Just about an hour or two ago, my neighbor was telling me about someone she's come to trust within a short time. My jaded nature was very fidgety as she spoke. I don't really understand the full context of trust because sometimes I'm like...
Meh, i saw it coming when they do what I expected them to do and I wonder in the moment, did i truly trust the person? Trust is a vouch of confidence right?
I only trust one person currently and she's the one who gave me life. She's constantly proved her loyalty to me and would come through rain or sunshine. No one is as strong a pillar as she is. I got to analyze this just a few weeks ago while I enjoyed a cup of coffee and my mind wandered as it always does.
Just like you pointed out, I don't always go in the right direction but I trust that I can be honest to myself. Frankly, that's painful. To be brutally honest with yourself and not give excuses or live in the safety nets of your fragile mind; being... I'm trying to get the right word. Like, you're not really what you believe you are and deep down you know it, that you have a long way to go. Yep. Hurts like hell. I see why some people would rather lie to themselves and just relax on the cushion of small achievements. The truth is, if I don't skin myself with the fiery blade of truth, I don't think I can be trustworthy; with anything or anyone.
It can be difficult to be totally honest with oneself and I'm not sure if anyone really achieves it. We fool ourselves all the time, in little ways and sometimes much bigger ways. Let's say, an over weight or diabetic person convincing themselves that a little more cake won't be bad for them. It's a lie they tell themselves and so, they can't say they've always been totally honest right? It's the same as when a person talks around issues they know exist in a relationship and then decide to stay in it. I think that one happens all the time.
I actually think we're all in this position, none of us are, or will ever be, perfect. So, I think the honesty aspect comes in the form of understanding that we're a work in progress, always. As long as we're working in the right direction I think it's all we can ask of ourselves.
I could be wrong though. I often am.
Ha! Story of my life ...🤣