The lock-down 3.0 in India amid corona, while the old were frightened about the virus, youth had just got their dream come true; a very long vacation. But as they say too much is too bad, the same implied with the holidays too. After spending a couple of weeks with rejoice now boredom had taken over the lives and was the only loyal partner left.
Another day of lockdown, rising at noon as the mornings had nothing to offer but empty online lists. With a glance at my roomie’s lousy face, ‘Already a bad way to fight the boredom; God bless me and his clumsy face!’, I whispered. Perhaps, what could be worse than caging ourselves like criminals while the real one; the Corona is free. The Qayamah (apocalypse) effect; I thought. Life seemed nothing but an old boring movie cassette played on repeat. The days were all alike. Eating, flattering with women on social media, smoking a pack of cigarettes and repeat the same stuff whole day long.
But today, I woke up to do something different out of the routine, flattering with the same old women wasn’t exciting now. Tinder, a good option for the hi-fi candidates but I didn’t belong to that group. It didn’t bring me matches, it was like expecting a desert to be generous. Maybe PUBG, while is almost like a dating app now but who’d give up the game for a woman. Nothing struck my mind, so I called out for help. Prashanth, my roommate, too was one among the million victims of boredom. I explained him the query and got him agreed to break the routine. Now there are two good for nothing brains at work. And within seconds, Prashanth came up with an idea.
‘Buddy listen, why don’t you dress my hair today? I have been seeking to have a haircut but there are no barbers out there due to lock-down, the job is on demand and I’ll pay you for that.’ — he said.
‘Oh yeah! And I would carve a dick on your head.’ ‘Cool! Isn’t it? Produce some good ideas, you junk! don’t just try to fill your own cup.’
‘Damp asshole.’
‘Yeah, exactly think that way ‘damp asshole’ look how creative this shit is!’- I replied.
After an hour of consistent brain stroking, our mastermind Prashanth finally came up with something unique.
‘Let’s swap our phones.’ — he said.
‘What? Are you crazy? And what would that do? In fact you have a better device than mine.’
‘Have faith in my brilliance son. Our devices will work as dating devices for each other.’ — he said trying to create some impact.
‘Get on to the point, Holy Father.’
‘Alright Son, listen up! All the single women on your contact list are my matches and all the women on my contact list are your matches. And yeah spare my family. — he said.
‘Wow Motherfucker! This is ridiculously amazing. I am up for it.’
It was around 2PM and we quickly exchanged our so-called dating devices. He just snatched away my phone as though he were waiting for this moment since ages. I had his phone and it was the moment of glory. Time to show some real flirting to the kid. I opened his contact list and started searching for someone worth flirting. Ten minutes of analytical scrolling and brought me nothing. All women on his phone were either committed or too old to flirt with. Absolute disgrace.
While I was to recheck contact list the second time, nigga had already found a girl and went past the introduction.
‘So, how’s it going?’ — I inquired.
‘Yes, just killing it.’ — he said proudly.
‘Whom you got?’
‘Don’t ask dude, but let me tell you, your last breakup was really fair and justified.’ — he replied.
‘What do you mean justified?’
‘It’s your ex, asshole’- he said.
‘What? And she agreed to talk to you? I don’t believe’. — I said confidently.
‘I didn’t even have to flirt with her and she agreed to have a talk from my own number. It took months for you to get her and your father; as in me, has got her within minutes. Talent speaks, dude’ — he said this showing his conversation.
‘Good that I broke up. Thank God!’- I said.
‘SHE BROKE UP’- he corrected.
‘Whatever fucker it’s all alike. I got saved and now it’s your turn to piss blood’.
I have to keep up my esteem. I can’t afford to lose to him, I thought. And I went through his contacts again, and this time with more keenness. But would the outcome change? No! I didn’t want to commit a crime flirting with committed women. What if she falls? Not gonna happen anyway it’s just over optimism. No match here and I can’t ask for my phone back. It would seem like I am jealous. I sneaked into his gallery. Let’s see what it has got. Facebook images, Instagram images, who’s interested. Screenshots, screen recordings, WhatsApp images. Yes, WhatsApp videos, the forwards are often good. I scrolled through the videos judging their content by their covers. A beautiful girl. Click. It was a tik tok video, and the girl in it was really adorable. Her work in the video was ordinary but she was extraordinary. An ordinary tiktok video in WhatsApp videos, she must be Prashanth’s friend, she might have sent him the video, I thought. She was so beautiful that I rushed up to him to the other room, where he was digitally hypnotizing my ex-girlfriend.
‘You know her?’ — I asked, showing him the video.
‘Yeah, she’s Anjum my schoolmate, but who asked you to go through my stuff?’- he asked with fury.
‘Excellent, you got her number?’
‘You gonna flirt with her?’
‘I never flirt, I just talk.’
‘She won’t fall anyway. She may be committed IDK and all the buttering goes in vain with her.’- he told.
‘Who’d fall for your cut-rate butter.’
‘Well your ex did.’
‘Just tell me the contact name asshole.’
Anjum’s a beautiful girl, her eyes were so alluring in the video. I couldn’t help but fall for her beauty. I was desperate.
‘As you wish. ‘Oldie Classmate’ her contact’.
Not a second more to spare. I couldn’t wait to talk to her. I had butterflies in my stomach. I was shivering out of excitement and my fingers shivered as they touched the screen. Main screen, apps, my eyes eagerly searching for the green color icon, I clicked on the messages, and then the weather app. Why are there so many green icons in here? With absolute disgust, I came in this time and clicked correctly. ‘Oldie Classmate’, yes got her. Wait! what do I text her? A pickup line won’t work, it’s his phone and it would portray me as a creep at the first place. I thought for a while and texted ‘Assalamualaikum’ as she was a Muslim like me and that would be best way to start. Waiting for her reply, I would constantly stare at the screen my eyes hurt but she wouldn’t reply. She was offline and I waited for her to come but she wouldn’t show up. So meanwhile I inquired with Prashanth about her.
‘We were classmates in 10th grade and we still are good friends. She’s a pious girl, won’t fall for our cheap tricks. And she’s already rejected many.’- He said.
This made me a bit hesitant but my track record was splendid, so his words didn’t bring me down. I loved challenges though. Coaxing my ex-girlfriends was not an easy task, they all were challenging and would never fall for anyone. But I somehow cracked the walls. These incidents kept motivating me whenever I came across someone who seemed impossible to win over.
‘Waalaikumsalam’ — the message popped up.
That made me ecstatically happy. My heart started thumping so loud that, the sound could probably reach her ears through phone.
‘This is Sohail, Prashanth’s friend’.
‘Oh, Hi!’
‘Yeah! Hii, actually he is busy on my phone, we just had this fun thought earlier this morning, putting up conversations with random people on our phones. Hope you don’t mind.’ — I explained.
‘No, it’s fine, that’s cool in fact.’ — she said.
We spoke of how this lock-down has affected our lives. Then we shared our hobbies and careers. She was so polite and sweet. Would never hurt you with her texts. Felt as though I were chatting with an angel. She was so amazing. After a short chit-chat I realized that the phone was not mine and I had to return it sometime soon. So, without any further delay, I asked her if I could text her from my phone?
‘NO’ — she said.
That was not a good idea I realized. I could have extended the conversation and then asked her and that would have brought better results, I thought. But that was really disappointing. I never expected a ‘No’ for this. It took a few moments for me to register this ‘No’ from her. But the fear of losing her had already taken over me. Bulldozing for this was not a good idea. So, to pacify the situation I had to act normal and keep talking some interesting stuff. So, I asked her about her friendship with Prashanth. How they knew each other and how it led to a good friendship. Although I don’t give a damn about it, but building a conversation was crucial here. And eventually I normalized the conversation after which she had gone for lunch. To get her on my phone was not easy, it required Prashanth’s help which was not easy too, because he’d be booked if he helped me. I tried to traduce him with various things, cigarettes, joints but none of them would work. But it was not so long before my brain could produce a thrilling way to sway him. I offered to dress his hair. The hair dressers were ‘high on demand’ amid lockdown, as he said. He agreed to this and appeared with a trimmer and handed it to me. Soon I took off my shirt and put on my vest, and was all set to dress his hair. I had never done this before. But upon asking I said that I had been doing this at my hostel during school days and it was a piece of cake for me. And the poor guy believed. I was nervous but I held the trimmer firm and switched it on, without any second thought I had that thing on his head. Cripppp… it created a clean patch and it could not be revoked or fixed. Damn! I burst out of laughter looking at that tragic patch on his head. He was miserable and started yelling at me as though I castrated his *****. But I promised to fix it. Thankfully the patch was on the side of his head, so I could shave the whole sides off and make it look stylish. That was hilarious.
Now, he had to keep his promise so he asked her if I could text her on Facebook? She said she doesn’t use that anymore. So, Instagram? He asked. And luckily, she said yes. Her Instagram was just about religious posts. None of the posts were her pictures, she seemed too reserved. But she was not aware that I had already seen her tiktok clip. And ball was in my court finally. I could finally chat with her from my phone and that was so satisfying to me. We talked about the corona status in our respective places, previous relationships and so on. She didn’t have faith in love, she considered the whole concept of love a baloney. That wasn’t exciting. So, I decided to play.
‘Have you ever heard this song?’ (the song in her tik tok video)
‘Yes, I did. Songs is are my major turn on.’- she said.
‘Lately, I have noticed the song’s got few beautiful tiktoks for it’.
‘Oh wait, did Prashanth show you the video?’
‘What video?’
‘Nothing just a video I sent to him’
‘You made it?’
‘No, that’s someone on tiktok. Did Prashanth show you that? Don’t lie.’
‘No, he didn’t show me any video. What are you talking about?’
She seemed so serious about this but I wouldn’t stop.
‘Oh, it’s okay, relax.’– she said.
‘But why’d you ask?’
‘Never mind, let’s talk something else’
‘But the videos, I must tell you, they were really beautiful.’
‘Oh really? I’d like to watch one of them. Do send me.’
‘I can’t actually I saw them on Instagram and they must have reached the depths in the news feed scroll by now, who’d dig them now. But why are you so bothered about that?’
‘Just intrigued! You’ve been bragging so much about them, so I thought to watch one of em’.’
‘By the way, do you make tiktoks?’
‘Once in a blue moon, but I keep them to myself ‘private’… self-entertainment.’
‘The video I have seen had this watermark of its account it was ‘anjum00 something?’ She was so beautiful. Is that you by chance?’
‘WTF, enough of bluffing now. Tell me, did Prashanth show you the video?’
‘No, he didn’t I swear, it’s mere co incidence.’
‘He didn’t? And you predicted my tik-tok ID like that? I will ask him myself.’
She then went back with tremendous rage to text Prashanth. I asked him to pacify the situation and deny her allegations. She kept asking him deliberately if he had shown me the video but all he would say is ‘No Anjum, I didn’t’. I thought the denial would calm down things but she turned back more stubborn than ever.
‘He said he didn’t show you any such video, in fact I deleted it the very moment he had completed watching it. Now simply answer this ‘where did you find the video?’
‘On Instagram, maybe someone picked up some random video from tiktok and posted it on Instagram for its beauty and content so relax and be proud that people are liking it.’
‘Why don’t you understand, my account is private for a reason, how could someone steal and post it on a public platform without my consent?’ (sobbing)
I felt so sorry to have put her in such dilemma. She was very terrified, of how her video leaked out. Although it was clean but she had her insecurities, maybe afraid of her family, or her over possessive boyfriend if existed, or maybe the misuse happening on internet these days but who’d exploit a tiktok video? But I couldn’t spill the truth because she had apparently deleted the video from the chat, so the question would arise ‘how?’. Although Prashanth had downloaded the video as soon as she sent it to him but she was not aware of that. She had also requested him to delete the video if it had accidentally reached his gallery. But he kept it to mock her as she often mocked him for his cringe worthy tiktoks. Prashanth’s intentions were innocent. But she would lose faith in him if I spilled the truth. I had to continue lying to her.
‘What if they misuse it? They can do it in any manner I am afraid. Do you remember the name of the page that posted it? Or have you liked the video? Check if you have, you might find it in the recently liked posts.’ — she texted.
‘No, I don’t either remember the page’s name or have I liked the video for sure. But relax Anjum, that’s no big deal, it’s so common, tiktok videos are all over the internet and who has the time to vandalize you?’
‘You don’t understand.’ -she said this before she went offline.
Looking at her I felt the need to gather the guts somehow, to tell her the truth or she’d die of anxiety. But that was not easy the latter consequences could be worse. She could yell at me, call me a scum? She could do anything, maybe block me, which I can’t afford at this situation but I got to speak the truth. She was sobbing already. I should tell her right away. Somehow, I made up my mind and ready to confess.
‘Listen.’
‘What?’
‘You don’t have to worry about things that didn’t really happen.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Your video was not on Instagram.’
‘Really? Thank God!’
‘But where’d you find it?’
‘Did Prashanth show you?’
‘No, he didn’t.’
‘Then how the hell did you manage to get the video?’
‘The other day, before I’d text you, I sneaked into his gallery and saw your video there. Then I went up to Prashanth to inquire about you and even he was surprised to see the video. He said he never saved it and wondered how reached the gallery. It was me who intruded your privacy, I am so sorry, I was not supposed to do that.’
‘But why bhaiya?’ (elder brother in Hindi)
‘I would’ve never spoke to you if you weren’t Prashanth’s friend. I don’t put up conversations with strangers as you do because I am afraid. I sent him the video with a trust. I trusted that he would keep it to himself and would never entertain it in a group of people.’
That really hurt me, I felt like a criminal at that point, that was so embarrassing.
‘I am extremely very sorry; I am very regretful for this.’
‘Bhaiya, we are not safe as women, we have our insecurities, we are victimized everywhere, outside, on internet, and even at our homes. We’re not secure. Imagine your sister’s a victim of internet vandalism, not to be so, but just imagine how’d you feel?’
‘It’s so scary but I wouldn’t do any harm. I never even thought of doing such an act.’
‘I know you wouldn’t but you are a stranger to me yet am sharing my insecurities. Please understand.’
‘Yes, and I am Sorry Once Again.’
‘I am sorry too; I’ve said too much for nothing.’
……………………………………………………………
They say women are a mystery, you meditate upside down for ages yet you won’t understand them. But the irony here is a man never gives her what she asks for on face but tries to figure out what she doesn’t ask for. All they ask for is some respect and appreciation for their work. And they plead for their safety, yet no man offers that to them but we make satires on understanding them.
Anjum’s content was clean and safe yet she was afraid of vandalism and defame. This is the secure environment we have created for the women. Imagine the innocent women whose private pictures are shared in groups like ‘Bois locker room’, imagine their agony, anguish and the discomfort they might have been through. If spamming private photos is so painful then imagine the level of distress a woman goes through while she’s raped. A part of our society, shame on them, garland the rapists and assaulters rather shunning them. Let’s not encourage the rape culture and not entertain eve-teasing.
“Tum samandar me kachra phekoge, kabhi na kabhi who kinaare pe aayega…. Dusro ki behno ko baap ka maal samajh k chedte ho, yaad rakha ye sitam kabhi tumhare ghar bhi ayega”
After that, I never felt like texting her with the same enthusiasm. Not because she yelled at me but for what I had done to her was not fair and I could never talk to her with same confidence. I was filled with guilt. Next time I approach a woman, I’d rather make sure she doesn’t use tiktok. And of course, would never look at her face or photos without her consent. You too follow the same and avoid yourself being friend (chutiya)-zoned or bhai (chamanchutiya)-zoned.
RESPECT WOMEN AND THEIR PRIVILEGES TOO.
SIDDIQUI
Source:- https://pixabay.com/images/id-591576/
Previously posted on medium.com https://medium.com/@dstrivingauthor/the-lock-down-love-58a98e6f8262
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