My girlfriend and I had a similar discussion last night but in relation to relationships. We have both been through some rough relationships and while it's easy to imagine the possibility that perhaps this one will be great and full of opportunities and growth for both of us, it is difficult for us to imagine that it could actually be true. I think of all the good things we could have but then I think "nah, we probably won't" because my experience has been that no one can actually love me and let me love them. She feels similar.
So when it actually does happen, it's mind blowing and almost incomprehensible.
I feel the same about money. I spent years wallowing in debt because my ex spent money like a firehose. Then she left. Now I can pay bills and have enough for some bourbon at the end of the week. I'm still scared that maybe I'm missing something. I can't possibly be comfortable, I don't deserve it.
It is sad isn't it? We go into our relationships carrying all of the baggage that will ruin hem, and even when we know this, we fall onto our defaults anyway...
Ice. ;D
We live in a strange world of personal conflict and I don't see it getting easier to negotiate with. Hopefully it all works out for all of us.