar.
A new way
Now, a year later, I have stopped my medication and I'm feeling great! I've regained my will to live and I've recently made another poem that I'm especially proud of. I've been to Mexico recently on a family holiday - that's a story for another post - and I've written this poem there, sometime between 6 am while looking at the beautiful sunrise (as you can see in my photo above).
Pensamentos que fluem
como uma corrente,
Ideias que evoluem
A partir de uma nascente.
Clareza da mente
nunca antes vivida.
Cada vez mais se sente
A menina perdida.
Tão bom que é
sentir o potencial,
Talvez tenha agora fé
de que ele é substancial.
A curiosidade natural
que surje da exploração.
Aquela tão essencial
à nova criação.
Sem amarras e preconceitos
nem culpas ou anseios.
Que bom que é este feito
de pensar sem receios.
Thoughts that flow
like a current,
Ideas that develop.
from a nascent .
Clarity of mind
never experienced before.
More and more one feels
the lost little child.
So good it is
to feel the potential,
I may now have faith
that he is substantial.
The natural curiosity
that arises from exploration.
The one so essential
to the new creation.
Without chains and prejudices
or guilt or longing.
How good is this achievement
of thinking without hesitation.
Translated with DeepL (free version)
Final notes 💭
That's it today from me! I always feel a bit hesitant to post with translation because the meaning of the words and their flow is always a bit lost from the main language. However, I also learned to trust my instinct to share when I feel like it, so here it goes 😊.
I hope you enjoyed going through my little creations and I thank you for your time reading them 🤗.
Until next time 🙌👋
All images are my own unless stated otherwise
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To rebuild oneself one must destroy oneself, hitting rock bottom serves to be reborn from the ashes and fly towards infinity. In these two poems you show us how that process of destruction was and be reborn as a new being.
Excellent verses to reflect on.
Thanks for sharing.
Good day.
I like how your worded it - reborn 😍 that feels just right 👌 Thank you for taking the time to reflect on them, I really appreciate 🙏
Hey @blackdaisyft <3
Happy birthday to you!!! Although I consider it to be just a number, still these days remind us about our progression in our own life, and you see, you also can compare poems in the gap of one year. What a different mood, I am happy to see the more positive vibes ;))
🤗
Hey there @mipiano! It's been a while, how are you? I must pay a visit to your blog soon to see what you've been up to 😁
They do! And this year in particular I've been reflecting on these profound changes! I'm glad my vibes also give that impression heheh
Thank you so much for stopping by and for the birthday wishes heheh! Much !LUV and !HUG
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Don't pay me a visit yet hehe, nada new on my blog for a week or so, though maybe a post will come... in its time 😅
(I am still sorry we didn't make it to meet in Lisbon)
I am indeed glad to hear about you, how you reflect on the last year and the difference you feel. 🤗
Hehehe then I'll keep my eyes open for when that new post comes out ☺️😚
I'm sure there will be more opportunities in the future! We are neighbours after all so I wouldn't be surprised if another opportunity presented shortly ahah 😍
Hi! Very nice your poems, it makes a big difference in that year of your life and I'm glad it was for the better! I was able to read them more or less in your original language, looking up a word or two. Despite being similar to Spanish, as I was reading it I was thinking what it would be like to think of pain as feminine (in Spanish it is masculine, "el dolor"). Maybe pain is the same for us, but the images around it must be very different. Language stuff. !LUV !PIZZA
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Hi @agreste! Welcome to my little corner of Hive 😄 thank you for your time and for making an effort of reading it in my mother language! It has some similarities with Spanish no doubt.
Relative to pain, in portuguese, its a feminine word "a dor". Which now that you have mentioned it, it's quite an interesting discussion to have 🤔 the different interpretation on different languages some words can have just by the fact they are considered feminine/masculine. At least, in binary languages such as portuguese or spanish that mostly every word has a genre... I think english is a more neutral way of communicating in that regard.
Anyways, thank you again for stopping by, it is nice to met you 😊🙌
$PIZZA slices delivered:
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Happy birthday my sweet sweet friend 💗 You have taken such a holistic deep dive into your life this past year to get to the root of the cause. I'm just immensely happy that you can feel your life returning to you. It's an incredible moment when we feel empowered once more to regain that sense of control and reclaim the joy. I hope you never again have to experience the lows that you once did. And that is incredible that you are off the meds now. Such a huge step.
The change in one year from poem to poem is incredible. The positive flow of energy that runs through your recent one carved out in Mexico speaks of a woman who has reclaimed her life, her joy, her momentum... her hope. Such a juxtaposition to the previous one, which encapsulated despair and capitulation. Being able to look back over one's life, to meet that little child where she was and heal at that point is so important. And now to have clarity, focus, and peace; to have faith that things are going to be alright... BLISS.
Just wonderful. Sending much love 🤗💗 !LUV !ALIVE !LADY
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@blackdaisyft! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @samsmith1971. (1/10)
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Thank you so much my dear Sam ❤️🥰 I've been so lucky to have you following along my journey as well and for that I'm deeply grateful 🙏
I'm delighted to be off my meds now although I don't actually feel much of a difference hehe but it's great for my confidence to be able to feel ok without any external help 😁😁☺️☺️
that is why I'm very proud of this last poem, althought I don't feel like that all the time, nowadays those feelings and that type of clarity are present much more often 😊😊🙌🙌 it is as you say... pure BLISS ❤️🥰😍
I'm even way more excited to see what next year will bring in my life!! I can only hope to be even at a better place, more grounded and more me 😁😁😊
Much !LUV and !HUG
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Every year, every month, every week and every day that passes we are different and we meet at different times. I am glad that this time the balance is more positive than the previous one, the important thing is not to forget what we went through, which is what has brought us so far.
Congratulations, happy 29th birthday!!
A big !HUG
You are so right! Life is constant change and we are never the same as time passes by 😊🙌 thank you for stopping by and thank you for the birthday wishes! 😍😁
Happy birthday xxx
Love the flow of both poems and what a testament to your healing journey xxxxx
Thank you so much @trucklife-family💓 I really appreciate your feedback 🙏
The shift you made is reflected clearly in the words you used in the second poem as opposed to the first one. Congratulations for your transformation and for sharing your creative writing with us.
Thank you for taking the time to read them 🙏☺️
Pena já não conseguir curar este post. Porque na verdade estão ambos muito fixes (os poemas). Sempre apreciei o facto dos poemas terem um significado "secreto" extra quando comparados com a escrita normal, pela forma como se interpreta e se associa o significado das palavras aos diversos sentimentos. Não leio muito por natureza, mas gosto muito de explorar (daí ser muito adepto do blockchain).
Enfim, bem vinda a estas andanças e qualquer dúvida ou pergunta não hesites. Isto e uma das tecnologias que mais me fascina e que sei que uma dia vai ter muito impacto na sociedade. E só uma questão de tempo, habituação, aprendizagem e desenvolvimento da cultura de envolve este tipos de tecnologias.
PS.: Conheces mais pessoal português que esta no HIVE? Eu não vivo cá mas estou de férias (já só faltam mais uns dias bolas), e tava a ver se conseguia fazer mais ligações com o povo português de forma a poder contribuir para com o meu próprio povo.
Oh my gosh, have I really been MIA (missing in action) that long?!
I'm SO happy to read this. I'm so glad you got through the worst of it.
How is your mental health these days? Today? Are you doing much better?
Love you t-----------h---------i-------s much 💙💚💛