Keeping Secrets...
I just had a conversation with my best friend @pooky-jax. This is a weekend of loss for us both. Her Mother Pamela Bach (RIP) passed away 13 years ago yesterday.
My little Sister, who this short post will be dedicated to, died from cancer 8 years ago last March. My brother knew She was dying and honoured her wish for secrecy. I am still devastated by this. I try to push the anger from this betrayal down. Not a day goes by that I am not reminded of this somehow. I do not talk about it often tho. The people I have spoken to agree that I and my father should have been told about this terminal illness.
I was so devastated I could not function. I just could not trust myself to not lash out in anger. My absence was to protect them. And also myself from incarceration. Cowardly? Depends on your point of view.
My wife put on a brave face and represented me at the gathering. I somehow made the deliveries I had scheduled for that week. Many times pulling over just to weep uncontrollably. I then parked the truck and went into withdrawal for several weeks. I did not even trust myself behind the wheel of a big truck. They knew of the terminal diagnosis for months, not days. I still struggle with the confusion of Why? Did they, (the family members who knew), harbour that much hatred towards us? How Cowardly were they by not giving my father and I a chance to say, "We Love You and Good-Bye."
My Kelly confronted my brother at the funeral home. "How could you not tell Randy.?" He said "I thought we had more time..."
This is the first time I have written about this. It also may be the last.
I got nothin' else. These photos of my lost friend, my little sister. Who for whatever reason, chose to not say good-bye to me. They will have to say the rest...
R.I.P. Misti "Mick" Leigh Briggs (1972-2015)
Thank You for taking a few minutes to share in this painful memory. To simply say...
I Love You & Good-Bye
I'm so sorry. Family is weird, I can attest to that
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I'm so sorry for your loss 😢 It had to be the hardest time of your life! She looks like she was an awesome lady, who lived every day to the fullest.
TY
She was.
She did.
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I like it when you open up like this; it's healthy of course, but more than that, it shows a side of you that you hide behind humour and quips. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's also nice to see your more human side, I think people respond well to that.
If I would offer any advice, it would be this: Do not allow a loss you had no part in be the opportunity to create losses you could have been a part of. Embrace who you still have. The older you get, the faster you lose those you grew up with until you are the last one standing and all you have are descendants.
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That's a painful situation to comprehend @krazzytrukker. It's always that people think "they have more time". I experienced similar with my best friend 13 years ago. It was hard to process it all. Your reaction and withdrawal were understandable. It's great that you felt the time was right to write about it. 🤗🌈
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I'm sorry for you and your friend's loss. May her spirit find rest soon! 🥺
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May her soul continue to rest in peace. I believe time heals all wounds. Although you may never stop missing her, the pain will reduce with time. You can take solace in the fact that she's now in heaven, dining with angels and free of cancer pains.
Most importantly, for three reasons, try to forgive your family members for not telling you. #1 reason - Nobody is eager to share bad news. #2 reason - they must have been living with the guilt since she died. #3 reason - It makes you feel better and it makes your heart lighter when you forgive and let go.
Finally, my prayers are with you and your family.
Thank You 💔
Talk about a lack of closure. That's wildly tragic, sorry to hear it, and sorry for the fact this will undoubtedly haunt you forever.
I've been thinking about death a lot lately since it seems to be looming over me from all directions, not quite yet hitting, and I feel like there simply is no... 'satisfying' death, one that provides true closure. A goodbye is never enough, nothing will be.
So credit to you for handling this in any capacity whatsoever, let alone bringing it out for plebs like me to learn from!
TY
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