When my father died of cancer I knew when it was going to happen; his death was only hours away the last time I saw him. I'd told him I would be ok, that I didn't want him to be in pain anymore and that I loved him very much then was taken from the room. He was gone a very short time later.
I was eleven years old and that moment has stuck with me my entire life, that and the journey his illness took us all on, the fight he waged and how devastating it was to me as a child...and now as an adult. That moment, walking away knowing it would be the last time I'd see my father, haunts me.
I'm facing it again with my mother right now, her slow decline and the pain and suffering we are both going through on a daily basis. Some days I don't know how to go on, but go on I must, she needs me and somehow I manage. Cancer is a tragic illness that affects everyone close to the sufferer and knowing I'll lose my mother to it the way I lost my father fills me with dread.
Imagine you had the power to see people's future - not your own - but only the exact moment they would die and how, would you tell people? What possible ramifications do you think there would be either way.
When I read the #weekend-engagement prompts I didn't get past the first knowing I'd not be involved, but something changed my mind, the idea that putting thoughts down in words might help me work through them just a little bit...these are those words.
I'd not want the power to see the manner and time in which people would die, I think it would be a curse. If I had it though, I'd not divulge the information to people.
Telling a person when and how they would die would almost certainly cause them to act differently, maybe to their detriment if they lapsed into despair, and possibly to their benefit if they decided to make their life count right up to the final moment. But would it be the right thing to do? That's the dilemma galenkp wanted to present us with I suppose.
I feel life should proceed without the knowledge of when death will arrive so that it plays out organically and decisions are made around life rather than knowing when one's death will be. It's enough to know that it will happen at some point in time, I don't think we need to know when, however I think we need to live each moment fully, be present in one's own life and be the best version of ourselves.
My mother falls backwards into the impending doom of her life ending and that the demise will be a terrible experience and that's when despair creeps in, but she comes around and we enjoy those better times, make memories that will stay with me for my lifetime. I believe this is the best way and far better than focussing on that eventual end.
Thinking back to the eleven year old me, I wish I'd not known that that moment was going to be my last with my father, it destroyed me, stole my innocence and shattered the concept of hope, that lasted for a long time. I don't want that to occur with my mother, or anyone else for that matter.
This is a very difficult question and everyone will answer it in their own way. For me the answer is no, I'd not tell the person...but I'd not want the power of knowing the first place.
Becca 💗
The weekend experiences community.This post has been written for week 158 of the #weekend-engagement concept featured in
Yes, impactful. I was 20 when similar happened to my father. As you stated certainly life altering. I didn't realize how much until 15 years later, and how other life choices and situations complicated that even more. Great for you to be able to share now with others and maybe we all don't feel so alone.
For me, much study, therapy and research helped. I no longer fear it, but certainly will not go that way myself. Such a blessing that many states in this country now allow a person to make their choice of when with dignity and not drag it out unless they choose to. Amazing it took years of legislation to grant our suffering people the same options we would give our beloved dog or cat, but a welcome change for sure.
Here's wishing the best for you, and for me, well my research has taken me from a strong skeptic to a firm believer in that our soul lives on and we are born again to experience several lifetimes.
Some of my favorite interesting reading for those inclined:
Living your Past Lives - The Psychology of Past-life Regression
The Karma in Your Relationships
both by Karl Schlotterbeck
Best to you!
I'm sorry to hear that ksteem, it is a tragic loss at any age and nothing really ever fills the void, try as we might.
You refer to euthanasia, a very contentious topic, however I believe each person should have the right to choose for themselves. I'd vote for it if it came to that, I have seen enough people suffer needlessly.
Thank you for your kindness, it is not always easy to open up like this as you may know and I appreciate your careful comment and for sharing a little of your own experience. Thank you for the books too. You are a gentleman.
Becca 💙
Yes, everyone needs to find their own way. Glad to hear you are open to personal choice, no matter which side people are on. If we could all believe in that the world would be a much better place!
"And it harm none, do what ye will shall be the whole of the law". -- Wiccan Rede
Blessed Be
A lovely quote, thank you for sharing it.
Have a lovely weekend.
Becca 💙
What a sensitive subject and one that I have experienced so many times. To have the possibility of seeing in advance the death of a person, more than one family member, some would see it as a gift... I don't know if it is a gift or a curse, one suffers a lot.
When asked if saying it is a no, each person chooses their life before they come, they just don't remember it, their life must pass as they decided. For the one who sees... it is only to be prepared for that moment... although no one is ever prepared.
Thank you Beca❤️
It's a very sensitive subject, yes. Everyone approaching is differently, especially those who have not had much exposure or experience with death. We all will though, at some stage, so it bears some contemplation.
Thanks for your comment, I appreciate you taking the time Amonet.
Becca 🌷
It's a real pleasure, and it's a subject that is very important to me because I live it in a special way.
Thanks to you Beca❤️
I don't even know what to say Becca, that must have been so hard at such a young age, especially seeing as I know how close you were and how much he meant to you.
The current situation with your mom, I understand and have full empathy for both of you. All I can do is send you virtual hugs and comfort, strength and hope. The time that you still have with her counts and the fact that you are there with her.
💔
It wasn't a nice thing to experience but it helped shape my life, as my father would have helped shape my life had he been around for me.
Life is difficult, beautiful sometimes too, and I'm the sort of person to be grateful for what I have, and who, and that's how I like to be. We will make the most of the time we have, my mother and I, it seems the best way to go.
Thanks for your kind message.
Becca 🌷
Actually telling someone when or how he/she would die would only quicken his/her death. Is a No No for me🙅
Yes, that's possibly likely to be the case.
Thanks for your comment.
Becca 🌷
You are welcome.