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RE: Fiction: Eclipse (Eclipse) [EN/ES]

in The Ink Well5 days ago

A wonderfully conceived story @rinconpoetico7. I loved the way you weaved the prompts together. Magical addictive intoxicating berries indeed 😂 I was invested in the story from the outset! Be careful to proofread and edit. You have some incorrect gender descriptions in your translation which you should aim to correct going forward and you include two versions of the same sentence in your English translation viz:

The sinners had angered the gods again and were going to exterminate them for their weakness. The sinners had angered the gods again and were going to eliminate them from the face of the earth for being weak.

We want our writers to pay keen attention to these kind of details ;-) Had you edited out this latter duplication, your story would have earned it's place as one of the best submissions of the day. Nevertheless, I thoroughly enjoyed the read. Thank you for always bringing us interesting stories to enjoy, and for supporting other members of the community.

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Thanks for stopping by and leaving your valuable comment. The truth is that I had missed that little detail. I will edit it.

I'm so glad you liked the story. I really enjoyed writing it and letting my imagination run wild.

A hug!