Punday Monday 249 is finally here!

in Comedy Open Mic3 years ago

Welcome to Punday Monday!

We’re now posting in Comedy Open Mic: https://peakd.com/c/hive-164166/created, and thanks to @amirtheawesome1, the winner will receive 2HBD from them!

tl;dr

Make a pun about the topic of the week,
This week’s topic is Bad Internet Connection.
Here's how to make a pun, if you don't know: https://peakd.com/contest/@improv/puns-and-prizes-learn-to-pun-easy-fun-anybody-can-be-a-hit-at-parties

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New To Punday?

Pull up a stool, order a spiked PUNch, and get to know some of the regulars. I'm your PUNtender, @improv.

How To Make a Pun

This contest is open to everyone. Here's a handy dandy guide on how to make a pun: Learn to Pun

Rules for the PUN-test:

  • If you hope to win a prize [1 100% upvote per punster, 1 HSBI for a win, 2 HBD for the winner from Comedy Open Mic thanks to @amirtheawesome1], your pun must be your original work
  • Puns must be relevant to the topic of the week to win a prize, but they can be very loosely related.

Last Week's Punday Monday:

Here is last week's Punday Monday, and all the puns that were eligible to win this week are in the comments!

Hang on to your PUNderwear. The Winner of This Week's PUNday Monday Is...

OH, WAS THAT NOT ENOUGH POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE FOR YOU?

How’s THIS:

DRUMROLL PLEASE…..

It was a very distant relationship to the topic, but I’ll allow it. This week's winner was @kennysplash for “make hens meet”

This Week's Pun Topic Is:

Bad Internet Connection
As in,
Ugh, I hate my wifi network - It’s thin as a 2d video game character’s buttwipes! That must be why I call it TP-Link

I'm So Good at Puns

If you've never punned before, it might seem like magic! You can do it, too! Learn how in My Free How-To Guide on Punning!

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Flavor Flav could never get great internet connection speeds.
Because he was always Hy Ping!

Old man disclaimer: Sorry if you don't get the reference. Look up Public Enemy.

I named my raspberry pi flavor Flav because it is always over clocked!

I'm too old, I just don't get the ping reference!

A high ping or latency means you have a slow internet connection.
Flavor Flav is known as a hype man.

The wifi connection was in the toilet again so I asked who in their right mind put it there?

My wife says I have a drinking problem, but I tell her it's because I can't get good reception at home-i need at least 3 bars

Oh thanks! Here's one for the week..

Even the trees are complaining of the bad internet. I guess they are trying to log in.

You wanna know what bytes more than bad internet connection?...Not being able to surf the whole weekend for a new beach board.

"Hey man, what is this we are drinking??"
"It's some sloe gin I made last fall with just a hint of vanilla. How do you like it?
"Well, it works a hell of a lot faster than my wifi. So, yeah, skål"

I got the fastest wifi router that money can buy... It cost me 5g's

I saw an empowering all-female punk group last night on an Internet stream. They were truly one of the fastest musical groups I've ever seen. Keep an eye out for them, they were called "The Broad Band."

I love how we can connect with anyone in the world with www, in the LAN before time, we did things locally

When my musical group plays streaming concerts online, we have to zoom out and pull the camera back for a wide shot. We can't all fit on the screen because we have problems with our band width.

Someone complained about bad internet connection as he said there is no fast internet today. His colleague replied by opening windows because it comes with a fast wind

My friend has a topic to search, he is now updating the page, waiting for it, he slept a whole night and when he wakes up the page is still updating progress☺️

the worst thing is that you have good connection signal and page takes 2 minutes to be refreshed

Your friend connects to the Internet through a coffee shop, he has a great connection quality, beside it, the mode is slow. He asked him why, and he told that the owner of this cafe had known me for a long time

My internet connection is so slow, I don't know wifi-do's Chewy order hasn't arrived yet--it's like the site is stuck on a cobweb!