Sitting on my couch at home, my mind wanders between thoughts that always end up with her, the reason for my depressed state in the last few weeks. I don't know why I said so many things to her after I saw her dancing at that party we went to together. I may have overstated things, after all, what is a simple dance? Rossane was having fun and I spent the whole party sitting around, drinking. Wasn't it natural for her to have fun if she had a boyfriend who couldn't dance?
At the party I just watched her from the distance of my table. Every time she looked at me she smiled and invited me with a wave of her hand to the dance floor. With my glass in my right hand, I smiled back and told her no, she should enjoy herself. Several songs went by and the night progressed unstoppable. The DJ began to play hits from the 80's, a sign that the dawn was approaching. The next thing I remember is the peculiar sound of drums of the song Maniac. Things began to distort in my mind from that moment on, as a long sip of my Johnny Walker was the last thing I retain as a clear image.
Then flashes. And her in the distance. A flickering light. Her dancing possessed. Her curls bouncing in space. The disturbing light again. My eyes burning. Her legs. My pupils adjusting to the flickering light. And to her divine legs. Her ebony body draws circles with her limbs. Rossane looks like an angel. All around static. She devours glances. I feel a warmth then. People smile at her. My blood burns. I take momentum and get up as best I can. I feel fatigued. I sweat. That's when the light comes back unwelcome and I stumble over a table of a couple.
The next thing I remember is Rossane's smiling face and next to her a man with long hair combed in a perfect braid. They both hold out their hands to help me up from the floor. Again I feel helpless. With one swipe I dodge the help and stagger to my feet. I then take Rossane by the hand and lead her towards the entrance of the bar we were in. I don't remember exactly what I said to her, but in my bearded state I must have felt insecure, so nothing good must have come out of my head. She asked me to calm down, but I didn't listen. I was upset. She got so upset with the last thing I said that she called for a cab and made me go home alone.
I have called her several times and she hasn´t answered. I went to her apartment and she wasn't there. I have no idea where Rossane might be. I wonder if her silence is punishment for alcohol-induced immaturity. I don't know if she will come back, but I don't know if I should keep insisting. Two months with her and she remains a mystery to me, because since I met her one morning at a fair in the city center, my world has remained static while she dances. I must learn to dance...
Todo alrededor estático y ella danza...
Sentado en el sillón de mi casa, mi mente divaga entre pensamientos que siempre concluyen en ella, el motivo de mi estado depresivo de las últimas semanas. No sé por qué le dije tantas cosas luego de que la vi bailando en esa fiesta a la que fuimos juntos. Puede que haya sobredimensionado las cosas, a fin de cuentas, ¿qué es un simple baile? Rossane se divertía y yo me pasé toda la fiesta sentado, bebiendo. ¿No era natural que se divirtiera si tenía un novio que no sabía bailar?
En la fiesta solo me dediqué a observarla desde la distancia de mi mesa. Cada vez que me miraba sonreía y me invitaba con un gesto de su mano a la pista. Yo con el vaso en la diestra le devolvía la sonrisa y le decía que no, que disfrutara ella. Pasaron varias canciones y la noche avanzaba indetenible. El Dj comenzó a largar éxitos de los años 80, señal de que se acercaba la madrugada. Lo próximo que recuerdo es el peculiar sonido de drums de la canción Maniac. Las cosas comenzaron a distorsionarse en mi mente a partir de ese momento, pues un largo sorbo de mi Johnny Walker fue lo último que conservo como imagen clara.
Luego flashazos. Y ella a lo lejos. Una luz parpadeante. Ella bailando poseída. Sus rizos rebotando en el espacio. La luz molesta otra vez. Mis ojos que arden. Sus piernas. Mis pupilas adaptándose a la intermitencia de la luz. Y a sus piernas divinas. Su cuerpo de ébano dibuja círculos con sus extremidades. Rossane parece un ángel. Todo alrededor estático. Ella devoradora de miradas. Siento un calor entonces. La gente le sonríe. Me quema la sangre. Tomo impulso y me levanto como puedo. Me siento fatigado. Sudo. Es entonces cuando la luz vuelve inoportuna y tropiezo con una mesa de una pareja.
Lo próximo que recuerdo es el rostro de Rossane sonriente y junto a ella un hombre con cabello largo peinado con una crencha perfecta. Ambos me extienden sus manos para ayudarme a levantar del suelo. Otra vez me siento impotente. De un manotazo esquivo la ayuda y me incorporo dando tumbos. Tomo entonces a Rossane de la mano y la llevo hacia la entrada del bar en el que estábamos. No recuerdo exactamente lo que le dije, pero en mi estado de beodez debí sentirme inseguro, por lo que nada bueno debió salir de mi cabeza. Ella me pidió que me calmara, pero no le hice caso. Estaba alterado. Ella se molestó tanto con lo último que le dije que pidió un taxi y me hizo regresar solo a casa.
La he llamado varias veces y no contesta. Fui a su departamento y no estaba allí. No tengo idea de dónde pueda estar Rossane. Me pregunto si su silencio es el castigo ante la inmadurez provocada por el alcohol. No sé si volverá, pero tampoco si debiera seguir insistiendo. Dos meses junto a ella y sigue siendo un misterio para mí, porque desde que la conocí una mañana de feria en el centro de la ciudad, mi mundo se ha mantenido estático mientras ella danza. Debo aprender a danzar...
Thanks for reading! 🙌
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Text by the author, @garorant.
Cover image from Alex Simplifier on Pexels.
Originally written in spanish and translated with Deepl.
All rights reserved ©, 2023.
https://reddit.com/r/escribir/comments/15kjlou/todo_estático_alrededor_y_ella_danza/
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Pues no seas patón (patón de no saber bailar, no de pato) y aprende, así no dejas a la muchacha bailando sola, que feo... 😉
Jajajaj esto es ficción nomás 😂
Estás rapidísima leyendo posts 🕵️
Jaaja la ficción siempre tiene algo de real jaja, si soy rápida leyendo. Es que justo entre y me salió el tuyo.
Jajaja me detectaste! Pues en el HiveCubaCon si ponen un casino te enseño mis habilidades casinescas 😂
Jajajaja ahí la que se va a sentar con el trago a ver bailar a los demás voy a ser yo!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Me has hecho reir. Te metiste en el personaje 🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂 si, yo también me ando riendo. Bueno nada, al menos nos divertimos un rato con tu publicación, que no era cómica precisamente...
$PIZZA slices delivered:
@garorant(1/15) tipped @alicia2022
garorant tipped jordy0827
garorant tipped ceciliajess
alicia2022 tipped garorant
Wao! Que bonito. Me encantó, escribe más porfa, lo haces muy bien, no pude parar hasta el final. Tendrá esta historia segunda parte 🤔 Espero que aprenda a danzar!
No sé si tendrá segunda parte. Quizá cuando el protagonista aprenda a bailar! 😂
Me alegro que la lectura te haya mantenido enganchada hasta el final. Fue uno de mis propósitos cuando estaba escribiendo.
!PIZZA
Thank you for writing in The Ink Well.
You bring us a relatively short story focused entirely on narrative. Remember that it is important to balance the trio of narrative, action, and dialogue very carefully so that the reader can be drawn into and along with the story as it progresses. You want to immerse your reader rather than simply tell them everything that is happening as it happens. You may find this link to some resources helpful in this regard.
https://peakd.com/hive-170798/@theinkwell/writing-tip-of-the-week-26-action-dialog-and-narrative-the-dynamic-trio
I highly appreciate these suggestions as I post my writings, I know is a request for the contest the mixture among narrative, action, and scene, but my story was intentionally wrote in a narrative way in this occasion. I enjoyed the process and the result of immerse the reader was satisfied as I could check from Cecilia who couldn't stop reading from the very beginning to the end 😁
Me encantó el relato, la forma de presentarlo, el uso del lenguaje y la descripción tan limpia que hiciste... Felicitaciones....
La ficción encierra atisbos de realidad...
Ubico dos hechos en tu narración que te describen mi querido Ale!!!
Un abrazo.
!PIZZA
!PGM
Un ojo perspicaz lleva usted, mi estimada Alicia. 😁
Muchas gracias por detenerte a leer y ya te preguntaré qué cosas me describen en el post 🕵️
!PIZZA
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