A lot of people don't know me as a uniform personnel. Unless you see me dressed in my uniform you can hardly tell I am a uniform personnel. I remember when I first got the job, I refused to pick up my appointment letter because I was in love.
My father had to call a family meeting and announce to them that I don't want to pick up my appointment letter because of love and the family asked to know who the unfortunate lover was😄. Funny enough, the relationship died before I finished my six months induction training.
The first time I drank alcohol was as a uniform personnel. In the fourth month of training, we were paid three months' salary at once and some guys decided it was time for us to flex. I hung out with my crew and everyone ordered a bottle of alcohol except me. They wouldn't let me drink malt and so they ordered a bottle of Smirnoff ice for me. I told them severally that I have never tasted alcohol but they encouraged me that there is always a first time. Half way through the bottle I was laughing hysterically. By the time the bottle was empty, I had dozed off on the table. One of them had to carry me home.
My first time drinking alcohol wasn't as bad as my second time. My second time I tried to prove that I could finish two bottles of Smirnoff ice. I wanted to be a bad girl. Some colleagues from a sister agency had taken me out for some barbecue and the fish was so delicious that I told myself two bottles of Smirnoff ice was perfect. I don't know how I got back home but the story I heard the next day was that I was desperately begging the one that drove me home to make love to me in my bed.
Being a female officer comes with its perks. The free rides and lots of compliments. I remember during the COVID 19 lockdown, we were dispatched to various stations to enforce the lockdown. I was in charge of a two way street. There were three of us posted there and we were all females. I was the most senior officer but also the only single one. All through the task, I never wore my rank. We would stop and search cars wanting to pass and enquire to know if they meet the criteria of those allowed movements.
Every sachet water truck that passes for delivery must drop a pack for us to taste and make sure it was good water. Every lorry with loaves of bread that passed dropped bread else they won't pass. Each day I went home with so many loaves of bread and bags of water 😄😄. Some days we were lucky to see those supplying other food items like eggs, custard and even women coming from the market with tomatoes and so on. On days like that, I never worried about what to eat when I got home because we arrested enough items to be tasted😜
Giphy
Another funny thing that happened during that period was how we made money. As a young beautiful female officer standing under the sun, most vehicles stopped even before I stopped them. The men would be like,"You are too fine to be standing under the sun. Give me your number so I can call you later in the evening and take you out. Just for you to relax after the day's stress". I would reply that I need to ask my senior if I am allowed to give out my number.
From where I was standing I would raise my voice and call on my other colleague who is my junior. I'll be like, "My Oga (senior colleague), this man wants to collect my number. Should I give it to him?" My colleague would respond, "Be guided. Don't you know you are on duty? How dare you give out a number on duty?😄 Ti which i would respond, "Sorry sir!". I'll then turn to the man asking for the number and tell him to plead with my "Oga* if not no number for him.
The man would say to my "Oga", 'Take it easy now, she is a young girl,let me have her number ". My colleague will think hard and then respond, "Okay but you see,we have been here since morning and we are not smiling under this sun. Drop something for the number "😄😄
That's how some days we would make as much as $60 just from number collection. At the end of the three weeks lockdown, I made a total of $200.
We even had days that some guys brought food for us. One guy was constantly bringing breakfast for us because I promised him that once the lockdown was over I would date him. 😜.
Giphy
After the lockdown was over, my line was buzzing non-stop. My colleagues that shared the money with me were having their peace in their husband's houses.
Life as a uniform personnel has so many funny moments. I hope to continue to share some of these moments with you.
Until I come your way again, this is Week 3 of The COMedy Rumble. Keep rumbling.
Oma, you are the baddest 😂😂. Men self, they will never have sense when it comes to women 😂.
Steady cash out 😁.
Men don't have sense when it comes to a beautiful woman 😄😄😄. I cashed out just for number my dear. I miss those days.
As in ehn 😂.
I can understand 😁.
I got your tip darling. Thank you so much 🤗
You're welcome, please manage it 🙈.
Manage ke? Nothing like manage. God bless you.
Hehehe, thank God say nor be manage oo 😅.
Amen, God bless you too for me😊.
Ah! Fear God o... Didn't you see that the two guys that took her home after she was drunk didn't take advantage? Rate us small na 😂😂🤣😂😂😂🤣
Ewweeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I did not notice you were there 😏.
Wicked you 🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂
😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣
🤣🤣🤣😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂 Orezimena!!! Where do I even start from sef?
Okay, first thing first, I've always admired you in uniform. You are always looking attractive and your smile alone would make someone want to drop their vehicle particulars 😂😂🤣😂😂
You sha collected bread and pure water... Let's just not call it bribe sha 😂😂🤣😂😂😂🤣
Smirnoff Ice dealt with you? I am really thankful to the guy that didn't take advantage of that. Ah. I can't stop laughing. Mine is better o, na bush I enter, I no beg for love making 🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂😂.
I want to try Smirnoff ice, I want to see something. 😂😂🤣😂😂🤣🤣🤣. Let's try it together... I can come to your location or you come to Lagos 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃
I didn't collect bread and pure water. I needed to taste the bread and pure water they were about to supply to the citizens. It is my duty to make sure the citizens are well and safe.😜
Smirnoff ice dealt with me my darling. I also thank God he didn't take advantage of me cos the way he described it eh if I should write it exactly how it happened, church will dismiss 😄😄.
Now Smirnoff ice no longer deals with me o. My brain has adjusted so I'm very game. I'll send my coordinates so you locate me asap. 😄😄
You tasted the bread and pure water yet you took them home 🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂.
Hahahaha Church dismissal straight 😂😂🤣😂😂🤣🤣
I need to find something stronger for you then since Smirnoff Ice won't do it again 🤣🤣😂😂🤣🍷🍹🍹🥃🥃🥃🍸🍸🍾🍾🍷🍷🍹🍹🍾 na mixture go fit you 🤣😂🤣🤣
Omo if you give me mixture na flat out straight 😄😄😄😄 I won't survive it. I have never tasted spirit. What do you think?
😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😂 I guess I've found my weapon for you then. I know what to mix for you... Don't worry, you are safe, even if you beg me for...Erm..you know... I would be a gentleman 😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🥃🥃🍷🍷😘😘🥰🥰🍹🍹🤸🍹🤸🎊💃🎊👏🎊🙌🍹🍹🤸🙈🙈👌👋🤷💕💕❣️🙈❤️🙈❤️🙈💋😘😘🤸🤸🥰😂🥰🤝🤣🤗🕺🥃🕺🍷🤝🍷
I don't know when I bursted into laughter reading this part 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I called the attention of people around me. Lol
You guys are always enjoying on the road oo. Arresting goods and making money. Wow! You don enjoy single life then 😂😂😂
Mehn single life is so much fun. Sometimes I miss it but I am glad I was very adventurous and had enough fun to last me now as a married woman😄😄😄.
Thanks for your lovely comments always ♥️
😁😁 It's okay. At least hubby will be responsible for more fun in the future.
I hope so. I'm still waiting for the adventures 😜
🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂 I love how you said it... Arresting goods and even money 😂😂🤣😂😂😂 just that there weren't cuffs 😂😂🤣😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂 Abi na.
😂😂🤣😂 let's go and get our 10% from her o
Me I wi not say anything sha...
Wait sef, how will you coman taste my hard earned bread because you're a fine looking officer, 😂😂,una get mind o..that how y'all be looting innocent civilians like us...
In my next life I'll make sure to join the police force or military, people go hear am ,😂😂
It is not looting. It is called protection the civil populace. You know there was lockdown. Mischievous bread makers can decide to make low quality and distribute. I needed to taste and make sure everything was alright 😄.
No wahala, next life join the force. You will still see the not so sweet part of it that we are seeing too.
See scope o...😂
You were just enjoying anyhow during the lockdown. Food and money, left-right-center, nawa o.
And we men ehnn...God will help us.
Mehn I was enjoying anyhow o I won't lie 😄😄😄. I was so angry that the lockdown was called off. Infact when we heard that a new lockdown may start again, we were so excited.
As for men, men will always be men 😄😄.
😂😂😂😂 nawa for my gender. On top woman. They are suppose to know when a woman does not have interest in them now.
Lol, Smirnoff ice 😅😂. You slept on drinking it 😅😂😅😂. I don't take alcohol though. Reason is I don't like bitter things but I take Smirnoff ice and Star Raglar 😅😂
My dear, don't blame a man who has been under lockdown 😄😄😄 lockdown can mess with one's mind.
I don't like star raglar. I can't stand the taste but Smirnoff ice, I love. The drink taste like palmwine and I love palmwine. ♥️♥️
Thank you so much for stopping by.
Hahahahhaha! Another great one!!! You're unbelievable!
I am right? 😄😄😄😄😄
Thanks for sharing🐝🍯
Lol....look at men..omg...so you ate exhibit...hahaha...Lock down had nothing on you
😄😄😄 you said I ate exhibit. That got me rolling on the floor. Mehn I enjoyed the lockdown I lie not. It was fun filled for me.
Yay! 🤗
Your content has been boosted with Ecency Points
Use Ecency daily to boost your growth on platform!
Support Ecency
Vote for new Proposal
Delegate HP and earn more, by @olawalium.
Thank you, Ecency.