Hello @jazclassic,
It is a pleasure to read a story in which the author indulges imagination with such vigor. It is obvious to me that you enjoyed writing this fantasy. Your villain is delectably evil. It's hard to create a character who is evil and yet does not repel us.
Because I enjoyed your writing, I would like to offer a gentle critique. I think your spellcheck may have betrayed you. While all the words are spelled properly, the words used are not always properly placed. I went through part of the story to pull out some examples. This is some of what I found:
she was too brief and small in size.
Get into her bad side
but the receipts are just not adding up
grace my present in the kitchen
I was the one who did the barking
There is more. It seems these rather odd word uses are the result of a spell check that accepted the spelling and thus allowed in odd terminology.
There also seemed to be a bit of contradiction in your internal logic. Early on you explain that the young witch had no experience because she never had to do anything in the kitchen. She depended on magic. Then, later on, when she dreams about marrying the prince/merchant, she fantasizes about never having to do anything. As a witch, though, it seems she already enjoyed that benefit.
Please do not take this critique as a harsh judgement of your piece (I could be wrong). I wouldn't take the time and go through your piece with such care if I didn't think you did a great job. Good writers can always be better, and other writers often help them to be better. That has been the case with me. Writing workshops where I received valuable feedback helped me to develop my skills.
Good job here. A lively, interesting, wonderfully diabolical story.
Oh my gosh! I am so sorry I didn't see this earlier, I was so busy to read through my compliment. Thank you for the correction and the compliment, I'm still very new at writing, so this really went a long way, I really really want to improve my skills, and you talked about this writing workshop can you elaborate on that more, I think I really have issues with words,spelling and not knowing how to express my character sometimes. I'm trying to understand this particular word and another is popping up the next day. So I don't mind a little help here and there. But thank you for the correction, I will improve more in my nice story.
Hello @jazclassic,
I found a workshop at the local library. Then a group of people I knew (people who wanted to improve their writing) got together and created an informal workshop with a leader. You want to be careful that the people you listen to know something about writing, but often just having readers explain to you issues they have with you piece may be helpful. It's not always easy to put your stuff in front of others and listen to them tear it apart, but it is helpful.
I encourage you to find some place to practice. Here is good, but not enough. You do have the spark. That's all that's necessary to capture the attention of an audience. It may take a couple of years to get to where you want to be. Personally, I'm still learning :)
That's the problem I don't really know a place were they can encourage me like that, hive is the very first place I have ever shared my work.
And I just read other people's stories and try to improve by myself. But I know I really need to improve, I wish see those type of people online, you know, like post some of my work and they help me with the correction. But I'm not giving up, I love to write so I won't stop practicing. Thank you for replying too.