Thank you @janelle-anderson but the recovery process is really long and I feel like this phase of life never gonna end. Some days are good and I feel good but some days are really difficult to deal with.
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I understand that well @priyanarc, I know the feeling. It's always up and down. Have you listened to other testimonies? It always helped me - you didn't feel so alone and it gave me hope that one day you wouldn't freeze in fear at the obsessive thoughts and they would get quieter that way. You can listen to affected people's accounts here, for example: https://theocdstories.com/