Great story. So great it left me wanting more. (I'm a sucker for these types of stories 😅).
I love the gender dynamics in this text as well. I've never really touched gender in my stories because I find the theme so daunting, but you handle it with care here - at least that's how I felt, not really qualified to talk on that though.
I loved your dialogue as well. Never felt stilted. I always try to do that in my dialogue as well, making it as natural sounding as possible.
My only criticism is your punctuation. A lot of sentences run longer than they should, and things that should get more emphasis don't. That's easily fixed in drafting so no biggie. 😉
Keep writing! Peace.
A lot of fo sentences" especially Fo. 😅.Thank you @grocko. Of course this is fun, and you have reminded me of the fun again. If you may know, what is meant by "
Haha, that's misspelled, the "fo" is not supposed to be there. 😂
What I meant by that sentence is that the sentences are longer than they should be. They need breaks in-between to break up the pacing. And sometimes the breaks are there but no emphasis is needed, ya know?
The punctuation is there to guide the reader. To orient him in a certain direction and make them feel the feelings you want them to feel.
It's just practice, like with everything in writing. 🙂
😁
Oh, ha-ha, I thought my translation machine was broken. Your suggestions are quite good and full of enthusiasm, I like it, but I prefer that style 😉.
I will also not play in the realm of non-formal word writing in writing stories. Btw, I think you are the inventor of the fo writing technique earlier 😅. Thank you for stopping @grocko. Keep writing and lets learn.