Hi @jackdeathblack, thanks for sharing this interesting fantasy story in The Ink Well. We have some feedback for you.
Have you used any tools to help you find errors? The most common one is Grammarly. Another method we recommend is to draft your stories in Google docs, which will point out many of the errors to you and then you can click on them to fix them. You can read about it in our article, Help for the Grammatically Challenged. Once the story is drafted and edited, then you can paste it into your post.
Another tip is to make sure you understand how to use pronouns properly in English. It is not clear whether the blue dragon is a male or female, because you change back and forth between male (he, him, his) and female pronouns (she, her, hers).
For example:
Sapphire smiled and invited them into her nest. There she offered them food and drink and told them many stories about her life as a guardian dragon. Mark and Dylan were fascinated by everything he told them and became friends with him.
Another thing we noted is that you have some repeated phrases in your story:
Mark looked up and saw another dragon flying above them. It was a blue dragon with scales as shiny as ice. The blue dragon came between them and the red dragon.
and the red dragon.
And with that said, he opened his mouth and again shot a flare of flame at Mark and Dylan.
and Dylan.
We recommend reading your story carefully in order to make sure you have found any problems that will impact the quality of your writing so you can fix them before posting. Good luck and keep writing!