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My mind is like my fridge. Everything is properly compartmentalised and tidily arranged in neat little lines.
There’s very little in the fear compartment, I’m pretty fearless. Well, naturally, I’m afraid of spiders, but otherwise, I can’t think of a single thing I find fearful. It’s probably because at this stage in my life, every awful thing that could happen, already has. I’ve been robbed, mugged, cheated on, libelled, swindled, burgled, had my car twice set on fire outside my door, lost most of my bitcoin to the MT Gox debacle and even had someone die in my arms, and I’m still standing. What’s there to fear?
Being a grumpy old woman, I hate many things: authorities, children, cats, arrogance and people who speak slowly. You know I have to listen to most podcasts at double speed. If I have to pick a pet hate, though, it’d be stupid people, and gawd knows there are lots, many of them in politics.
We had a terror incident in Dublin last week when two men had their throats cut as they stood in their (respective) doorways. A government spokesman said, ‘Unfortunately, they were in the wrong place at the wrong time.’ You couldn’t make it up.
It’s not that I’m so clever; it’s that everyone else is so stupid, with the exception of you, dear reader.
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After seeing It's a Wonderful Life at an impressionable age, it’s been my life’s ambition to be useful and to have it make a difference that I’ve lived. Thus, I was quite gratified that when I returned to Dublin after years abroad and met a few of my ex-employees in the street, they immediately launched into how good it had been to work with me and what a positive influence I’d been on their lives. Of course, they could have been telling fibs.
I love to laugh and try to find humour in everything. I mean, when you find yourself in clown world, what can you do but clown around? Not everyone finds me funny, but as a rule, the cleverer the person, the more amusing they find me.
I have failed at many things, including yoga, tai chi, dancing and being a boy soprano. But I don’t let that phase me. I simply blame someone else and move on. If I had to admit to one failure, it would be my inability to read people, which has proved something of a handicap.
I hope that I’ll live ’til I die with a bang falling off my climbing rope in the gym, aged 97, but I’ll probably end up drooling in a nursing home with my arse being wiped by some robot.
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Posted in response to @galenkp's Weekend Experiences prompts asking 'Take us on a tour of your mind: Describe and explain one fear, one hope, one ambition, one failure, one love and one hate.'
The images are random snaps taken on Dublin streets and do not necessarily reflect my opinions
Having your throat cut whilst standing in your own doorway, then hearing they were in the wrong place at the wrong time sounds like a common theme these days. It sure doesn't lead to confidence in the authorities, no wonder they are in the hated category.
After all you've been through in your life, that nursing home gig just doesn't sound so bad lol (though I hope it doesn't come to that!)
🙃Yes, true, it sounds quite enticing. Perhaps I'll just skip the bit in between and go straight to the nursing home!:)
LOL Hurry up..it's almost time for ice cream!
Life is definitely not that bad. A malojillo tea before bed and a reading like this is enough to relax me today. Great ending, good idea of robots cleaning shit, it's not a pleasant task to clean other people's asses.
Great ending? But didn't you like the beginning and the middle?:)
Impressive and exhausting excursion. Promt definnitely is nailed. Liked reading it!
ps
I dont find you funny - rather sharp as a razor. 🍀
You don't find me funny? Just for that I'll tell you one of my father's jokes. My mother was Russian, my father was Russian but I'm never in a hurry!
I bet you've changed your mind now!:)
How much was the bet? 😉
Hahaha, excellent comeback m'dear. And they say Russians have no sense of humour🙃
😂😂😂 😘
That was a sharp and honest read—darkly funny too. Haha! I respect the fearlessness, though I can’t agree on the cat part, haha!
Making a difference matters, and it sounds like you have. 😉 And yeah, in clown world, laughing is the only sane option.
Hope you get the climbing rope exit at 97, but if not, I’m sure you’d make the robot-wiped ending just as entertaining, @deirdyweirdy. 🤣💖
Of course I'm not surprised that you find me funny. I've always said that you're an exceedingly clever lady with a fine sense of humour:)
It's always the clever and funny ones who find the funny and clever ones :P
My father, upon seeing his grandson for the first time, said 'how come all the other babies are so ugly, and he is so beautiful?' without a trace of irony. I imagine this is along the same lines. :P
Neither Mariah nor I are quite clever enough for irony, but we do a good line in facetiousness:)
Most babies are indeed grotesque but your father was lucky that his grandson was the one in a million that can look appealing:)
Haha, oops! I didn’t mean to reblog, that looked desperate, haha, I kept doing that error, not clever, well I’m in bed pressing buttons with my buttered fingers. But anyway, you just flattered me! 🤣🩷
Hahah, you're even cleverer than I thought. I wasn't even aware one could reblog a comment.
Hahaha, well, it seems like my hand has a mind of its own.
Now up to stitch!. Lol.
But your posts are all worth reading. A few good writers here and you're one of them . 🩷☺️
Two cars set on fire??? What the hell happened? You killed some mafia boss? 🤣
I hate the sentence "wrong place wrong time" every politician or police says so, no it's not like that there's no wrong place wrong time, you idiots should have to make the place safe and should not allow criminals to go around
Not two cars, the same car twice. First time we managed to put out the fire. Just let's say I wasn't liked in the area. The locals seemed to think I was a witch. I can't imagine why:)
Locals with same sympathy as a tapeworm
you are an endless source of high vibes amusement and pristine spirit entertainment. i just have to reblog this ahahahha
Oh I know! I've been practicing for years and I think I have it down pat.
Thanks for the reblog...because I'm worth it!
Fucking hell you don't want to see my fridge.
Apart from the fridge thing, you're a sister from another mister.
Facepalm. A little like Trump saying how unlucky the Palestinians had been? On a scale of one to worse, maybe a bit under that.
I think I'd rather my ass wiped by a robot than a human being.
You're right there! I always judge people by the state of their fridge.
You sound like a very fast talker indeed.
Good point! I think I'll have to think it out again.