It was another regular morning, me having little expectation of the day and a God that seemed to be too busy to attend to the desire of one speck of being on the vast surface of this footstone of his called earth. Years of unending disappointment had taught me to expect very little from this life that seems to have a plan of its own for me. As I made my way to work, I couldn't help contemplating what could be if things were a bit different.
On getting to work, having set up, I logged into my Kofa portal and checked my admission status. For the time, the response wasn't "You are not yet admitted". You might be forgiven for thinking that means I have been admitted, but wrong; well partially. I had been admitted, not to study medicine and surgery that I applied for, but to study Aquaculture and Fisheries Management ( which is just a fancy way of saying Fisheries, which was a course to be scorned on).
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I didn't know exactly how I felt at that moment, but I do remember a kind of numbness. I managed to go through the motions of my job for the rest of that day. On getting home, I told my family. Mum was elated and celebrated with dancing. I didn't quite get what she was dancing about. In the days that followed, I made my peace with it, accepted it, and left for school. It's been what; five, or six years now, and I finally understand what she was celebrating.
She was celebrating my leaving. Not because she was happy to be rid of me, but because she was happy to see one more child of hers leave the shackles of the man she has come to call husband through many years of cohabiting. She was celebrating the fact that of the hundreds of thousands that applied to the University of Benin that year, I was considered worthy to be given a slot regardless of where.
In these years, I have studied that woman and have come to understand that despite the tragedy and pain she has had to deal with in her life and marriage, she has always found a way to keep her joy. I wished I had paid attention earlier, my life would not have gotten so dark as it was a year back. She finds the little things worth celebrating; that's her way.
In the preceding months that followed the acquisition of that knowledge, I have learned to appreciate and celebrate the little wins in life. The joy of having true friends, of knowing you are not alone, of sewing a new day, of having food on your table, no matter how little, of knowing you don't have it worse than every other person, of having the luxury to go out and play football, of walking with my own two feet, of such, I have come to celebrate; every day.
I did eventually ask her why it was so. I am not sure what I was expecting when I asked as we don't usually talk about such things. Her reply was pretty brief; "All things work together for our good". Feeling witty that day, I almost replied "I am not so sure about that", but I did well to not forget that despite my supposed "education", I am still a Nigerian child, and as such would rather walk into a blazing flame than talk back at an adult, especially a parent.
Since then, for some weird reasons, I have found a reason to be happy in everything, even the seeming misfortunes, because?? Well, everything works together for my good. I know what you are thinking; things must be looking up for me now and everything must be falling into place for me. Well, things are by no means better, but I am far happier than I thought possible.
This made me laugh 🤣.
To some of our parents, the deep things don't matter to them, all they know is "my son is admitted and studying in school". This alone make them happy
Finish.. That's all that matters
The tenderness you express towards your mother here is gorgeous. You took the time to see things about her life that easily could have gone unnoticed with her positive nature. Yet, you looked below the surface and found a source of strength in her. One which you learned your own version of, and seem to have done well with. A great success can also be perspective, and acceptance of what we have. Thank you for sharing your story with us, don't forget to engage with at least two other members of the community as well!