And I think this is because I was taught to learn to pass tests, and not learn to get along with the intricacies of dealing with life
This is the failure of generalized schooling where the goal is to raise the averages, not improve the heights.
The problem for parents when they let kids think for themselves is often, they don't like hearing what the kids think. For us, we encourage conversation and negotiation.
PS: Has she now tasted the mangoes? What does she think?
Yes. Had a half tonight and loved it! :D