Talk about a lack of closure. That's wildly tragic, sorry to hear it, and sorry for the fact this will undoubtedly haunt you forever.
I've been thinking about death a lot lately since it seems to be looming over me from all directions, not quite yet hitting, and I feel like there simply is no... 'satisfying' death, one that provides true closure. A goodbye is never enough, nothing will be.
So credit to you for handling this in any capacity whatsoever, let alone bringing it out for plebs like me to learn from!
TY
💔