Dude I used to cook! All the frikkin time too. I was the guy my buddies would ask to run the grill. Him.
Then I met Pura... Nowadays it isn't rare to find me shooting her a text message "where's the jelly" cuz I can't even make a pb&j without assistance.
Mayo.. I'm not exaggerating, I can't hardly peak that direction when I go down aisle 12. I'm like one of those race horses with blinders on 'quick! Get me outta this aisle!!'