Hiya folks!
Another weekend, another Weekend Engagement Topics for us to thrive on.
The amazing @galengkp has managed to bring us 200 weekends of fun, hard thinking, reflection, and much more, and for that, as long as I keep being here on Hive, I’ll never stop saying thank you 💕
Anyway, for me, finding something to write is always a challenge, and that’s why I appreciate so much this kind of space because I just have to read and pick a topic. But as always, I choose the most difficult one to develop because I always choose the hard path.
I’m a masochist, what can I say?
Because of that, I chose the one that I thought was the easiest, but I was wrong. Here it is 👇🏻
2️⃣What makes you feel insecure and why? What makes you feel confident and why? Explain with examples. Remember to use your own photos.
My Insecurities
I’ll mention the more obvious one, my appearance, all of it, hair, teeth, weight, height, feet, style, everything.
I have others of course, I’m not a particularly confident person, something I have to keep working on, but my appearance is the most superficial insecurity I have.
I always thought I was a cute baby, and as grew older it went downhill. Maybe it was because as a kid I was always in a very adult environment, since I was 9 I had to spend long periods of time away from my parents because of the orchestra. And kids are mean!
My grandma always said that kids are the greatest tyrants in the world. Maybe is a little harsh, obviously, kids are innocent and pure, and it’s the parent's job to teach them right from wrong and shape them into good and fully functional human beings. But I agree that they can be very mean.
I grew up being told I wasn’t pretty enough, skinny enough, etc. My adult teeth came out crooked so I don’t smile much, I have manly hands and feet, and my hair is so rebellious even though it's straight! But has a will of its own so I have a hard time styling it.
The weight thing was and still is the worst though. I had a nickname: Revaca.
A mix between my name Rebeca and vaca, which in English means Cow.
They even wrote a song, a rap song. I think I wrote about that here.
Every day, breakfast, lunch, and dinner they sang it to me. 200 plus kids and teenagers all chanted that damm song. And the adults laughed, so I did too.
It was my coping mechanism, to laugh, they mock me I mock me too, because the alternative was much worse. And of course, that shaped the view I had of myself as an adult, so, that's why I never trust a person who says to me that they like my smile (teeth out I mean), or that my hair is cool, or that I look beautiful. I hardly believe it, because, besides my parents, I never had that assurance from anybody, nor the tools to learn to love myself despite anyone's comments, fat or skinny, tall or short, good hair bad hair, straight teeth or crooked teeth. That came with time, and still sometimes have a hard time looking myself at in the mirror, but I’m working on it.
I still don't like my smile but I don't hide either.
My confidence.
As I said earlier, I’m not a very confident person, but there are three things I’m confident about.
1. My cooking skills: I'm a good cook, I mean, besides the fact I enjoy cooking, I like the taste of my food. Savory or sweet, what you want name it and I cook it, and I guarantee that you’ll like it.
Today's lunch 💕
2. My empathy: I try to be that person who puts on the shoes of others, to see what they see, feel what they feel, and help in any way that I can by seeing things from their perspective as well as my own. As a kid I used to hear adults say “No one learns in someone else's shoes”, but as I became an adult I learned that in fact you can too, you just have to be willing to TRY someone else’s shoes.
I believe the world lacks empathy at a scary level, so I try to do my part, I know that I’m good at that, and that gives me the confidence to keep myself afloat so that I can be of service to others.
3. My music: I’m not the best, far from it, but I’m good at what I do. I did not used to think that, lack of confidence and all, but over the years I have found that despite the long periods of time that I am out of the game, when I come back it’s like I never stopped you know? Like the riding a bicycle thingy, you never forget it, and I haven’t.
Yesterday I played a little after two-plus months without even dusting the case. I was in front of my fan, which distorts the sound pretty badly, but nonetheless, I recorded myself just because. I put a video on YouTube and I played above it.
My student said that he wished for a sound like mine, and my mentor said that it sounded good despite me being sick and away from my studies. And even said that he’s planning to come to visit and play together, so that says enough.
By the way, I play the oboe, and I love it, even though I don't play as often as I'd like. I'll include a video of me in late January before my medical leave.
That’s it, there you have it.
We all have insecurities, we just have to acknowledge them and work towards healing what needs to heal and repair what’s broken. That’s where our confidence starts to shape up when we start to see we can be good at many things, that we are not perfect, but we are wonderful for who we are, unique and beautiful.
See you next time 💕
✨✨Blesings✨✨
You are so genuine it's such a pleasure and this post is heartfelt and transparent like few others!
Thank you dear for your kind words 💕
What a bad experience you had as a child; The important thing is that you manage to overcome that and have confidence in yourself. Above all, accept yourself as you are. That's where the change for your benefit will begin. The others who think that whatever they want
Yes, it was hard. The guy who wrote the songs still calls me Revaca to this day, but I don't have ill feellings for any of them. I can't change the past, all I can do is be better today, tomorrow, and so on.
Thank you dear 💕
Thank you! 😱❤️
What a great, genuine and very real entry! 👏🏼
I felt every single word in the first part - hits very close to home for me. Some kids can definitely be cruel at times (speaking from personal experience, which I laugh at now, but it took ages for me to outgrow my nose insecurity).
I also think a lot of this (the appearance insecurities) has to do with the fact that we are women and as such, most of us (if not all) were raised to try and fit the image of the perfect girl/ woman/ mother. Something that society has been pushing onto us for ages. Instead of celebrating our uniqueness.
Your empathy, music and your cooking skills are great confidence boosts for sure - coming from someone that struggles with cooking unfortunately 😅
Yes, one laughs on the outside but on the inside it is a sea of emotions because as a child one does not understand why one cannot fit in like the others.
And just as you say, as women we have a stereotype imposed on our shoulders of what we should be no matter what the cost, and that is why many of us grow up feeling that we are not enough.
But once we understand that we are, many other things emerge that make us understand what everything is really about and fit in with ourselves.
And as for the cooking haha, try it! It's cool, baby steps at first but you'll enjoy it, guaranteed 🤗
Thank you for your kind words dear 💕
I'm happy that with age, we realize the truth and start tuning into the frequencies of the women we actually are 😊
Aww thank you! I've tried it but I think I'm a lost cause 😅 It doesn't come to me easily but because of my daughter, I keep trying. The poor soul has never complained of my cooking but I know she doesn't like it all 😁
That's like me trying to draw a picture. I cannot even get a stickman to come out right 😆
I appreciate you taking on what I see as the most difficult topic as it can be confronting and you have done a good job.
People can be quite cruel, I think you know what I mean considering what you wrote about being dealt by the kids and all...but it builds character and it's that which carries us through life more confidently and more at one with our true selves.
What can seem (or be) insecurities can also inspire great things within a person, as can adversity and hardship, and I think you've done a good job.
It has been quite a journey, with its ups and downs and what is missing. But I wouldn't want it any other way, it has made me who I am and for that I am grateful.
I have learned to love myself as I am and to understand that there are people who love me for the same thing. Thank you for those words and I'm glad you liked what I wrote here 💕
I look forward to seeing what you have for us next weekend 🤗
Is this just about womanhood and humanity? This is quite an eye opener to what many people go through while covering it all under their clothes. Beyond that, I think that you are a strong woman with the dexterity to make a difference which you did with nobility.
Unfortunately, your type of woman is hard to come by in our today world. Just keep doing what you known to do best, your reward is closer than you can ever think.
All human beings face insecurities and find their confidence on their respective paths. Women have a hard ball because of what society expects from us, as well as men who also have their share of hardship. It's a very complicated subject.
But ultimately, I just hope I'm able to keep growing and sharing that with others, to not succumb to my flaws and keep embracing what makes me, me.
Thank you for you words dear 💕
It's true that sometimes, our society is composed of cruelty and judgment. Insecurities are everywhere, and I felt it somehow too, but the time came that I managed to handle this toxic feeling rather than make these imperfections of mine strong and be the woman I want to be now. And thanks to my skills personality too, that make me a better person than others. :) Thank you for sharing this ;)
Thanks to you dear 💕
Ugh toxic environments, there are too many of those unfortunately. And they make one doubt our God-given strengths. But if we keep our hearts and minds open, we can come out and be stronger than ever.