I was reading an article that I found interesting from the UK, where parents were charged with the manslaughter of her child due to letting her be too obese. The girl was 16 years of age and suffered from spina bifida, making mobility difficult. However, this is something that I think is going to become more prevalent in the future, where failure by parents to meet adequate dietary needs will be punishable.
If a parent doesn't provide enough food and a child is malnourished and starving, it is already punishable, but I haven't heard of the opposite end of the spectrum, where the outcomes of too much and the wrong foods are being punished, even though this is also malnourishment - bad nutrition. And, while the child might not be starving, the impacts on a child's life from obesity and the associated problems that arise with it, can be severe and profound.
Nutrition affects everything we do, including the way we think and because it impacts on our hormonal system too, it also does a lot to the way we feel. And often, the types of foods that create obesity, are going to cause the emotional rollercoaster to be more volatile, with mood swings, depression common, as well as inability to concentrate and retain information. These factors affect other behaviors and relationships we have too, which can have profound impacts on the experience of our life and, the impacts we make on others, which can create a cyclical loop that can have a lot of negative consequences, as it reinforces some of our poorer behaviors, often driving us to compulsive behaviors, like overeating.
While I am interested in this, a lot of people try to hijack the conversation as if it is about body shaming, but that is not the argument at all - it is about general health now and the impact it makes on our future experiences, including our future happiness. In a world where we blame many of our adult issues on our parents, it seems only natural that this will extend into how our parents attended to our health, including the way they have fed us.
As a parent myself, I have to come to terms that I am going to blamed for a lot of things, whether it was within my control or not, but I also have to accept that I am accountable for my child and while not all health outcomes are under my control, a lot of the dietary factors are. What I feed my daughter and how I encourage her eating habits are things I need to consider, and if I neglect to learn and handle them well, I am neglecting her. At some point, overfeeding and poor nutritional content becomes child abuse, in the same way not feeding a child is abusive.
It is hard to see emaciated children abused by their parents, and I don't understand why there isn't a similar reaction to overweight children who are also abused by their parents. It seems like a double-standard, because while the parents are held accountable for child abuse on one end of the extreme, they are not accountable on the other, although going on the case of the 16 year old mentioned, it seems that the tide is slowly turning.
But, with the majority of people overweight or obese in this world, I am not sure what will actually come of it, as the pressure seems to continually be heading in the other direction. People are demanding "normal representation" not healthy representation in things like magazines, with normal being an average of populations that have 70% overweight and 40% obese.
However, knowing what kinds of impacts obesity has on the body, mind and experience of the individuals, and knowing what kinds of issues it has on children, including their social experience, it seems that something has to change. Rather than continually moving the goal posts of what is considered normal, there needs to be a definition of what is healthy that is wide enough to allow for variation, but narrow enough that there is a line that can be drawn on both sides of what is abusive behavior.
Now, I am not a big fan of government intervention, but this is also a social cultural issue, which complicates things further, as there are going to always be many opinions on what is considered healthy or happy. Yet, when it comes to parents who are assumed to want the best for their own children, the weight conversation seems to get avoided on the upside of the scale. Anyone who does bring up the conversation is shouted down and punished for body-shaming or not factoring in "unique" attributes of individuals, or their personalities.
I can only go on my own experience, but I have been physically healthy, extremely skinny with illness and somewhat overweight. Being skinny was horrible, and being somewhat overweight is quite uncomfortable, and I can't imagine what it would actually feel like to be obese, but I can't imagine it would be "better". If we could magically click our fingers and be our personal perfect weight, I wonder what that would actually look like. I would imagine that based on my discomfort now, I would likely end up being about 10 kilos lighter and perhaps for some people, they would be a little heavier. But, out of 7 billion people, what percentage would be obese?
If looking at "general wellbeing" as the metric and having that spread across physical, psychological and emotional sectors, our weight is only a piece of the equation. But pretending that it isn't an important piece of the equation is folly, because the processes that go into developing obesity have implications on all three of those areas, in the short, mid and long term view of each. It is hard to know what is driving what in terms of the three, but it is clear that there is a correlation between the three, where when one of the sectors is out of sync, it impacts on the others.
Personally, the best I have ever felt across the three has been when my physical condition has been good, because when I feel physically well, I am more open, active and willing to engage with the world around me. I wish I felt physically healthy all of the time, because it really does make me a better person, which is why I don't understand how parents would encourage and even impose, unhealthy habits on their children, and apparently, still believe they have their best interest at heart. But obviously, I am quite naïve in this area at least and I am sure that someone will set me straight as to why encouraging children to be obese is a good thing for the child.
But, the conversation does open up a lot of questions in many areas of parenting and perhaps starts to explore the question of what is good parenting and what is bad, and where is the line where it becomes abusive. All the parents I know want to be good parents and most seem to believe that they are, but are they really considering the wellbeing of the child, or is "good parenting" doing what is socially acceptable, regardless of the outcomes for the children?
If you saw a child, with bruises all over their body and face - would you assume abuse? If they were very thin - would you assume abuse? Why is it not the same if the child is obese?
I don't know what a good parent is, but the outcomes of the child has to be considered a factor.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
I personally don't think it has anything to do about body shaming..
I think people should start getting a backbone and face the situations that we need to face instead of throwing sugar over everything... We need people to be blunt again. And harshly blunt. People need to hear what they need to hear... If you fucked up, well you fucked up.. Take the hits and learn from them..
But society now a days, you see the kid gets left alone to do what they please... The parents who aren't watching over her or rather who didn't watch over her was probably obese themselves. Therefor there must have been a lack of care and a lack of interest. Which I believe the parents should be blamed for.
Yes, I agree with this. Real issues first, not the cultural lifestyle issues that so many seem to focus their attention on.
This a very touchy topic. My kid does not enjoy a lot to eat proper hot meal. That's the habit he developed at daycare (i believe). It is of great importance for me to take care of my kid and encourage him to eat healthy. Not sure how that will shape up in the future. I can be charged for negligence but why would I neglect my kid.
It is touchy indeed and can bring up some pretty emotional reactions. The intuition for many is that parents will do their best, but I am not sure that is the case, as like most of the things we do, we often work on habit and convenience, knowing better than we are knowingly doing.
It is an interesting topic to consider as a parent though.
That's also true. There are certain things I do out of habit and convenience which may or may not be good for the kid's proper up bringing. Good point.
It is hard to catch them all, as they feel so natural. But, there are some we can perhaps affect quite easily, but choose not to.
This is an extremely interesting read. I might get flak for this, but every time I see an overweight child, I cannot help but question if it is from illness or if the parents are simply allowing their child to overeat/eat unhealthy. It is interesting to read that there is now legal cases.
I am not sure where it will lead and I assume that in the end, it will be worse for everyone, but still, it needs to get discussed, especially now there is so much data on the outcomes.
I see some parents around me who give chocolate, fast food, fries, juicy to ther kids from the early ages, and those parents consider themselves well-informed about raising kid.
Yes. It is a common misconception that "parent knows best" - all are average and that also means, that half of them are below average too.
Wow this topic is really inspiring..
I know too much of everything is bad but i dont want to sound rude or better still body shame obsessed parents and then some of their kids mostly take that size from them because most of them doesn't really care as long as the child eats alot like them..
I hope such parents will be thought how to manage and control the diets of their kids , because it later comes back to hunt them while they grow up.
There are genetics involved, there are also just bad habits :)
I don't think parents doing this intentionally, they should be guided but not punished
Nobody like see his child unfit and unhealthy
It depends. With all the information out there, as well as the education they have received (in many places) - shouldn't they be at least attempting to change the behaviors?
Oh boy. Where to start. I can write thousands of words on this topic and I will be trolled and cancelled 😓
Parents don’t know what they don’t know, teachers can’t teach what they don’t know education system don’t teach the truth.
Food pyramid is upside down, butter is actually good for you, carbs and sugars are toxins, seed oils are inflammatory, artificial sweeteners are poison.
Calorie counting don’t work, micronutrients are becoming more and more scarce in the mass produced foods.
Then there is socioeconomic issue, keeping the belly full is what’s expected doesn’t mean children from some families are getting what they need to grow up healthy, instead myriad of health problems and inflammation inside out.
Who knew fasting is the quickest way to detox the body and let the body heal itself? Going hungry while hydrated for 1-3 days is actually good for health.
Funny isn't it? Yet, no one gives a crap about the future of these kids.
There are so many things that can be done, yet just imagine the average person fasting - that feeling of discomfort of being hungry just won't be acceptable for the on-demand, Netflix world in which we live.
You hit the nail on the head, squarely.
Education is key!
We all want to be good parents, but, many do not realize they are uneducated in this area. How many really know what good nutrition consists of? Regardless of the fact they have probably taken it in school, on a different level, I wish parents were educated in some of the more important things in their child's life when they have a baby.
They give you classes when you buy a pet.
But even a basic level of nutrition should be somewhat common sense, right? I mean, becoming obese takes work, it isn't an overnight thing.
It isn't an overnight thing. You are right about that.
Even if you ate improperly, if you were out playing like a child, you would be outside running and playing, yes? You wouldn't be gaining weight.
You might think they have common sense, and even if they didn't, becoming obese isn't overnight and you may see it, but not see it for what it is.
The subject is certainly delicate but of widespread and topical interest. I believe that a correct culture from a nutritional point of view is important as nowadays obesity is becoming more and more widespread; on the other hand, attention should also be paid to those situations in which, on the contrary, one is unable to bring a dish to the table, but that is another issue. In any case, I am against any abuse and I personally do everything I can to prevent it from happening, especially when it comes to children.
I'm not a parent therefore I can't speak from different experience, but if I were, do everything in my power so that my children can feel good and have a fair education in all areas of life, even if the parent's "job" it's not simple and we know that you are not born with an instruction booklet but I believe that in life you can learn from experience and certain things, even if you don't know them, I imagine come naturally; children are the most important thing in the world.
Thanks for the food for thought, and in this case there is so much to think about.
I hug you!
People seem to forget that "feel good" doesn't necessarily mean, be happy right now - lifetimes are periods of time and if feeling good right now is going to lead to years of pain and suffering down the track, it wasn't the right thing to do.
I fully agree, feeling good and being happy among other things can be two different things. Moreover, in general I am for the serenity that is lasting, happiness in itself is something that you experience in moments but it comes and goes.
Cool article, and you made your post very inspiring for all of us.
Skinny and fat (obesity) are both malnutrition problems, as you have stated. In my opinion, this is a serious problem.
The general assumption is that it is still a problem for thin children who don't want to eat, but it is never a problem for children who like to overeat. There are still many parents who are happy when they see that their children like to eat, and they are even happier to serve anything to their children who like to eat.
Parental responsibility? Certainly!
Children are subjects that cannot be held accountable. While they are still children, it is the parents' responsibility to fulfill the best interests of the child. This includes the issue of what food is appropriate and inappropriate for children to consume.
Happy children are easier to handle, at least in the shortterm, so some parents just give them what they want. For others, it is a convenience thing, where it is easier to give the kids junk and keep them happy, than actually spend time caring enough to provide quality.
But, they grow into adults who are held accountable, even though they have been conditioned since childhood to not look after themselves well.
Setting a child on the right path in eating habits, blatantly ignoring children not being fed or over eating both equate to similar end, either are wrong.
Parents are able to make meals interesting and fun learning from an exceptionally young age, it is all about teaching from young, outside influences are where much is going wrong. Advertising of quick meals, convenient sweets, crisps are something of a minefield once children grow up.
Teach them well from as young as you are able, in planting, growing, cleaning from the basics make it a healthy game.
On the weekends, we let Smallsteps (as of this summer) turn the TV on herself and watch some shows (preselected) for a couple hours. I write a note to her to say there is some food in the fridge and draw a funny picture for her on these mornings. The food is some carrot, capsicum, cucumber sticks, with tomatoes and some grapes - or something similar. She loves it.
How we teach from young is what they normally remember and carry through to when they grow up. Everything in moderation with a balanced diet makes for a bright mind and healthy body.
You know, in health school, we usually consider things from both ends of the spectrum, either from the excess end, in this case, overweight (a condition termed overnutrition), or the lacking end, underweight (a condition termed undernutrition).
However, outside the health class, society seems to be more worried about undernutrition and being underweight than overnutrition and being overweight. In fact, being overweight in some parts of the world is considered a sign of healthy living.
However, being overweight or underweight is never in anyone's best interests, hence the need to maintain a healthy weight.
With children being like a "clean slate" (tabula rasa), relying on parents for guidance at the most critical periods of their growth and development, parents need to be more responsible and more knowledgeable.
The most important aspect is assisting parents in learning how to teach their children self-control through personal examples and word of mouth. Parents need to feed their children at optimal levels and avoid waiting until they are full. They have to change the mantle of leadership from the child being the king to them being more responsible for decisions.
Until something is done and parents are more in control and more enlightened, children's health and wellbeing will continue to deteriorate. It even extends more than feeding habits, screentime is also a huge part of the picture.
Yes, because it means there is "nough food" but that is an issue when there is always food available like it is now - and it is 24/7 available too. We live in a weird world.
The other factor is that children aren't clean slates, they are going to suffer genetics too, like craving sweet foods, like us all (nearly) so reinforcing these habits are going to lead down very rough paths.
You've spoken correctly. Nice piece by the way!
If being strict bring something better for kids then why not? But excess everything bad, ideal parenting is challenging. I'm not yet a parent but I saw how today's parents treat their kids and how kids treat their parents. None can be perfect but still we can practice. Childhood obesity sometimes become the reason of being bullied by other kids so parents can provide healthy foods instead unhealthy tasty foods that cause obesity.
Yet, they spend more time punishing the bully as the one doing the damage, and no focus on the actions of the parent.
yes that mostly found!
My wife works with preschool children. One of the problems she sees is that children are neglected by giving them a tablet or phone to play. There is limited verbal communication. And, little is expected of them. By the time they arrive in her classroom at age 3, they are non-verbal, not potty trained, and don't know how to interact with others. Obviously, some children have deeper problems that can be diagnosed and treated. But, many of them only need a little bit of attention and interaction to learn to speak and care for themselves.
It is becoming more common here too. My daughter is 6 now and a lot of the kids in her age group can't do half the things she can. She doesn't have a phone or tablet and has very limited TV time. I see kids in prams shopping trolleys just staring at screens - easy for the parents...
I agree on that letting a child be obese could be considered a form of abuse.
But talking about child's nutrition, there are many sides to this issue. If you look at it from the point of view of parents who have the possibility of giving their children a healthy and balanced diet but prefer to satisfy their whims and allow the child to eat what he/she wants and become obese, there is negligence. But what about the millions of parents who do not have financial resources, and give their children the food they can afford, which is never the healthiest. In that case, I do not think we can speak of negligence, although there is a problem of malnutrition.
The affordability of healthy food is another issue, but related for sure. However, I think that for the most part, to become obese actually is quite expensive, considering the amount of calories that are required, so it is unlikely a case of affordability of better options in many of the current cases at least.
However, the money argument isn't valid for much of the world where obesity is an issue and it isn't an issue around where I live, yet there are plenty of obese children.
When my wife was young, her parents kept getting called into nurses and doctors because they thought she wasn't being fed enough, yet that wasn't the case, she is just very small. However, none of the parents are getting reported for their children being overweight. Why the double standard?
Everything in excess is bad. Moderation is super. This is not only on dietary concern , I feel most parents have lost their children to job and career and to he/she a big boy or girl syndrome. Parents should know their child(ren) even to what they eat, things they do as it concerns their health, academics, social and social media life it doesn't mean over doing but as a guide to ensuring that they remain healthy, happy and responsible.
It's pity the kind of parents we may have in the coming years.
Punishment to the parents would it bring the dead back to life? Would other parents learn the lesson coming from this?
#Selfimprovement
No, but it might course correct if implemented early enough, especially in the places like Finland where children have regular checkups with healthcare professionals.
Hard to say, but most parent's don't abuse their children by underfeeding them, but childhood obesity is on the rapid rise.
Obviously no parent would want to see his child go underfed. But this childhood obesity is a big concern. Over feeding a child is a problem and some parents do care . Taking into deeper consideration what the children eat is wise . Obesity is one and hypersensitivity is another which proper dietary could control to a great deal.
If this is implemented it will be great and routine check ✅ would of a truth do some great deal. Our children health first.
#Selfimprovement
At least here in Canada, for situation you have described, when underprivileged, disabled, or unhappy people who are suffering, medical assisting in dying is expanding, prioritized, and free.
Courtesy of our benevolent party.
This may be a piece of the new world Canada is testing.
We live in an increasingly strange world.
In the Netherlands, it are mostly kids with lower educated parents who are overweight. I often believe that many kids eat what the parents eat. If a parent doesn't take care for his/her own nutrition,they would probably also not do this for their child.
One thing I noticed in some other countries is that they like to give kids as young as 1 year old a lot of sweets because they like it. Their teeth turn black before they are even one year old. That would be Child abuse in holland I believe, but I never heard the same opinion about overweighted kids.
I think so too and it shows.
It would be abuse in Finland too I think - most of Europe I would assume. But you know, overweight kids are privileged, they have food, just think about all the starving... any excuse not to face the truth that it is negative, preventable and shouldn't be a factor in this world, knowing what we know.
This is very interesting and important topic. You are shared with us. The biggest effort of parents in Pakistan is to feed and educate their children well. In my opinion, feeding bad food to children is not punishment, it is spoiling their health. Yes, I can't even imagine that any parent can wish bad for their children. If a child is going in a wrong direction, then the mother explains to the kids that this thing is wrong.
parents lead by example - it doesn't mean the examples are good.
We live in strange times where you can't say anything to fix a problem without someone saying you're infringing on someones right, or you're being politically incorrect. It's infuriating. Aside from the issue with obesity, in the US the homeless problem is out of control. But city's struggle with finding a solution because of groups that believe it's anybody's right to die in the streets if they want. There are people who advise homeless not to go to the hospital in ambulances because they'll get charged. It's unbelievable.
While I have given up on any desire to be a parent of my own, I am very thankful for the heavy-handed ways my mom helped us with food around the house.
To this day, my mom still has a complex that she didn't do enough as a cook, that her food wasn't flavorful, that we didn't have enough to eat. I'm constantly reassuring her that we always had plenty and enjoyed the cooking, but just that she raised a bunch of slower eaters who consume reasonably sized portions. I think when we would have friends over and she would see how much more they ate, it made her feel like she wasn't doing enough.
This is a complicated issue, and we haven't even touched on the accessibility and expense of healthier, whole-food, organic choices. It's rough out there for a parent, but looks like you got your head in the right direction.
This kind of law can only be existent at certain parts of the world but not everywhere. malnutrition is a very big problem we are facing here in Africa and there are still measures put in place to eradicate poverty.
You presented an interesting discussion. Thanks for sharing