Awesome! "Rendering me dejected as I reach for another serving of my prison!" Ouch! I'm going to have to think twice before grabbing that 2nd cookie after dinner.
I gotta tell ya, I thinks it's really, REALLY well done! I'm not sure the response I had was what you were looking for but...it really made me laugh.
I don't know why. I think the genius of the language you used was so impressive that I just felt joy at reading it. "I carry my happiness there, weighing it down with adipose regret and inadequate sleep" Come on!!! If that's not poetry, what is?!?
Seriously, this is genius! It's like a classic semi-abstract painting where you can see different things at different times in different moods and different people see something completely different. Does that make sense?
It's not comical. It's not sappy. It just IS. Nice!
Thank you for your comment. I really appreciate the kind words. I'm glad it made you laugh. I welcome all reactions to my poetry. They're all going to hit differently for different people. I think Buster Keaton once said "Comedy is tragedy happening to someone else." Not that this is tragic or anything, but I can certainly understand how it could make someone laugh. Thanks again for your comment.