Hello everyone!
I was chatting with @lizanomadsoul about things, who I really appreciate for always checking on me, and I said that I should probably lower the standards for myself especially when it comes to posting. Finally, I came up with this. I don't know if this is a travel post or not. It probably is because I went to Bantayan Island with my friends, but it's not really for adventure or having fun. It's probably for me to recalibrate my expectations with life and how I should live in it.
I watched this travel vlog on YouTube and I realized why I can't be a travel vlogger. First, you have to be interesting as a person. And I think I'm the least interesting person in the world. Second, you have to have a lot of stored energy and positivity. Guess what, I'm lethargic most of the day and I'm pragmatic at best. I'm surely pessimistic. Third, you have to be the best at what you do. I am the most average and mediocre in this space. It's a fatal combo for a content creator, but it's my reality. Last, you have to be authentic or else, your audience won't resonate with you. I might have a hint of authenticity, but I still worry about what other people think about me. In short, I'm still so awkward in a social setting, including here or in any social media.
I was planning of deactivating all my social media accounts, but I'm sure I will eventually open them again in a month or two. I was planning of leaving Hive altogether, but for some reason I'm still here. For sure, curation for @worldmappin is my last tether in this space, but even that is slowly eaten away by my insecurity. It's very hard to optimistic in a world that's slowly falling apart. I declared in 2023 that 2024 will be my year, but everything went opposite to what I envisioned. I won't be declaring anything for 2025 because I'm already empty. The only silver lining in everything that happened is my sister getting better everyday.
Before this post turns into a trauma dump, let's talk about the travel itself.
This vacation in Bantayan Island has long been planned in the group since Queenie is coming home from New Zealand for her yearly vacation. I was optimistic at first, but due to my sister's hospitalization, I decided that I won't go with my friends because the planned date coincided with my sister's follow-up checkup. I already conditioned myself that I won't be having any travels in the near term as my sister's medications became the first priority. I also got sick together with the whole family, so I was already dejected.
When @glecerioberto organized a dinner for Queenie together with his despidida as he's already set to have his PhD in Singapore, I was convinced by Queenie to join this trip. I was reluctant at first because of my sister's checkup, but the checkup was moved to December 23 instead of December 20. Queenie insisted that she will shoulder all my expenses for this trip. I was again having second thoughts because I was still sick. I didn't have a fever anymore, but my cough was still persistent. It was my sister who convinced me to join this vacation.
For those countries with four seasons, they have winter, but for us in the tropics, it's just sunny or rainy seasons. In the Philippines, it's even always sunny for the most part of the year except when there's a typhoon. On the night before the trip, it rained so hard and there was a low pressure area. I didn't prepare anything because I thought the trip won't be pushed through. I forgot that this group of friends can't be stopped. Rain or shine, Queenie was still optimistic.
For the two days that we were in the island, it was raining or the sky was all gloomy. I thought I would spiral into depression, but surprisingly, I embraced the gloomy weather. I loved it! I felt I needed that weather to rest. As the waves were bigger, the island hopping itinerary was cancelled. We still went to Sandira Beach and Balidbid Lagoon, but that's it. I didn't have any photos of these beaches because I was sleeping somewhere most of the time. Good thing my friends just allowed me to be the most depressing member of the group.
These photos were the only photos I have in this trip. I was even fighting the urge of not taking any photos. Queenie said it's just for clout-chasing so I must take at least a few photos. These were taken when we were strolling along Kota Beach to find something to eat.
I felt like this trip captured my current state. The sea was rough, the beach was littered by sargassum brought by the waves, and the sky was covered by think clouds. But I embraced all of it. "Hang in there, things will get better" or "There's always light at the end of the tunnel", these are the things I always hear from friends. I really appreciate them for being optimistic for me, but I'm not sure if I can say the same.
Strolling along Kota Beach made me realize that I have to go through all these things for reasons I can't still fathom. I didn't even bother asking why. I just conditioned myself to accept whatever comes my way without trying to rationalize everything. I'm also trying make myself accept that there might be no answer to all the questions I have. I don't want to even bother asking questions anymore.
For now I just want to rest because I don't know what comes next. I no longer have the drive to look forward into the future with enthusiasm. Sorry to those who are rooting for me. I don't have that fervor anymore.
Back to the trip, I'm just thankful that my friends allowed me to sleep as much as I can. I didn't even join as much when they were playing cards. I realized how exhausted I was when I slept at a hammock in Balidbid Lagoon while they were preparing for lunch.
I noticed in this trip that Bantayan is no longer the same as it was four years ago. A lot of businesses are popping up and ongoing constructions of hotels or resorts are evident in the island. With the opening of a local airport in the island, for sure there will be a boost in tourism. It usually takes four hours of travel from the city to Hagnaya Port and then two hours of ferry to the island, but with the direct flight from Mactan-Cebu International Airport to Bantayan Airport, you're already in the island in just 30 minutes.
I guess that's all for this post. If your interested about Bantayan, here are my previous posts about the island:
[1] Sunset at Kota Beach in Bantayan Island, Cebu
[2] Definitely Cebu #15: Tour at Oboob Mangrove Garden (Eco-Park), Bantayan Island
[3] Definitely Cebu #14: Bantayan Island Escapade
Kim Ybañez
Welcome to Kim's small corner in Hive. He is a chemical engineer by profession but a blogger by passion. He is a wanderlust and an adventure seeker. Join his quests as he visits remote destinations, climbs mountains, tries new and exotic dishes, and explores his country (The Philippines). He's also a trying-hard photographer, so stay tuned as he shares his photos and his thought process while creating them.
If you like his content, don't forget to upvote and leave a comment to show some love. You can also reblog if you want to. Also, don't forget to follow him to be updated with his latest posts.
Hello Kim :-) I know that after going through a difficult time it's difficult to look at things with optimism again, but you don't have to force yourself to do it either. Allowing yourself to be a bit down is also part of the process on the way to feeling good. You've probably had a lot of stress with your sister's situation so now you probably need some time for yourself. I'm glad you were able to take this trip to this beautiful island, it's quite helpful to see a different landscape to try and change your thoughts. I hope that little by little you will be able to get back on track :)
And as for the vloggers, I completely agree. You have to be very charismatic to succeed in such a competitive world. Besides, you have to be willing to be making videos and talking all the time about what you're doing. A thousand times I'd rather just take some pictures, put the phone away and enjoy the moment. Maybe months later, like now, I sit down to write about what I did, with the certainty that at that moment I enjoyed my trip without thinking that I had to share it on social networks with a lot of work as a content creator.
I send you my best wishes, I hope you have a good end of the year and an even better beginning of the new year ❤️!
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Hi Laura! After what happened to my sister, it's like I would feel guilty if I do something fun. I've set aside myself and made her welfare my first priority. I know it's not healthy, but I just can't help myself. How many times I've tried to be optimistic, but I just can't. So yeah, I agree with you that this is part of the process.
This! It's more enjoyable for me to just snap a few photos and then immediately enjoy the scene. I felt like taking videos is too much work. HAHAHA
Thank you and also sending you the good vibes. Hope you'll have an awesome new year and will continue travelling and pursuing your goals.
I agree! The most important is to enjoy the moment and live it guys and not take pictures and videos. I do the same, pictures and videos only to capture the moment as it is so nice! Writing a post is to relive the memory at some point later or never... the best about exploring is being in the moment <3
It is certainly a travel publication, at least for me. You don't always look for leisure when you travel.
If you allow me I am going to give my opinion on some points of the text, so here you can stop reading from here on, if you prefer.
I think it is good not to always look for answers using reason. Maybe you are on another journey, an inner journey. The answers will come.... It seems to me a very good attitude to be compromising and tolerant with oneself, to sleep and rest without guilt.
I hope to keep reading you here. Best regards.
I don't know how not to self-sabotage. I'm always hard on myself even it doesn't need to be that way. But yeah, to rest and sleep without guilt. Seems like a luxury these days.
All learning requires an apprenticeship, so does learning to love yourself. I wish you all the best for this new year (at least here in Europe, I don't know if we share the same calendar). In any case, my best wishes for the next 365 days.
A big hug @ybanezkim.
Thank you! We use the same Gregorian calendar. Unless you use Julian calendar, but seeing you're from Spain, it's Gregorian calendar.
So, since we share a calendar, I wish you a good year 2025. May you find your own way and happiness.
Hugs.
Happy New Year! Wishing you a good 2025 as well!
😃👋
Hey Kim. I know you had 2 years that were quite tough! but guess what, you are still here and you made it through. Sometimes in life it really sucks and you are really on the bottom.. but that makes you stronger and there will be ups again. So about the first part of your post.
I don´t think you are boring. I maybe don´t know you that well but I know you have lived through a lot of things that many didn´t I know you handled them and I know you love to travel and go out. You are a very nice person with the heart in the right place, you help others where you can and you always strive for the best in you and everyone else! You are unique and not boring at all! Even only the fact that you think about how you want it to be shows how reflective you are! What a great ability! Show us more! - We love you just the way you are with every strength and every weakness - it is human. Who wants perfect?! Perfect is boring 🤓 😜
Well, you had a lot of tough times lately. I think it's only normal that after fighting so much on so many levels, your battery is low and you need some positivity coming in again. Guess what, you have many friends and family there for you and that is because you have been there for them the same way when they needed it. You are always giving your best, so no wonder sometimes the energy is low.. but even then you go on and never give up! that is a high quality!
Who says you have to be the best?! what is the best?! I think as a content curator you can agree with me that "the best" is a very subjective opinion, depending on who is curating and what you like/dislike. - So maybe you don´t like how you do things?! then change it, but be aware it is your own definition of "being best", so you are fighting with your own standards. For someone else, you are maybe already "the best" and for others you will never be. But your "the best" is in your hands 😘 - Don´t be so hard on yourself.
I had to smile at that one as I thought it was a joke first.. You have shown us your inner feelings and self so often this year. That has been so brave and authentic. You don´t only talk about the great things but also about the bad things just the way they are and you are. That is THE definition of authenticity Kim! 😅 - You are a big role model for many of us because you did that. - It's normal that you want others to like you, especially in a place where it's honored by likes.. but the most important is that you like yourself - no matter what others think. - Also nobody knows you like you do, so how can they even have a real picture or real opinion about it that matters?!
As for me and the team. We like you very much. We think you have a lot of experience in traveling and curating and that's why we respect you and are happy to have you on the team. But most importantly you are a great person and part of our family <3
As for the trip! I agree with @lauramica. It is not always about the destination, it is about going out and see something new. And honestly - I love that place! It looks very nice! I am very jealous. here it is very cold and winter - I would love to be on the beach now, f with you guys feeling the sand, watching the ocean and having some drinks there talking about life <3
I don't know where to start with this! All I can say is: Thank you for everything that you have done for me! You were always there when I felt like I was spiraling down to oblivion. You never failed to check on me. You keep on reminding me to look at the positive side and celebrate my small wins. You have been very patient in reminding me about the good qualities I have when I don't see them. I really appreciate you, Liz!
Happy New Year! And like I said: To start celebrating small wins in 2025.
It is my pleasure @ybanezkim26😘 I also appreciate you as a friend. Happy New Year and to the small wins 🥂
Hey Kim, I can't imagine how you are feeling, and what your world is like at this moment, but having lost my brother a little over a year ago, I do have a bit of an idea about feeling bad and seeing your world falling apart. I can't make any promises about things getting better, and getting through all this, or about any timelines. I can only tell you that it is definitely a possibility that it will. Keep it up!
!ALIVE
!MMB
!BBH
!STRIDE
!HOPE
I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. No one's really prepared to lose a love one. Things will really get better. Maybe not really more about moving on, but learning to live with grief and loss. So I'm still banking on that.
Yep, still rooting for you my dear friend @ybanezkim26 😊 it is a travel post.
So good to see you post and hear your sister is getting better every day.
So sorry everybody got sick. Hope you all recover soon.
I fully understand all can be hard and you lose interest in many things. It so sounds like you need to rest more take time for you. Try not to think too much what others think. Don't put to many obligations onto yourself. Life does already.
Look inside of you. You will find your spark again. For all there is a right time.
Sending you much love, positive vibes and strength to get through all of it. 🤗🤗
Thank you so much, my friend! I really wanted to have a proper travel soon. But for now, I'll focus on my sister's recovery first and then my welfare next. Thank you so much for the continued support even if I don't post as often.
You are so welcome @ybanezkim26 🤗
Sounds like a plan. Try to combine both a little though. You are important too, you can better take care of her if you feel a bit better too 😉
Anytime, don't worry. It doesn’t matter how often you post. We are around.
!LUV
Thank you! I really appreciate you in this space. It's great to have people who are rooting for you even if you haven't met yet. Hope to meet you somewhere, sometime. If not in this life, maybe in the next. HAHAHA
You are welcome. Thanks, that is wonderful to hear 😌
Hope to meet you too somewhere, someday. It would be great!
Big !HUG
Your content is always very genuine and thought-provoking, I'm sure people value your sincere perspective. I find your posts very authentic and I think you are an interesting person and you could be a vlogger if you want to, of course, if you feel like it. I understand you're feeling a bit pessimistic right now. You're going through tough times and these feelings are completely normal. But I'm sure you'll get through this period. It's great news that your sister is getting better! This is a sign that everything will be alright. I believe everything will get better for you. Take care 🤗
Thank you! I really appreciate this. Good thing my posts resonated with you. I was actually reluctant at first in sharing the not-so-good parts of my life in here, but it's a good thing people was able to relate.
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This is in my bucket list! Hope to visit Bantayan Island soon.☹️❤️
You should go the soonest when it's not yet that main stream. The island will get more expensive as the years go by.
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Bantayan has been on my bucket list since forever <3
You should start allocating your Hive earnings to visit the island soon! Perhaps this summer?
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Thank you so much!
It's totally paradise 🥺😍
(17/500)
@ybanezkim26! @borniet believes in Maximum Mutual Benefit, and wants to share that with you! so I just sent 1e-06 MMB to your account on behalf of @borniet, who will also receive the same.
Island scenes were really enjoyable. You had a great time here. May your times always be well spent.Respect for you🤝👏🤝🤝
Laban lang jud. Nadayon jud diay ka. Hahaha. Take all the rest you need, Kim. There's nowhere to go but up. Syaro naman sad. 😅
Wag ako, GB. Rock bottom is nowhere to be found.