The 3rd, 4th & 5th lines gave me chills. I don't know if it was the intention, but I guess it just matters on how it makes the reader understand and feel the message.
I went on a rollercoaster with this poem, but I really liked it. It rhymed well too, I find that most important on poems for them to have a good impact.
I think that this is the important thing to recognise here and reflect on pieces that resonate with you :)