they cannot be forced on me by someone else, because - demand avoidance
ohhhhhhhhh.
something just clicked with the "demand avoidance" as seeing it placed in the context you just articulated as you did here.
(I didn't look too far into the concept and didn't particularly feel inclined to self-diagnose, though see why it came up in the same conversations now. and whether going so far to self-inquire further and slap another label on myself or not, definitely see insightful refections in that single sentence as you structured it.)
😮