Over the last almost twenty years in Finland, I have done several jobs, but all of them have been working with a range of professionals in their field. For the first decade, I was teaching business English, which due to age, was also often upper management and owners. This was very useful for me, as while they improved their English, I was given insight into their lives and processes, as I tended to end up more as a consultant, than a language trainer - which led to me starting my own consultancy later.
What was interesting to note was that there was quite a difference in average approach when it came to the different "price points" of salaries and income, where at least through the conversations I had, those who were earning more were also working more. But, it wasn't just this, as while they were working more, they complained less about the amount they were doing and their disposition was generally happier.
Was it the additional money?
It is hard to say, but I would say at least partly, yes. The reason is that not having to worry about personal finances daily is a large weight off the mind and heart, reducing stress. Quite often, people equate "a lot of work and deadlines" to stress producing, but I suspect that it is dependent on what the expected outcome is going to be. When a person is under the gun to meet deadlines and they are struggling to make ends meet, they are going to have stress coming from their work, as well as their personal lives. When they are only stressed by their work (for the most part), that work becomes somewhat liberating and motivating, like playing a sport.
This attitude seemed to be present in nearly all of the people I trained and while they would be considered "rich" by Finnish standards, it wasn't like they were driving Ferraris and on Personal jets, they were just, more than comfortable. And I think this supports the idea of what is enough before the stress of maintaining it becomes a problem.
But, one of my students would have been considered rich by any standard, yet if you met him ,down the street, you wouldn't realize how rich, because he lived his life as the average well-off person, not the average 0.1 percenter. And, the other thing that might have thrown people off is his open smile and willingness to talk with everyone and help anyone.
Yet, he worked longer hours than any of his employees.
And, he had been doing it his entire life, starting his construction firm on the back of loans at the age of twenty six, working his ass off with small children in tow, seven days a week for years before he could afford to step back from the day to day slightly, and start to relinquish some management control to others, while he focused more on the growth of the business. The business employees hundreds directly now and indirectly, several thousand across Finland, yet people tend to forget (or never know) what went into his success.
Money doesn't make a successful person. However, what I found through a lot of these people is that they were also spending time mentoring others in their businesses, passing on what they have learned works and the many mistakes they have made to those who were looking.
And, there was also another thing that was quite interesting to note, as there is the common misconception that people who are working a lot, are therefore not spending time with their families, but I found the opposite to be true. Why I think this is that while they spent more hours than most working, they also had the "luxury" of being able to spend focused time with their children and partners. But more than this, they were also far more resource aware and saw time as value to be spent, using it effectively and not wasting it on too much frivolous activity.
I never heard one of them mention what happened on a reality show.
And, I think this is an interesting point to focus on, as while people think that entertainment is a necessity for life enjoyment, they still enjoyed life without what is typically considered entertainment, by making the jobs they do, entertaining. Business is a gamification model after all, a real-life board game of rules, processes and decisions in order to "win". While people spend their time playing Monopoly or collecting points on Farmville, they are doing it in real life with financial skin in the game.
And just like gaming, it is addictive.
But, just like gamers who sit there for 16 hours a day at a screen, there is the risk to overvalue the game at the expense of other parts of life. However, out of all the people I spoke to and got to know, I don't think any of them had crossed over that line, whilst I knew many low- or no-paid people who were consistently spending their time entertaining themselves in front of a screen, ignoring other facets of their life, like their families.
Interesting, eh?
It is like when people say that working too much makes you sick, which is true. But have a look around at the people who don't work enough and recognize that they aren't generally the "picture of health" either and on top of that, they are also worrying about their financial wellbeing too.
Which is better?
No idea for you or others, but for me, I would far rather be working too much under the stress of the job, than where I was earlier, with a lot of time on my hands, struggling to make ends meet. The stress that I experienced at the poorest points in my life (and these have been frequent and extended), were the most stressful I have had, because unfortunately, life doesn't stop and for most opportunity, some level of income or means is required.
Perhaps my family don't see me enough, but I would far rather them see me at my best and in those times when I can focus on them one hundred percent, than when I have lots of free time to spend with them, but I am stressed about how I am going to provide food and a roof over their head. I grew up in a home where money was a constant issue and it wasn't a healthy environment for anyone, putting pressures on the children that they probably shouldn't have been dealing with at those ages.
Attitude and mindset.
Over the years, I have been told how my approach is bad for my health, yet it is an interesting conflict, because I am far happier and the people in my life have a better experience with me because of how I have changed to work more. So, who actually has the problem, me or the people who make the judgement? Is it that they are concerned about my wellbeing, or is it that they are concerned about their own and potentially their unwillingness to make a change?
Often I think, we make excuses for ourselves as to why we can't do something or why it is impossible to change our conditions. And then when other people do and improve theirs, we devalue it and make more excuses as to why they could, or tell ourselves a story that in actual fact, they are worse off than us for it. This might make us feel more comfortable with our lives as is, but it isn't useful to help us improve our lives.
I feel that with all the economic problems in the world and the ability to avoid having to deal with them by delving into the many channels of entertainment, we are reducing our ability to improve our wellbeing, by becoming comfortable with our misery. Misery might be a strong word in this case, but everyone is on a spectrum of negativity at some point and I get the sense that the average is sliding further down, as more people spend their time on value-sucking activities, in the belief they bring value to their lives.
But, at the end of the day, we each live our own experience and have to make do with what we have the best we can. While my path is different to yours, I think that the value of our own lives comes down to the meaning we apply to what might otherwise be a meaningless existence. Whilst I apply meaning in one area, others apply it as they choose also and at the end of the day, he who dies with the most toys, still dies. But, this applies to everything. He who consumes the most YouTube material still dies. He who knows all the lore of Game of Thrones still dies. He who sleeps the most, eats the least, has the best body, the prettiest face, lives under a bridge or has a life of abject misery - still dies.
He who has the best relationships, still dies.
As does he who has the worst.
And this is the point everyone should come to terms with, death is the great equalizer - it is also the great forgiver. No matter what we do in this life, it all leads to the same end, we are all "forgiven", none of us are saved. However, what we do in our lives can have affects on the lives of others and at least in my opinion, being able to improve the lives of others brings meaning to my own life, but there is not much I can do for others, unless I work for it.
Avoidance through entertainment might make me feel better, but it is just delaying the inevitable end we all face, whilst doing nothing of consequence while here and alive. Changing the common definition of what entertainment is, can mean it can be derived from value-adding activity too, including the quality of time spent with loved ones.
For now at least, my daughter can sleep in peace at night, dream about dragons and marshmallows, not having to worry about whether her parents can afford the shoes she needs for preschool, or her dance class. This is a luxury I didn't have as a child and it had an effect on my life for years to come.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
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What's life?
When young, lots of energy, good health, and no money and low income
When old, no energy, no health, have money, and high income (hopefully)
Life is about finding that balance, we don't know when is our last day, and we don't know how long the loved ones will be with us.
One last point, is it better to moonlight for that extra (and lower) incremental income? Or is it better to invest the time upgrading skills for higher income potential?
My wife and I talk about this often, and I am guessing so do other couples. We can protect ourselves, exercise, eat well etc - but that doesn't mean we are secure. The future is unknowable.
Great question!!
It depends on the person and the circumstance. For example, the friends I have talked to are already highly educated and skilled, so while they can increase these areas, it might not have that much impact on their income, but might take a long time to educate. Then there are people who educate, but never apply what they learn, where they end up using education as a type of entertainment - collecting "knowledge" but unable to apply it to add value anywhere. It is up to the person to work out what is suitable for them, but it has to be an honest appraisal of the self, a long hard look in the mirror to know what one is truly capable of and willing to do.
I think this is why I can’t get back into watching TV that much any longer. There’s so much other things to do and learn that I don’t have the time for that stuff any longer. Sure I can probably do more work but I’ve got another side job that I enjoy and brings in decent money and I think the balance of the work I do now compared to the stuff I do with family is good so that I don’t get too stressed out and can eat dinner and read books every night with the little man.
I’ve got an older friend that’s got a heck of a lot of money and you’d never know it either. He’s got old cars, doesn’t do anything flashy but has crazy investment properties. I would love to be in half the real estate position he’s in but it’s all opportunity cost. He sacrificed things at the right time and it’s paid off well. Others it hasn’t so I get the unique scenario.
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I don't recommend for everyone to fill up every waking moment, but the truth is, most of don't have a second job of any kind and can't "find the time" to do anything of value, but do find the time to watch a crapload of crap on TV.
The "right time" to invest is always now I assume - what to invest in right now is the question :) However, having that possibility at the right time generally takes planning and this is where a second income stream can do a great deal of work.
I agree with this, I am a ownrer of small business and for me it's like a life-board game where I need to take care of the king and try to stand my guard, but it was exciting after all because I learned many mistakes that help me to choose a better decision. There are even times where I was only sleeping for like 2-3 hours per day for me to take care of my business and its giving me so much stress.
Exactly - it isn't an easy game, but it is meaningful as it sustains our living potential.
I know these times well! Now it is better by far, but I still sleep less than most people, most of the time.
Hopefully business is good and you are less stressed now :)
Having money is good. Yes, you can sleep better. However, I remember when I did not have money about 35 years ago. It lasted several years. Surprisingly. I did not worry back then. Perhaps, I was too innocent or ignorant to worry. I do not know. But I was provided for. I had faith somehow I would make it through. That big man up there was watching out for me. I often wonder if folks who have money worry more, as they worry how to keep their money and make more. I suppose it is fear verses faith.
I wonder if it is an age thing? When I was at university, I was working fulltime but paying off my education - yet, times were pretty good. But, the level of responsibility in the world was different for me too - so I could forego food in favor of alcohol and a night out, and no one would care. It was similar when I came here and my friends were students -even though I was earning under poverty level, I was still able to join them, because they were too :)
People who have been established with their financial adequacy, let alone who can still live a simple life with all the wealth they have, are almost always free from stress and pressure, (despite their good stress management).
In my observation, a successful person always prepares the best cadres to continue his business and business knowledge, the rest is to become a humanitarian donor. It was all done to maintain the existence of their business values even when he was no longer working, he was happy to see his cadres were also successful beyond him and who became donors, they wanted to be remembered by the next generation when he was gone.
Btw, for the value of time with whom we should spend it, I really admire many things from Smallsteps that inspire your happiness, Mr @tarazkp.
Every generation in parent-child relationships always hopes and does their best to do something better, right?
When I was a child, I couldn't have a small bicycle because of my parents' incompetence, so when I became a parent, I bought my little one a bicycle and quickly gave cycling lessons so that he could walk around the complex where I live. his little friends and at night, he can sleep soundly after he tells the cycling route they took.
"Simple life" isn't so simple, is it? :)
I am not sure if people even want to be remembered these days, but they do want to be memorable in the moment, to make an impact on their world. It is hard when there are no resources.
Smallsteps is my guiding light :)
Simple things like riding a bike become significant things for both parent and child - it is amazing what value there is in family, yet a lot of people avoid it.
No child should grow up knowing how much they can't afford. Our generation had to sacrifice a lot. An entire childhood. Maybe this explains why many grew up too fast, being more mature, having an inferiority complex because of how many times they have been told they can't have that.
This sort of childhood can haunt you. It is still happening a lot because there are many parents who struggle financially and put this burden on kids as well. It is definetely sad...
I can relate and I didn't have it nearly as bad as some in terms of national issues. Though, my family was "unique" in many ways.
I have found that many of those who have become successful, have come from poor backgrounds. However, the vast majority of people stay poor, struggling their whole lives.
I studied this as well and it is still interesting to analyse why some overcome this while others do not.
I have also met people who earn quite good, above average. Yet they maintain the poverty mindset , acting like they have to buy the cheapest thing in order to survive. This shows how hard it is to overwrite the early childhood mental code. Maybe on a subconscious level the people feel unworthy of the money and this is why they continue a lifestyle which is no longer necessary. It is so complex I still try to wrap my head around my own issues, no wonder that many are not even aware. It is passed on from generation to generation
I think that doing a business requires kinda an ability. It doesn't have to be learnt at school or university. I have seen many businessmen who were poorly educated, but used his life to be a rich.
I agree - but I think the mindset of gamification is in us all, which also means we m ight be able to transfer it to different pursuits.
We have this relationship/marriage jokes among the ladies. And it's something like, 'its better to have rich cheating partner than a poor one because you always the money to cry into'.
And now, it's almost close to what you are saying. Even though people frown at those who seem to work hard, it's better to work hard knowing that you are able to provide for your loved ones, and bring meaning to their lives than to strive for more time to spend with them while wallowing in the misery of not being able to provide for them.
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Lol - now, don't blame men for being sexist and thinking that women only care about money ;)
After my daughter was born, we had some "issues" that almost collapsed us financially. That is the worst I have ever felt in my life and, I have been through some things that weren't easy prior. Feeling so useless and unable to provide, isn't a nice feeling for anyone involved.
That is why it is important to discover oneself in other to know what your personal choice of lifestyle is and also know what is convenient for you which probably will be different from others. I can't intend to live a life that won't please my satisfaction because I want to please someone else. We all have our lives to live so we need to know what satisfies our pleasure as human.
That self-discovery can be very hard and I think people tend to "discover" what is popular, what everyone else is doing, rather than truly diving deep into who they are as an individual and what they need.
We all chasing for money because money important to lead life. But we are running for it desperately that sometimes we forget that we are doing our work to earn money to live e happy life . As a result many people sacrifice their precious moment with their family members thinking that everything they are doing for their family happiness in upcoming future sacrificing little little happiness.
To be honest I don't think that after work over time a man become very weak and little thing stress come. In a word working overtime create huge impact in their mental health and that creates unsatisfaction more specifically make them unhappy. And I think being I a unhappy man with huge money is not better than happy with that money which is enough. .
Ah, but you are seeing only the money side of it - not the entertainment side of it. The money can be a byproduct of the entertainment of business, which fundamentally changes the process and relationship with the money.
Again, I think this is like above. Most people hear what they have been told is bad for them, without exploring all the different sides of it.
But, what are the requirements of happiness? When you are struggling to make ends meet, unable to buy your child the things they need, are you happy?
I agree with you in that statement. Everything has positive and negative impact at the same time.
Ahmm.. it's a very difficult questions i think 🤔.
Respect, love, money is the most important according to my opinion. It's true that money can't buy happiness but without money nobody can be happy. At least money is needed to fullfill the basic demands.
No, I won't be happy in that case. That's why i think that amount of money is require to lead life comfortably..
Wow. This is definitely a great read - it's inspirational.
I am seeing a lot of similar things to this built from the ground wealthy individuals, they don't do what is common. They focus more on building up their wealth and then think of leisure afterwards.
This is the reason why I am limiting myself whenever playing games or watching movies and tv-series.
Thanks a lot for sharing this.
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I used to watch a massive amount of shows and play games - now I write instead. It is far more entertaining, I get to create something and, I can earn on it, not pay for it :)
Writing is one of my weakest weakness that I want to improve. I remember the first time I write my first few post, it took me 3 days (plus the night hours) to write one and the quality is terrible. LOL.
Now, I can write one article/post in less than a day and the quality is far better than my first.
I still have a long way to go and still working on it. My target is to be able to write a 1k-word quality post in an hour.
I still play a few games (2 as of now) and write about them so it is still beneficial for me. 😊
the common misconception that people who are working a lot, are therefore not spending time with their families, but I found the opposite to be true— a revelation indeed. There will always be time for everything, it is now left to how we put judicious use to how it is spent . Family over everything!!
Family over everything, but in order to care for a family, other things are needed.
I tend to agree but the balance between what is work and what is entertainment is the biggest issue. After all, you can't just take a break if it's what you need for work.
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Yeah, that is one of the issues here - but that balance is part of building maturity, isn't it?
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I actually laughed at this. This is really common among people, including myself sometimes (oops). Time to change my mindset!