📸https://muryou-aigazou.com/es
Los Pasos
Las calles adoquinadas estaban envueltas en un manto de neblina que las hacían aún más inquietantes. Junto a la neblina y el frío que entumecía desde los dedos de los pies hasta las mejillas, se unía un silencio casi sepulcral, interrumpido por el ocasional alarido de los perros callejeros. Un hombre de pasado incierto, con historias ocultas bajo la piel que modelaban su rostr, caminaba por el centro de la calle. El silencio intensificaba cada uno de sus pasos, ocasionando ecos y rebotes alrededor de las paredes.
Quizás la paranoia causada por el silencio y la vasta soledad hizo que algo en el rostro del hombre cambiara. Lo que hasta el momento había sido una caminata común en la noche se convirtió en una persecución. Los pasos rápidos aumentaron su velocidad hasta convertirse en una visible carrera. Desesperado por escapar de aquello que lo acechaba, la carrera se transformó en una entrada y salida de callejones a toda velocidad. Giro tras giro, los callejones se fueron estrechando hasta que un giro a la izquierda lo llevó a una calle sin salida. Paredes altas lo rodeaban, lo abrumaban; su corazón bombeaba sangre frenética hasta su cabeza a tanta presión que comenzaba a marearlo.
Y allí estaba, emergiendo desde las sombras, desde la profundidad de la oscuridad y la neblina. Sus rostros se encontraban parcialmente ocultos. Un escalofrío recorrió su espalda por el mismo centro de su columna.
La figura comenzó a hablar, las palabras sentían más frías que la propia noche.
- No hay redención, es sólo un espejismo
La cara del hombre cambió, reflejando el mayor temor, el miedo de conocer su destino.
The Steps.
The cobblestone streets were shrouded in a blanket of fog that made them even more eerie. Along with the mist and the cold that numbed from toes to cheeks, there was an almost sepulchral silence, interrupted by the occasional shriek of stray dogs. A man of uncertain past, with stories hidden under the skin that shaped his rostrum, walked down the center of the street. The silence intensified his every step, causing echoes and ricochets around the walls.
Perhaps the paranoia caused by the silence and the vast solitude made something in the man's face change. What had so far been an ordinary walk in the night turned into a chase. The rapid footsteps increased in speed until they became a visible race. Desperate to escape from whatever was stalking him, the race turned into an in and out of alleys at full speed. Turn after turn, the alleys narrowed until a left turn brought him to a dead end street. Tall walls surrounded him, overwhelming him; his heart pumped frantic blood to his head at such pressure that it began to make him dizzy.
And there he was, emerging from the shadows, from the depths of darkness and fog. Their faces were partially hidden. A shiver ran down the very center of his spine.
The figure began to speak, the words felt colder than the night itself.
- There is no redemption, it is only a mirage.
The man's face changed, reflecting the greatest fear, the fear of knowing his fate.
Translated with DeepL.com (free version)
You build tension well and your piece is nicely paced. This was a very good freewrite, but in the context of a short story, it remains incomplete. I would encourage you to develop this piece further; flesh it out and share the story behind the unknown man on the street.
The Ink Well is a community for complete short stories. I would love to read the full story version of this piece. We recommend that submissions to The Ink Well be a minimum of 750 words to avoid the risk of underdeveloped stories. We also ask that our writers support at least two other stories in the community each time that they submit on of their own, if they wish to immerse themselves in the community and be read and supported by others, including The Ink Well Admins. We look forward to your next submission. Your writing is a joy to read!
Thank you very much for your understanding. I will make every effort to avoid these mistakes in the future. Often, I write without knowing where I will post it, and I confuse the rules of different communities. However, it will be my pleasure to follow your guidelines precisely in my next publication. I apologize for any inconvenience and appreciate you taking the time to explain things to me.
You are very welcome :-) We look forward to seeing more of your writing here in the Ink Well community.
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