You relate the horror of this strange event really well. We are drawn into a horrifyingly unusual and unsettling circumstance, there is so much you could have done to make this story shine. However, you settle for a dream. Somehow, that’s a cop out. You leave us feeling as if you couldn’t come up with a satisfactory conclusion. You write well and you should embrace your imagination and avoid cliches.
I had to give it an alternate ending. The original story which I wrote about two months ago was terribly long- a five thousand word long story, and a breath taking one.
It didn't end as a dream in the real time line either. T'was full of psychological drama and hallucinations plus some bloody stuffs which wouldn't be allowed here on the inkwell community. I just had to look for the easy way out.
Thanks for the feedback. I sincerely appreciate it.