You're on your own.
My wife was talking with her best friend the other day about their parents and various things happening in the world and the conversation led into inheritance. Her friend is a professional, as is her husband and they are both earning well. They have two kids, a house they bought from her parents and recently a summer place that they are renovating.
The conversation was on what happens when their respective parents pass, as both sets of parents have two children each also, meaning that an inheritance would be split. She was saying that whilst they feel a little over-extended at the moment (only a little), they know that in the future, they are going to inherit significant amounts from their parents, which means that they will be completely debt free at that point regardless.
As my wife was walking home, she realized that we don't have that situation, as while there likely will be something coming from her parents, there is nothing coming from mine at all, since they have already both passed and left nothing but memories. She realized that while she knew this earlier, she hadn't really considered how big of an impact it makes on us, because unlike her friend, we can't afford to take the risks, because there is far less safety net.
Of course, I have always known that there would be no inheritance for me, because that was never in the cards given the family I have. As such, I have had to rely on myself, which is probably part of why I have the work ethic I do, because if I can't cover it, I don't have it. There was never a time in my adult life where my parents supported me, or passed me a little extra cash when I was short. I'd just have to cutback and have less.
This was especially true once I came to Finland, so my life here has been built from the ground up - or should I say, the suitcase up. I came with a suitcase of the wrong clothes and a couple thousand dollars, which was spent on a crappy, crappy car, so I could take more work out of town, that people without cars couldn't take.
And it is because of this that I probably feel the sense that if people who are struggling financially work a bit harder, they could improve their situation, because I did. However, while I also logically know that there are other factors in play that can hold us back, I do think we can all improve our behavior in some way, therefore improving our outcomes.
And, for me, one of those things is an attempt to maximize opportunity for my daughter. And by this, I don't mean make her path easy and smooth and give her everything. Instead, I want her to have the resources available to her to feel that she can take some risks in life and if she is willing to learn and work hard, use the resources she has at her disposal to improve her opportunities further than I can with the resources I have.
Compounding interest doesn't just compound for life, it compounds across generations too, which is a big reason why the rich get richer. However, regardless of the starting point, we are all able to find ways to use what we have to improve our lives at the micro level, even if the macro view is a shambles. And, I believe that those of us with children should do our best to provide them with the tools that help them make the most out of their lives. After all, it isn't like life is going to be getting easier for them, so the "my parents gave me nothing and I was fine" attitude might be less relevant in todays world.
It is not that it is impossible to come from nothing, but it is likely getting increasingly hard, especially since there is more consolidation in many industries, so the vast majority of value goes to an increasingly small minority. What that means is that for individuals, it is harder to build a business model to compete, no matter the industry they choose.
There are new opportunities in emerging fields however, but in order to really dive into those, you have to be willing and able to take the risks and that often means, being able to survive through the early lean times. This is no easy feat and even after those times, it doesn't suddenly translate into wealth. However, having that little bit of background support financially, as well as people who encourage the attempt, can make all the difference. It might not even require that much, or some lumpsum, but something can help.
And it is more than the direct financial support that helps, because most likely, the parents who are able to leave their children an inheritance, can do so because they have built the habits to generate and hold the value. This means that throughout childhood, the kids are more likely to have financially stable role models to learn from. Sure, this doesn't mean that the parents don't fail in other ways, but failure parents who are also financial failures, isn't any easier to deal with later in life.
My wife isn't that interested in the financial side of things in terms of investments, as she is more at the practical daily level with these things. However, I know that I might drop dead tomorrow and I want to make sure that they have the best opportunity to go on without me. And, even if I live a full life, I want to be able to be that support for my daughter in all the possible ways I can as a parent, including with money.
While my wife might not see this as important as I do, I think that it is because she and I have very different backgrounds. While her parents are working-class for sure, they were also smart spenders, meaning they were quite frugal and didn't overspend. This meant that she always had some safety net, so she doesn't know what it really is to be without it completely. I know what it is to have nothing, and while there are lessons to learn from that, I don't feel that those lessons can only be learned from that state. My daughter will hopefully not suffer needlessly, so she can spend her energy on something more valuable than just making ends meet.
We are a long way from being able to provide that yet though, so if I do drop dead tomorrow, she won't have much coming her way. But, a few years down the track and I hope to be able to have a safety net in place for her that might not be huge, but can save her in the worst of times. When you have your back against the wall, you want someone in your corner and while I might not be there physically, I might still be able to help her.
Inheritance is an interesting problem in the world, because it does assist in maintaining the wealth gap. But, we also don't live in a world where resources are going to be distributed well across the entire population without competition. So, for now, we have to be part of the game and if we want to play to our potential, we have to train well and have the equipment necessary for the sport. In the economy, one of those items is money.
A lot of people have built their careers, starting from hand-me-downs.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Posted Using LeoFinance Alpha
“Work honours”, my father used to say. The advice his three sons sowed in us is “never spend what you have not yet earned”. I apply that advice every day, avoid getting into debt, and pass on that lesson to my son Matthew.
I did get my share of my parents' inheritance, but I left it behind when I migrated; my siblings take care of it. And that's fine, I can't complain about providence, we are doing well here in Canada.
I was always the adventurous son, the entrepreneur, or the “brainiac” as I was affectionately called. I accept that I was the spoiled one, the protected one because of my visual impairment.
Like you, my friend @tarazkp, I came out of the suitcase, things were given to me as I planned them; of course, I worked hard for it. I'll leave Matthew a carpet of possibilities. Matthew will learn and inherit from me what my parents left me: work honours - .... Don't spend what you haven't earned yet.
This is good and hopefully, some of the tools to be able to take some of them. Money is just one of those tools of course. There are many more tools, including all the mindset, emotional, and process tools.
On a sidenote, do you think "adventure" is genetic? I am at least a third generation that has migrated.
Yeah its an interesting thing to think about as most kids will be handed down a house and have a better quality of life than ourselves (more money for holidays rather than rent or mortgages etc). I own my house (well half way through a mortgage) but my older sister is still renting so I told my mother to give her our home house when she pops her clogs. Maybe the big sis will then be able to afford a house in the city she lives if she sells it. I'll be fine. sisters future house will probably be left to my kids anyway when she's brown bread as she's not married and doesn't intend on having kids I imagine. Swings and roundabouts (and houses).
"pops her clogs" is a new one for me, as is "brown bread" (which I assume is some kind of rhyming slang) :D
It is generous of you to give it up and at the same time, I think it is a good thing to do for distribution. I feel that some people just can't give up anything, even when they know they don't need it. I know one guy who was taking some kind of tiny government money, even though he was worth 60M.
As they say in Ireland . " that's why he's worth 60 million" 😃😃.
Sounds like a paradigm @meesterboom lives by.
Why aye man!!
Incidentally, brown bread is broon breed here for deid. Instead of dead. These posh irishlanders! @blanchy 🤣🤣
Only the Scots would consider the Irish posh!
Lol, is the big chip on our shoulder. We think everyone is posh!
How very dare you. We re very posh over here. We have the highest percentage of helicopter owners in all the world. I went to the pub the other night in one.
Let me give an example. I'm a teacher and I work in one of the most expensive schools in Nigeria where they pay over $1000 as tuition fee. I was asking one of my students one day what he wants to be in life and he said he just wants to inherit his father's property and it is not the same case for me.
My parents are not that rich so I just have to work extremely hard for whatever I want. You said you only took a box of cloth to Finland and some money. That's how some other people started their lives and they are in good positions today. That's just like you too. I'm sure you have gotten to that stage in life where you should be proud of yourself. You deserve your flowers. It is not easy to come from nothing to something and you are even able to give your child the basic things that a child should afford.
Kudos!
I also wonder if having too much money is a hinderance to motivation. A lot of the billionaires for example aren't passing all of their fortunes to their kids, because they don't want them to be able to have whatever they want without having to do any work for it.
One thing, even if poor, working hard has its own satisfaction that comes with it.
For me my grandparents leave something behind them but those were enough for my dad and his brother and sister but our generation has to do work hard to get something
But here I think that with every day inflation is high and our needs are also high as we made our life complex, so i think now no one leave behind something??? Or inheritance maybe finished one day....
I think people should work out what they need to do to leave behind something, if they think their children will need it. A lot of people seem to take the approach of "they will work it out".
It's about who you know, not what you know... ya know?
I've definitely struggled to land new employment now that my social circle is smaller and younger, while my older friends and family members are further out of touch. Time to fire up the old networks.
Yeah, time to get engaged again :)
Tell me about it. My current partner is hoping my third time is the charm when it comes to engagement + marriage.
A gentlemen's silent competition of who's passing down more and building better with their own hands. Meanwhile, skill gets forgotten between generations. DIY stuff that my parents and grandparents could do are also things of ... not enough time to invest into. Because they have become less profitable than just going for the dough. And it's sad. And I hope... temporary. But everything is temporary. All inheritance goes to waste pretty fast if the habits and motivation to continue building on is not there. It's all just a few months of no cash flow or medical conditions some of which just come with age... Or a mental condition. Dust in the wind.
Skills are a dying art these days. It is sad how little most of us can do with our hands. Things that people used to do commonly, because they had to. We are spoiled.
I'm playing the other hand. If I spend more money (borrow) than I could possibly ever make, I win. Take that credit cards/banks.
:D
It can work, as long as they don't expect your kids to pay.
We too are try to set things up for our son in a way to help him out but what I’m struggling with is when to do that. My wife is thinking when he turns 21 but I’m thinking 25 or 30, so he doesn’t fuck things up early and has to live and work a bit before he gets some of the assistance that we’ve been saving for him.
We aren’t going to get shit from my wife’s parents and it’s debatable if we are getting anything from mine but we just roll with it. You deal with the cards you’re dealt!
You know how someone mentioned lifting the voting age in the US to 25? There is a bit of wisdom in that, isn't there? Thinking how culture changed - an 18 year old 60 years ago was starting their career, at 23 getting married with a kid and getting a house. A 25 year old these days still lives at home and mum does the laundry!
I think inheritance is just something of a bonus. I don't expect anything like that from my parents because there just isn't that much money available. I won't complain and I can live my own life, but I know that my parents would do a lot of things for me if I asked. I don't think I would bother doing that but if I do have children, I would want to first focus on giving them a good childhood then after that, leaving something behind.
This is an interesting one. I wonder what a good childhood really is these days. Most children (at least for a while) don't think their childhood was great, but a lot of parents seem to focus on the wrong sides of childhood too, even when they try to provide a good one. Parenting sucks - maybe because we all had crappy childhoods! :D
It's a tough question and I guess it's trust that most of us had a crappy childhood. Would leaving them without the suffering a good idea or would it help? It helped me understand the value of money.
When you start from nothing you live a lot on faith. A lot of things don't come on time for you. Even getting married and having kids become impossible and misery if you do it. It would be like one goal post to next type of dragging life. And only thing that can handle this is money, not people, not support of anything, just pure raw hard numbers, it's like money domination can make such problem go away to 90 or so percent.
The challenge isn't in the getting married part - my wife and I eloped :D Having kids though is a bit different. One thing that seems quite common however is, when people have kids, they start to work harder for them.
I think everyone today is having such kind of financial problems. I feels your first lines true that what happened when parents doesn't left any property or cash behind. If I am a parent I wants to make earnings that my children don't have to face any financial problem. My grandparents left nothing for my parents and I know very well that how much my parents are struggling to make lifestyles better.
It doesn't take much to help out perhaps. It also takes the kids being willing to learn and work, no matter how much or little they get.
In the USA we always have the risk of wiping out our savings from serious illness late in life. It's better to drop dead. Although there is health care for the elderly, their savings are often eaten up by what isn't covered. My father was not retirement age when he fell ill. He had to be completely destitute to receive any assistance. We had to sell off all of his assets. As bad as it can be, I can imagine that it is likely worse in other parts of the world.
I understand how it feels when a parent leaves behind absolutely nothing for the children they're left to start their own lives and fend for themselves, but sometimes I think financial challenges do contribute to this.
You don't have to die to pass on an inheritance. Just give your daughter an active Hive key when she becomes an adult or delegate HP :)
She has her account waiting. :)