Oh my, this is written so well, @wrestlingdesires. You create a story about a child, and yet you manage not to use a juvenile tone. You set up tension, believable tension. The girl wants to ride a pony and her father worries about her safety, because townspeople might not be friendly. The child wants to prove she can take care of herself. Then she saves a cat, stumbles and is helped by a stranger. If I were to graph the plot line of this story, I would follow the thread from the original conflict--the girl wants to ride the pony and wants to prove she can take care of herself, to the climax, where the girl stumbles and meets the stranger. Then I would have a problem, finishing my graph. What happens to riding the pony, and wanting to prove she can take care of herself? These are almost dangling threads that cry for resolution. It's true she saves a cat. And she does meet a friendly townsman. But she doesn't prove she can take care of herself (I know, she rescues a cat, not the same thing), and she doesn't ride the pony.
I'm taking the time to detail my response because your story is soooo good. I feel obliged to point out to you what I see as a fatal flaw. And you are so bright, such a good writer.
When I write a story I try to think of it almost in terms of a geometric construction. The story has to have a logic to it, and has to follow a clean arc line.
I enjoyed this very much. I think you enjoyed writing it. Hope you don't mind the detailed observations. They reflect, of course, only my opinion.
Thanks so much, I always love your input, and am honored that you took time to give it ♥️ Please please keep it coming 🙏
My original thought about her proving herself, was that by tripping and finding herself at the mercy of a stranger was that she realized that her father was right.
I never thought about integrating riding the pony into the story! Do you have any ideas how it could be done, without her disobeying her dad?
Thanks again for your help, and your wonderful comment ♥️