It was empty. A room almost empty save for Magdalene and classic furnitures. Her plump figure in the middle, hair grey with age and tied up in a prim bun. Her eyes bounced across what was once her home. She could even see things in their proper place, she could still hear the faint laughter from where she'd be chopping onions in the kitchen.
The living room had been full of life. Paul, her husband, would have friends over. They'd watch a game and get raucous over their dad jokes. Now, it was all just memory. The worn out carpets told the story.
With silent steps, in black flats, she made her way across the room to the window. The light curtains swayed from the breeze and the familiar scent of home hit her when she was close enough. It was her favorite laundry detergent. She could still smell it.
The street below was empty too. A stray cat bouncing over the trash cans. With a deep breath, she pulled back and did a 360, chest heavy with nostalgia. One last time. She just needed to feel one last time.
As if on cue, the front door opened and Paul waltzed in. He took of the baseball hat and heaved a grieved sigh. Moving along, he dropped keys into a ceramic bowl right on the table few feets away from the door. The silence of the house seemed to weigh on him as his shoulders slouched.
Magdalene drank in the sight of her husband. He still looked like her knight in shiny armor. He had taken on more defined features over the years but she still saw the boy who'd asked her to marry him on Prom Night. She saw the man who'd worked two jobs while in college to take care of her and their unborn child. The man who'd never failed to sing her praise even when she did nothing to deserve his unconditional love.
Paul stopped in his tracks, the comfort of his room a door knob away. Something compelled him to turn. It could have been the soft whisper of nature's breath or the lullaby of the soft fabrics as they slapped against the walls. Whatever it was, he found himself staring at the window. The window...
The window
Magdalene held her breath as he stared. She knew he couldn't see her but those eyes still left her transfixed. His grey hair was disheveled and showed traces of balding; his forehead glistened with a sheen of sweat. The rays of the setting sun casting a shadow on his stubbled jaw– she loved rubbing those. She wondered, what if...? But no amount of time could answer that question and she best be leaving now.
Paul stared at the window, the spot where their love seat once was. She'd broken the news of the third pregnancy right there, at that very spot above the bustling noise below. He'd returned from a long day at work– exhausted–when she'd began to knead him, easing out the tension from his body before breaking forth with the news. He still remembers how much he'd felt; myriads of emotions flowing through him. How time flies. He could have sworn it was just yesterday he held her, slow dancing to Frank Sinatra by the window.
With tears and a final smile Goodbye, she disappeared; her silhouette fading and devolving into fragments carried with the wind.
Paul felt himself smile and he had no idea why. He's wasted enough time on memories, he has five boisterous grandchildren who awaited him at the park. With a shake of his head, he slid into his room, silence in his wake.
This is my response to the Inkwell Prompt - Exhaust and Dreem-Wotw - Time. I listened to Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata while writing. I hope I was able to enthrall and captivate your mind.
Source: Lead Image by 0fjd125gk87 from Pixabay
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The music worked :) Quite beautiful and effective. You certainly do show, and share. We feel the sorrow, the history, the memories. You drop a clue in the middle that the narrator is no longer among the living, but it is a gentle clue. Truly, the story does read like a symphony, with an prologue, climax and resolution.
Thank you for sharing this with us, @deraa. We very much appreciate your significant engagement with other authors.
Thank you very much @theinkwell❤️🙂
Oh this is captivating and very calm...I heaved a sigh of relief after finishing the story....quite incredible with a good usage of words. You did justice with this gurl...🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🦋
Thank you so much. I really appreciate you ❤️🙂
My utmost pleasure baby girl 🥰🥰
This story is very emotional, I really like the use of words. It makes the reader feel the story.
Nice story!
Thank you 😊❣️
Time does fly quickly which leaves us wondering where yesterday went.
Your story shows that love lives on even in the afterlife and stands the test of time.
Your story is beautiful.
I felt these words in my soul😪😥
Your stories hit different no cap.
Keep it up @deraaa. May your mind continue buzzing with beautiful tales to be told❤️
Thank you very much 😅❣️❤️
You are welcome 🤗🥰
What a touching story. I like it very much, Deraaa :) Good luck!
Thank you very much 😊
😄😊
Hey there, @deraaa,
Your story captivated me right from the outset.
As a septuagenarian myself, my wife also in her mid 70's, I identify strongly with the scene and the emotions you've captured so well here.
My only small encouragement might be for you to go back and do a careful edit for a few relatively minor deficiencies in English—grammar details such as number, tense, an occasional misspelled word...
Apart from that, please don't change a thing in this brilliant, evocative story!
😄😇😉
Yes. I just have a question. What kind of tense? I'm a little lost as I'm still learning 😅. Would you please give me pointers because maybe I haven't written long enough to mark these things and I'm clearly still practicing my grammar and using prepositions. Hehe. I'd really appreciate it ..
Blowing the mind of the audience has been your spice and I see you going too places you never thought was possible in a short period of time, my eyes was glue too the end, with the imagination of how I can make my own love life as sweet at this
Aghhh. Boss of bosses!!! Thank you so much baba! This means a lot to me ❣️❣️❣️
Beautiful yet so sad.
An absolute gem of an entry.
I loved this Deraa
Aww. Thank you 😊
always my pleasure
This story makes me happy, as it proves love lives on... I'm glad Paul was able to remember the joys in life with his loved one, and you tied the ending together so well.
great story.
Thank you very much. I also love their love 😀
Beautiful story. Once again, you made me smile from reading. You bring your characters to life. LOVE IT!
Thank you very much❤️❤️❤️
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STOPThank you very much Buzzy!
You're welcome @deraaa! Have a nice day 😊🌹
Beautiful! 👏👏👏
You vividly captured the emotions of a man who lived and loved...though his spouse is no more, her memories are comforting.
As a lover of classical music, I understand that some piece can be inspiring! 🙂 !LUV
@kemmyb(3/3) gave you LUV.
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It was! And the grey clouds helped too. Thank you so much
Wow... such powerful memories, they can actually move time.
😁😁😁❤️ Thank you 😊
Hello dreemer,
This is a sad yet enthralling story, I can feel the emotions behind it, exhaustion from it all. Thanks for this piece..
Waltzed in through Dreemport..enjoy the rest of your day.
Oh thank you very much. I really appreciate you ❤️
😍😍
Alright, mind-blown! I mean, I wasn't sure what I was gonna expect until boom, you dropped it there for us that she's actually dead. Well played Ma'am 👏. This is so emotional.❤️❤️
Mmm, I wonder. Does Beethoven pieces help write stories better🤔? PS; I'm a classical music fan and Moonlight sonata 3rd movement is a favorite😁. Keep up the good work🙌
You listen to classics?! Ha! It depends on the story and the mood for me. Rage had a different inspiration. Got it from Taylor Swift. Would you be a kind gentleman and recommend some pieces for me???
Oh my... Deraaa! This was hauntingly poignant, and beautifully written. The shared moments are sobering, sad... very moving. Until the point that Paul enters the room, you lead us to believe that he is the one who is passed, but as soon as he enters, you show us his grief and we then get the sense that it is she that has passed. And this switch made me go back and read from the beginning again to appreciate everything from her perspective as the one who is leaving. An excellent write. I was enthralled. I also listened to Moonlight Sonata as recommended, whilst reading. What at stunning musical backdrop to set the tone for this glimpse into Magdalene and Paul's lives. I think @creatr gave you some wonderful guidance too. Have you tried zoho writer before? I have just discovered it. It covers spelling, grammar and style. Quite interesting! It is free to use. I came to your post from Dreemport. !PIZZA !ALIVE
@deraaa! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @samsmith1971. (8/10)
The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want.
Oh Thank you so much Sam. Is it a web app? I'll try it out... I thank you very much. I love getting observations like that. It helps in perfecting Craft.
Not sure if there's an app, I was just searching for the best grammar checkers and found the website. It seems pretty good for a free version.
Okay. Thank you. Will try it out
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Wow! I literally couldn't stop reading this dear friend. Bit by bit you did justice and took time to make the whole narration Soo real and very relatable.
It was nice if you to share such a piece with us.
Thanks for sharing dear friend.
Thank you very much. I appreciate you ❤️
Congratulations, @deraaa!
Your story is part of the The Ink Well Highlights Magazine #68:
https://peakd.com/hive-170798/@theinkwell/the-ink-well-highlights-magazine-68
Wow I was a bit lost there😵. It's such a sad story🤧
Got something to think about as I sleep now😭
😂😂Thank you for reading😂
Wow! I am truly impressed - this story is both touching and imaginative :) I hope they will meet again in the afterlife
I found your post via Dreemport 🙌
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Thank you 😊❣️
Hi @deraaa
I loved the way you described the scenario and the emotional atmosphere of the emptiness left by someone who is no longer with you.
It's easy to tune into the sad and melancholic message of the story.
Thanks for sharing this short story.
Thank you so much for your kind words!
I was captivated by your story, it was beautiful how you described everything I observed. I was very excited to read it. It was very tender at the end.
I congratulate you
Greetings and blessings 😊
Thank you❤️😁
You have such a beautiful way with words. I was taken on the journey with Magdelene and felt the nostalgia of the room she shared with Paul. Such a poignant piece. 💛
Thank you very much! ❤️😊