Oh my freaking god, this was absolute brilliant. There's no way I will respond by telling you my own carrot and zucchini (and tap, I see what you did there) stories as that would be embarrassing. I know this feeling oh so well.
Now, there's no way I would talk about these kind of things on HIVE because that would be ... um... embarrassing, but I have to match your wee story with a poo story, only from the other day. Nothing awful or anything, but I had the most amazing poo! I felt euphoric and sooo relaxed. It had to be a thing, right? But how do you google it? Poo gasm? Anyway, I found out there was such a thing called POOPHORIA! LIKE EUPHORIA, BUT WITH POO!
I shit you not.
Sorry!
But it affects your vagus nerve which can help you relax... aaaah. I mean, I don't always have such amazing poo experiences, but at that moment in time, it was better than sex with a carrot!
In massage school I had to memorize the ten cranial nerves, and one of the pneumonic devices I used to help me remember where they were and what they did was "vagus rhymes with anus" (I didn't come up with that but of course I would remember it). I've read studies that hypothesize that some hallucinogens affect the vagus nerve, and that's why you trip out, feel euphoric, and sometimes shitpiss your pants. Well, they didn't say shitpiss your pants. I figured that part on my own.
Poogasm sounds fantastic! Option two, if the panties don't start working...
Ahaha I never needed a mnemonic for vagus, but love that some people are going around mantra'ising that! That's brilliant.
Ahhhh you can keep poogasm for free!