Unconditional love does not mean you don't discipline your child, though. Discipline does not require hitting the child. You must be logical in your punishments. For instance, when my kids gets mean around someone else, I don't hit them (spank them). Instead, I take them to their room and let them know they can come out when they've calmed down. If they rush out, I put them back in and remind them they can come out when they've calmed down. If they keep doing it, I hug them, tell them I love them, then put them back in their room and tell them they can come out when they've calmed down. If they start to destroy stuff, I come inside and tell them, "We're not destructive" remind them I love them, then tell them they can come out when they've calmed down.
It requires time and patience on our side, but I promise you that if parents did this more often, their kids would become much more manageable people. I do not have issues telling my kids what to do around the house. When I ask them to do something, they do it. There are times they push back. When they do, I keep repeating myself until they get the point that I'm not going to back down. The moment you back down, you've just set the reset timer for your kids. They'll keep pushing you until you back down, knowing that you'll back down eventually. If you never back down, there's no reset button. Eventually, they won't fight back because they know you'll stand your ground. My teenagers still fight back (not physically) from time to time. I don't let down my word. Having done this for over a decade, they know when dad says something, he means it and stuff gets done. If I see them struggling, I ask if I can help, even if it is a chore I asked them to do. For instance, I'll tell my child, "I'd like you to go do the dishes now." They may say, "I don't want to!" I respond, "I don't like doing them either, but I need you to go do them now." If they reply, "No, it's not my turn" or some other such nonsense, I respond, "I didn't ask whose turn it was. I said I need you to do them now..." and so it goes. At a certain point, when they start doing the dishes, I'll chime in, "Would you like some help?" even if it has been a pain to get them there in the first place. At times, they'll say, "Yes, please." and at other times, they'll say, "No, I've got this." I try to be fair in passing the duties around, but everyone in my house has to pitch in. I remind them sometimes that their food doesn't land on their plate from nowhere and that their clothes and beds didn't come from nothing. Their contribution is the measly chore they do that takes a few minutes a day.
Unconditional love has conditions that dictate how they should act, but not whether they are loved.
Yes you are right @bobthebuilder2, I don't hit my son but that doesn't mean I don't scold nor punish him. I'm doing what you said and as I said in my comment. My son listens to me out of fear, he only listens to me and me alone even though I haven't spanked him not even once.
For me unconditional love is to love without condition, it doesn't mean you don't discipline your child but to love them no matter what happens. If they grow to be a criminal then I will still love him. It doesn't mean I will tolerate what he does. As a father it is our duty to guide our children well that's for me personally. We have different views on how fatherhood/parenting should be done. I was once a battered child that is why I don't want my son to experience the trauma. I don't want my son to have the same relationship as my father. Me and my father, we don't talk and I don't care about him at all. I don't want my son and me to be like that. I want to be my sons best friend in the future so whenever he has problems he can come and talk to me. It doesn't mean I'm spoiling him by giving him what he wants. I just want to be there for him like any friend that cares for you would.
My grandfather acted as my father and my best friend when I was growing, that is why I also want my son and me to be like that. I can tell whatever problems I have to my grand father and he would always give me the best advice in the world. He taught me more than any father would and I love that. When he died I felt lost and almost went crazy as the only person who would listen to almost any problem of mine have died. I have no one else to talk to now, but then I thought I'm a man now and it's time to repay the favor. It's my time to listen and to teach now, so I'm teaching my son all the time, I don't know if there are times he gets annoyed by me always talking and teaching him how to be become a real man in the future but that's what I do almost every single day.
Anyway thanks for your detailed comment. I'm pretty sure you are a great father and I hope you continue to be. Love your children no matter what. Cheers mate