I also have close people who have these qualities of complaining about their problems/addictions but each time we meet and chat, it’s the same. They don’t change and if I try to give an advice they either don’t say it’s not going to work or even might get offended. That makes me think that these kind of people are pretty comfortable where they are and they are just talking out loud to get some relief. I used to think that I’m helping them by letting them to just talk, but then it gets tiring, like listening to the same song over and over again. To sum up, I only listen to my closest friends and relatives now, and if they don’t want an advice, I just let them talk cause I know they can’t afford a psychologist, and they are using me as a person they can trust and be vulnerable with. If it becomes to much for me I can always space out. I think close relatives deserve some of my time, and I know when I feel sad and need a support they’ll listen to me and might give a good advice.
I don't spend much time with people who complain often. It is tiring, so I disengage and then only get them at their best, when they are least likely to be whiny. If they are actually doing something about their complaints (rare), I have plenty of time for them. If I do this in my real world, why would I spend my time listening to complaints from the same people here?