The Inkwell prompt #61. Puppy Love

in The Ink Well3 years ago (edited)

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This week’s prompt: Happiness

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Puppy Love

“ I’m just telling you that She broke my heart.

On a blustery day in late September Sasha left me standing at the altar with a ring in my hand.
Who would do such a thing, hey? But people do, they do…
At the time, I didn’t feel my heart at all, there was no stab of pain; just red-faced embarrassment. Good Lord, not even Gary, my best man could look me in the eye. Onlookers became bystanders to my shame. Quietly, but with a collective conscience, they hung their heads, but stole sidelong glances, furtively, as if I were bleeding to death in front of them rather than just playing the stooge.

It was so odd really, because all I could think about was how gorgeous the flowers were. Sasha had demanded a combination of pink, violet and white roses; the exquisite petals were everywhere, wafting their perfume at me, mocking me with their enchanting aura of hope. The symbols of love, so full of bloom.

I hate roses, you know, I can’t go anywhere near them; my nightmares are overloaded with their fragrance...and, of course, I don’t sleep well at all, not at all. But, who would, would you?

Fragments of my effort to disappear invaded my reality for months after the display: Tearing the flower from my pocket, Gary guiding me forcibly, trampling petals, Gary shoving me into his car, the pale orange sun blinking weakly, the rain splattering the window wipers, the slick tarmac, the uninviting warmth of our apartment. She haunted me in that space for weeks, floating over my coffee cup in the mornings, reaching for me across the sheets at night.

I moved rather swiftly, obviously. But she still taunted me, ethereal and wispy, delicate and smooth. I learnt not to turn around when I heard her laughter, I taught myself to stop looking for her.

She was toxic, poisonous, but I dreamt about her for months, I missed her. I know how insane that is, you don’t have to tell me.

So, anyway, I shouldn’t be pouring my heart out to you like this, I'm sure you’ve got better things to do. Haven’t you boy? But, thank you for paying such close attention, thank you so much for listening to my drivel. You’re so cute, you know that don’t you? I love your ears, I love you soulful eyes, l love...”

“Are you okay?” I turned away from the cage to see who had overheard my conversation with the fluffy black and white puppy.

“I’m just trying to see if we communicate well, see if he understands and likes me before I subject him to my company twenty-four-seven. Are you also looking for a dog to take home?” My cheeks flamed, but I stood my ground.

“Yes, but I’ve been eyeing the one you seem to have fallen for. I met him yesterday and decided to come back for him today.” She brushed her hair back with a rather fetching gesture. She was tall and willowy, bright chestnut hair glowing with radiant gleams of red under the sun. She was grinning at me, warm brown eyes sparkling.

“Look, you seem to have connected with him, it’s almost as if he’s been waiting for you. You take him, I’m sure I can find another puppy that’s just as cute.”

“That’s sweet of you, but you don’t have to feel sorry for me because of what you’ve just heard.” I felt my head droop slightly.

“Oh, no, I do, and believe me, although I can’t say that I’ve been through something as bad as you have, I’m also trying to recover from a wrecked relationship. I’m trying to move on and conquer my demons, too.” She looked a little pensive after sharing this nugget.

I looked at her and it felt as if the sun had just come out.

“I tell you what. I’ll take the mutt home with me, but you’ve got to agree to come over to my place and visit, often. You’ve got to agree to come and help me when I take him for walks in the park. You’ve got to help me check him out of this cage right now, and perhaps we could do coffee to work out a schedule. For the puppy, you understand?” I nodded at the cage and cast my eye at the puppy.

He barked, scratched at the cage and wagged his tail, in that order.

...and, like magic, she laughed and came over to help me release him from his confines.

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Thoroughly enjoyed this Susan🤗 And I agree with @litguru

She haunted me in that space for weeks, floating over my coffee cup in the mornings, reaching for me across the sheets at night.

This here... ☝️magnificent!!! I read it and reread it... it is just perfect. !LUV !ALIVE

And the ending...cheeky, fun... loved it❣️

You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE(7/10)@itsostylish! to your account on behalf of @samsmith1971.

The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe
through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want.

There is some excellent prose and descriptions in this puppy love tale.

She haunted me in that space for weeks, floating over my coffee cup in the mornings, reaching for me across the sheets at night.

The story starts melancholic and somber but then brightens as if the sun parted through the clouds.

On some parts I had difficulty determining who the speaker was. For example,

I looked at her and it felt as if the sun had just come out.

“I tell you what. I’ll take the mutt home with me, but you’ve got to agree to come over to my place and visit, often. You’ve got to agree to come and help me when I take him for walks in the park. You’ve got to help me check him out of this cage right now, and perhaps we could do coffee to work out a schedule. For the puppy, you understand?”

Adding a 'he said' or 'she said' after the first sentence would make it easier to follow. Sometimes this is not necessary because of the flow of the conversation, but when there's a break in that flow, adding this bit of extra information can be helpful to the reader.

This is was an entertaining read. :)

Oh, I’ll add your suggestions. Just one thing

I looked at her and it felt as if the sun had just come out.

Is not spoken😊❤️🤔❤️😊😊
Thanks @litguru

Ah yes, I should've clarified further but got lazy ;) I included the first paragraph to add context as follows:

I looked at her and it felt as if the sun had just come out.

This sentence focuses the action on two characters, the narrator and the lady. So in the next paragraph, it's not clear who is speaking and using 'she said' could be useful.

“I tell you what," she said playfully caressing the puppy. "I’ll take the mutt home with me, but you’ve got to agree to come over to my place and visit..."

On the other hand, if the preceding paragraph had focused the action on a single character, then 'she said' might not be necessary.

The sunlight streamed through the window, and she looked at me with bright eyes.
"I tell you what. I’ll take the mutt home with me, but you’ve got to agree to come over to my place and visit..."

In this second instance, the action is focused on her, and so further clarification of the speaker may be not necessary. Less is more in this case because fewer words give vigor to one's writing.

...and, like magic, she laughed and came over to help me release him from his confines.

Goodness, I thought that was enough to demo that HE was taking the puppy home and SHE was going to help HIM.
@litguru I’ll look at it carefully. Haha, didn’t mean to confuse you😊❤️🤔

HAPPY EASTER 🐣❤️😊😊🐣🐣

!ALIVE

Thank you!

The structure of the paragraphs works either way. The reader has enough clues to piece it together. It all depends on the flow you'd like.

Happy Easter! 🙏

🤔😊🥰🐣

!ALIVE

You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE(2/10)@litguru! to your account on behalf of @itsostylish.

The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe
through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want.

You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE(1/10)@litguru! to your account on behalf of @itsostylish.

The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe
through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want.

You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE(1/10)@litguru! to your account on behalf of @itsostylish.

The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe
through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want.

I have fallen in love with this story. Even though I had been tipped off to the presence of the puppy by the title, I had moved away from my computer for a bit. When I came back to read, I had forgotten the title and simply dove in.

You’re so cute, you know that don’t you? I love your ears, I love you soulful eyes, l love...”

This part brought the title back to me and I laughed out loud. You had me fooled in the most wonderful way, and I remembered - ah yes! Puppy Love.

The ending was perfection. This was enjoyable on every level!

Thank you @stormcharmer I’m glad you enjoyed it❤️🤗💕


You have written a beautiful story that goes from hopelessness to illusion. A shared puppy is an exvcellent start.

Thanks also for your meaningful comments on fellow writers' stories .Hi @itsostylish ! Thank you for writing this beautiful story on @theinkwell.

Thank you @theinkwell this is one of the best communities on Hive

That's right, the puppy shared will do more in filling the space.
Btw, people walking away at the 11th hour from being wedded is very very unlikely to happen and it's not something that anyone should think of doing.
Nice story.

Yes, it is a terrible thing to do, but it happens 😊❤️🤔

I don't know if i was just tripping a little bit but for a second there I felt as though the narrator was talking to me right until

"Are you okay?”

Those lines popped up lol😂.

What a nice and Charming story you have written here and I certainly hope that the two character's bond over their puppy love evolves into something much more... Romantic 😁.

Thank you @zeraton ❤️🤗💕🤗❤️


My pleasure.You're welcome @itsostylish

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 3 years ago  Reveal Comment

Glad you liked it, thank you😊❤️🤔