Ever heard the phrase "be careful what you wish for"? Ever sit and think negative thoughts? Do you just get scared at the thought of something or feel a cloud of fear loom over you?
A lot of things occupy our mind as we get older. From kids who had no worries to teens who feel the need to belong; to be "it". Then we go ahead and cross to adulthood where we feel inadequate because we haven't achieved or conquered our dreams.
This comes with a deep sense of regret and guilt. Two dangerous diseases of the mind that do nothing but eat you up slowly, you find yourself wishing for a lot of things but not taking the step to achieve it. You become the victim in your head and everyone played the witch.
The worst part is, we begin to chase relief. Making wrong decisions that could have dire consequences. We forget every other thing just because we want to feel again and go back to those days of complete innocence.
However, that isn't possible. We can never go back in time but we can let the shackles of the past hold us down from reaching for the stars of the future.
All around the world, over 80% individuals battle with depression. Mostly youths. Why is this? Why do the leaders of tomorrow have to be brought down before they even start?
I got my answer when I was chasing my relief. I was desperate to move on from that mind numbing disease that only made me feel guilty all the time. Waking up feeling nothing every morning, going back to bed with a tight knot in my chest, looking to blades to feel a little bit of anything. Pain was good enough.
However, I realized I couldn't always live like that. I don't have to. I realized I've been dealing with my idle mind.
There's a popular quote, "an idle mind is the devil's workshop". This is true because when you fail to feed your mind with content, something else would do it for you and it is not always good.
Your one assignment is to not waste away as a human being. You have a definite purpose and the reason why most people are always depressed is because they don't know what they are living for!
You can't experience true happiness until you have specific details of who you are and what you carry.
As we get older, we learn more and every information could build or break us.
I read a post by @chincoculbert and found it coincidental that he talked about something I bore in mind as well. However, I am well aware we can't make depressed minds feel better because it is not our place to. It is only them who'd decide they want to be free. And you have no idea how difficult that is. Making the conscious decision that you would get up on your feet and own up to your actions is a lot more difficult than we think. Passing through life without light in our eyes has become the norm because we don't care what happens. We don't have to take charge, something else does. We don't have to own up because someone else does and we go on ahead to blame the universe for our "bad luck" that nothing goes our way. We decide to live in a world of fantasies and get crushed when they don't become reality. Why? We have become weak minded!
The first step out of a "weak" or "depressed" mind is acknowledging that you are weak. Many depressed people especially teens feel they are strong and more mature because they have experienced bad things. Fact, someone else has experienced worse! So you're not the only victim.
Two, take that first step. It's just like going to the gym for the first time. Your body would not perform at its peak because it has never taken on such assignment. It would protest but that is where you discipline it. Same with your weak mind. Take that step and decide to own up to your actions. Be responsible. Say it to yourself, "it's nobody's fault. I am like this because I chose to. I am weak because i chose to be. And now, I choose to be strong. I accept responsibility."
Fact is, everyone has a choice no matter what. We can't keep lying to ourselves and saying "had this not happened..."
Even if it had not happened something else will. Everything that happens isn't your fault but it becomes your responsibility to overcome.
Three, do away with them. Do away with those tools that foster your weak mind. It could be friends, books, even music. Sounds play a deep role in our lives. If you're going to be great, you need to have an excellent mind. The leaders you look up to, Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, do you think they became who they are by wallowing and listening to the wrong sounds? Hell No! They cut off a lot of links. A lot. They made huge sacrifices. So what's stopping you?
"They are the only friends I have".
"His/her songs resonate with me a lot. I can't delete them."
Okay then. Firstly, friends are supposed to build. I can't be weak and my friend is weak. Ultimate disaster recipe. Toxicity at it's peak because they'd pull you down rather than climb with you. Crabs is what I call them.
You become what you surround yourself with.
Those songs make you feel accepted. Fine. But why keep listening to them? Because you "feel" accepted. Yes. You like that you're weak and other people are too so you don't feel the need to change it. That's really bad because you'd end up really badly.
Four, pick up the pieces. Take your time to heal. But not too much. You'd feel a sense of loss and it's okay to grieve. Your going through the growth process. Sit down, take a deep breath(let the tears fall if you have too). It would be really hard. I'm speaking from experience. You'd feel worse and the strong desire to give up and go back to being the nobody you were would come on you.
That's your second test! Your weak and excellent mind are now engaged in a battle. It's now a battle of wills. Which would you give your life to? Would you just "forget it" and go back to being mediocre? Or would you own it and look towards the great future that awaits you?
You may have drifted away from family or people who truly cared about you; caused a lot of hurt and pain. Apologise. I remember this episode with my mom. I got to this stage and immediately went back to my mom. Apologising sucked the air out of me because I was damn scared of being rejected. But I needed to try. I just had to.
"If you really want to succeed, you need an excellent mind."
A depressed person can never achieve anything. You'd never be able to because "what's the use"?
Five, Feed your mind. With positivity. Get self help books or see a shrink if you have to. Begin to plan your life from the beginning. You'd feel totally strange or awkward. But it means you're doing the right thing.
Lastly, acknowledge there is someone above you. No matter who you are, when you acknowledge there is a reason for life, it all begins to make sense. My turning point was acknowledging God did exist.
There is no greater feeling than that of knowing that there is a supernatural being to whom we take our problems to.
You have to be clear that you did not just jump into life. It wasn't science that made every bit of you.
You need to acknowledge you were created for a purpose and it's your job to find out what it is. How? Simple. Ask yourself, what is my passion? What is it that keeps me on my toes? What gives me drive? Could be music, writing, hiking, sports? Whatever it is, "how can I use this for my benefit and that of others" should be the next question. Your mind would immediately provide the answer.
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Finding Your purpose is the hardest thing ever to be honest because we get distracted by a lot of things in life.
It is hard...but no good thing ever comes easy
Very true.
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This is a long read and definitely worth it. Thanks for sharing this piece. Indeed you become what you surround yourself with and so we must be careful of what we surround ourselves with. It's only an excellent mind that will make one succeed.
And so, no matter how depressed you are, always know you are the only one that can get yourself out of that depression.
Yes. Responsibility is a must
Thank you, @deraaa - this post must have taken a lot to write.
In terms of feeding your mind, what do you read? It would be interesting to compare.
Annabelle 😊
Well, I read a lot of Spiritual and Goal oriented books. Mind books and attitude transformation.
You can check out
The power of your subconscious mind by Joseph Murphy
The Power of your mind by Chris Oyakhilome
No excuses: the power of self discipline by Brian Tracy
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck
My favorite books right now. I'm currently reading one titled Goals by Brian Tracy.
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You talk of walking through life without light in our eyes. And this is a sad indictment of so many peoples' experiences of living in the world. One of my friends had a son who from a young age simply struggled to find his place in society and in the world as we know it. He always told her (and I paraphrase): "Mom, I don't belong here. I am trying to find my way...and I have tried...but I need to tell you that one day...one day it will be too much. It will be enough. And I will choose to leave it forever. And when that day comes. I don't want you to be sad. Because there is nothing more that you or Dad could have done for me. " He escaped into alcohol and drugs. I met him during one of his sober times and he was a kind gentle sensitive soul. Perhaps too sensitive for our world. Some years later, he called him Mom up and asked for her to meet on on his favourite beach, just to sit and spend time together. The next day she received the call that he had taken his life. I do believe that for some they truly cannot find their way when they look outwards and the only way out, the only crack of light in the doorway they see, is the one inside, the escape through distraction and finally through the finality of death. I do hope and pray that more people can find support amongst their peer groups, can find acceptance in their life choices, and can carve out their own little niches where they can savor at least a little of the light and comfort that they seek so that their souls don't have to live in despair and searing pain with each waking day. I wish you love and hold out my hand sincerely to you in friendship🙏😘