I can't recall the very first memory I had of my dad; All I remember is that he was there throughout my childhood, like a dad should be. He was a central point, dependable, hard working and generous. He was there to teach me, guide me, provide for me and yes, chastise me when I required; More often than I would like I guess, but I was a cheeky kid so deserved it and it helped shape me into who I am now.
No, I can't recall the specific moment I first recall his presence, but deep down within me I know that he was always there, from the first moment I arrived.
Memories...I don't know what it is about them that makes remembering so powerful but it is. A memory has the power to take a person back through time, good and bad times, and to gladden the heart, bring extreme happiness and pitiful sadness. It is a powerful force and I am blessed with a strong ability to recall; An amazing memory.
My dad...The most enduring memory I have of him is him at an easel, brushes and paints in hand, dabbing and stroking away at his canvas with all of his immense skill. If I close my eyes and think of my dad, that's what I see most often.
Of course I can see him clicking Lego's together with me, holding the back of my bike when I learned to ride, kicking the football...A million other things too. But art defined my dad and I'm proud to boast that he was a magnificent artist, and matched that in terms of being my dad too; He painted an excellent life us kids, and in so doing, himself also.
My dad has been brought low by dementia and has, for some time, not known who I am without a prompt.
He has serious ailments and for the last several months I had to work through day after day of medical issues, changes of medications, hospital visits and end-of-life scares that have seen me a little on edge. The nursing home where he resides, and the doctors keep me in formed though, and I am grateful for that and to have had my wife Faith at my side to assist.
The last week has brought things to a head. Friday night I had to end my cat's life, Merlin, a mate I have had for twenty two years. The following day I was told my father had stopped eating and drinking. That was five days ago.
Right now, as I type this, my dad lies in his bed, immobile and in a deep sleep. He is being given end-of-life care and will soon depart this world.
I've spent the morning on the phone speaking to the relevant people and my sister and brother from interstate are making plans to come here. I'm not sure how I feel in full yet, or how I will feel when he passes, probably much like I did when I lost my mum I suppose. Part of me wants him to release, to leave the pain and suffering behind and ascend, and part of me wants to rewind to when I was a kid and my dad seemed so strong and dependable.
Writing helps. Writing this I mean. It orders my thoughts, and of course, brings those memories flooding back to me. This is what writing has always done for me, and reading; It brings me a certain calmness; Peace I guess you could say. Memories are really just stories, and the memories I have of my childhood with my parents will stay with me forever.
As a kid I would look forward to bed time as dad would come in and tell us a story. He'd do the voices of the characters and it was always a fun adventure. I think he got too caught up in the story as they'd be full of action and excitement...Didn't he know he was supposed to be soothing us to sleep with a relaxing story? I loved it though, and can recall trying to fall asleep with images of his characters and their adventures vivid in my mind.
My dad turned eighty four last week and his adventure is coming to its final destination.
In days, possibly today, he will let go of the troubles of life and cross over to somewhere else. He will leave behind four sons and a daughter, four daughter in-laws and three grandchildren...He will move on to new adventures and I'm sure will paint a glorious world around him full of life, vibrant colour and wonder, as he did all his life.
I become more like my dad each day, and yet will never be half the man he was. You would have to know him to understand that. I may write some more about this man who has suffered so greatly, rose from extreme and brutal adversity, and painted life the way he wanted it to be...But not now.
Thank you for your patience and for indulging me this post. My responses moving forward into the next days may be slower, however I draw great strength from the community and ask that, if you feel like responding, you still do so. I will appreciate it very much.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised.
Be well
Discord: galenkp#9209
Many people don't get to feel the full presence of their heroes. But I think you have had this great chance!
I'm sure, this must be a very hard time for you brother.
I'm happy that you have a great set of memories to have for the rest of your life, and at the end of the day, that's what will be left from all of us.
May god give you the patience to get through this.
Much love for you G-DOG! <3 <3 <3
Thanks mate, for your comment and nice words. It is a tough time, and will be worse moving forward. Memories will help fill the void left behind of course, and I hope that his suffering will be over soon. He has been a good dad, but now it's time for him to move on to somewhere else.
Thanks for your message.
!ENGAGE 20
You're welcome brother! <3
Have a great rest of the week mate. I'll see you around.
ENGAGEtokens.Nice memories of your father. Sorry to hear of the loss to come and hope the next few days go as well as can be expected.
Thank you sir, much appreciated.
My dad passed away last night. He's in a better place. It's been a difficult morning in between sorting things out. Fortunately I pre-paid, and mostly arranged, his funeral a couple years ago so a meeting will take place tomorrow afternoon with the funeral home and we'll be good to go. I'm sure there'll be ups and downs moving forward but we will focus on saying farewell the best we can, then get on with remembering him for the man he was. A kind, patient, hard working, generous and polite man.
Thanks for your comments.
!ENGAGE 25
Sorry for your loss. Having things mostly pre-arranged is a help I am sure. And he is no longer suffering, so that is a positive.
Yes, his suffering is over and it was nice at the end he passed peacefully in his sleep. We will be meeting the funeral directors this afternoon but most of dad's funeral is already arranged. We are glad we did that.
Thanks for your thoughts.
ENGAGEtokens.I am saddened to read all that has been happening in your life. My thoughts are with you and your family as you travel this journey.
Hi Pooky, thanks for your kind words. My dad passed away last night and has crossed to a better place, one he always told us was better. I think he would be content with the life he lead, the children he raised and how Faith and I cared for him these last sixteen years since mum died. It has been a momentous effort as we were at no time willing to compromise on his care and we are comfortable that we did all we could do.
Thanks for your comment and thoughts.
!ENGAGE 25
ENGAGEtokens.Hi Galen.
I started in this world of crypto because my son told me, it is time to order and keep your writings, I always read and write, that helps me maintain my inner peace, I read your articles and I have skipped some of answering, I have I only slept three hours and looking for what to read I have gotten you again.
Regretted about your cat, at the time I read it and thought later I give him my words, orita is the moment. I also lost Misu when she was just a little girl and I remember him like it was yesterday.
I lost my beloved father a few years ago and I had to witness his last breath, I remember him every caress, every gesture of love without mentioning a word, he lives in me.
The pain of loss can be balanced by the joy of memories I think...This is how I have found it anyway. We have to go through bad times in life, it's unavoidable, however it makes the good times more valuable and recalling those memories can lift one when they're down, and support one when one feels like falling.
Thank you for you kind words about my best friend little Merlin and for my dad who is still with us, but not for long.
I hope you have a lovely day.
!ENGAGE 20
ENGAGEtokens.You have written this out in a lovely way. I have an image of your dad telling stories in my head, and I hope that someday my kids remember me in the same way.
Thanks Ginny, I appreciate you saying this and from what I know your children will remember in this way and so many others.
!ENGAGE 50
ENGAGEtokens.Writing has indeed almost therapeutic properties. And I admit that the power of memories is something that we yet have a grasp of how powerful it is.
It must not feel easy to go through all of this. Merlin and dad and everything. It requires a lot of mental power to maintain a positive vibe. But I think that the memories of what your father was in his good times will matter in the future.We always hold on to the little good things in our lives. It makes the dark room of our thoughts a bit more bearable.
It's not easy and I can only say that I hope it will get better in time to get over this very painful moment in your life.
Your dad's legacy is the character and education he managed to give to all of you. That will spread out through generations. Somehow, that is a form of immortality in itself for all of us. A comforting thought that our efforts will not be in vain once we reach the end.
I think each of us has a large portion of my dad within us and our personality and general traits. It would be difficult not to, and so his legacy will continue, as you say.
It's quite odd thinking that in the coming days I will have lost my last parent, although memories endure and even now things are popping into my head from the past, making me smile a little. I'm sure that will continue to happen, as it did when my mum passed away, and that's something to look forward to.
Thanks for your comment, as always.
!ENGAGE 25
I feel like words are very unnecessary now, but I feel what you say. Have a lovely day, I would lavish you with my invisible engage tokens, but I selfishly keep them for myself lol.
Thanks, I'm just about to go into that meeting with my mate at the Ferrari dealership. Gotta push on right? Have a good day. Catch ya later.
Success!! 💪💪
Yep.
ENGAGEtokens.Errghhh guess you're getting a chunk of "bad" stuff out of the way in one hit x_x
And he did the right thing, the action adventure stories are the best ;D
[hugs]
Thanks Ry. Yeah, seems like 2020 is intent upon fucking me over...Still, I'll dominate in 2021 huh?
Thanks for your thoughts.
!ENGAGE 25
You're not doing too badly now even if you're not feeling it sometimes.
Thanks Ry, I feel a bit battered around the head mostly...Thanks 2020. We'll get through though, and the sun will shine once more. It just seems like everything is conspiring against us at the moment.
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Sad news about Merlin and also your farther not doing well. I am thinking of you both at this time. And when things end for him in this life he goes on to new adventures.
It's all pretty shit really, but it's all a part of life's journey I suppose. Thanks for your thoughts, it is much appreciated.
Hello dear friend @galenkp good afternoon
What beautiful memories you have of your childhood and the company of your father, you have described them so well that I got the idea of seeing with your father when you learned to ride a bicycle, or how he painted his beautiful works.
When a loved one leaves us it is always painful, but it is to remember that only the body leaves us, since the spirit is always present among us.
Death is also part of life, it is something we cannot avoid, the best we can do is live and enjoy as much as we can, you have done very well, you have treasured beautiful memories of your father, who will accompany you for the rest of your life.
Thanks mate, I appreciate your comments.
I really think that you need to maybe take a break here mate.
We can all cover for you at this time.
But maybe no, might be better for you to stay here as it will keep you occupied.
You were blessed to have a great father and I admire the way that you have stood by him.
May it be that he can go peacefully in his sleep, so that he can be released from the pain and suffering of this world that he doesn't know anymore.
Your dad is in our prayers.
We are here for you at this time!
My dad passed away last night at 11:30. He is in a better place and has no more pain or worries.
Life has to go on, I am working today, tomorrow and so on. I can't shut down. There will time for a little bit of that later, the funeral, but it is my intention to celebrate dad's life. He had a pretty good one by his standards and it would be disrespectful to do anything but celebrate it. He will live on in his children and moving forward his grandchildren who will know his quality as a human and parent.
Thanks for your kind words.
The finality is always so shocking.
Thank you for notifying me and he went covered in prayers.
You are right as it will be a mistake to shut down. Stay busy and you know that life always works itself out.
Your dad has completed his life and passed the baton on to you now as the eldest.
No more worries or burdens on his behalf, as he has now given you the freedom to get your own life in order and to keep an eye on the family.
Remember that he loves you and he is keeping an eye on you.
Our sincerest condolences to you, Faith, Taraz and the family!
Thank you for your really nice words and I am thankful your prays which helped send dad on to his next adventure. It has been a difficult day, work in between arranging things and picking up my sister from the airport. Each day will get better though.
Thanks for your message. It is greatly appreciated.
I think that it will be difficult for others to travel to Aus due to the covid thing and also distances.
At this time, just take things as they come and do what you have to do. You are right, as every day things will indeed get better.
Just in general, stay positive, even if you are crying inside, as you have to be strong for others.
Continue to talk to us here in order to get the emotions healed and whatever you do, don't clam up.
I buried both of my parents and my younger sister and also others close to me, the mistake I made was to keep all of the hurt inside myself. It took me many years to heal.
I am writing this directly from my heart in true compassion for you guys and all of the family. Marian also sends her condolences.
Thank you sir, for your kind words and wisdom.
It has been nice the way the Community has reacted; I almost didn't post about it, but felt that it may provide me a bit of a release, which it has. I will also still be doing my #weekend-engagement post on Friday as usual. It will provide me a place to retreat to when things get heavy here.
Thanks again for your message.
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there; I did not die.
Thomas Bailey Aldrich, American editor, 1836-1977
In order to quickly take away that uneasy fear in me I write. I write my heart's out. I don't care I I'm making sense.
For those that grew up with a father and enjoyed fatherly love, it sticks them like a lightening bolt whenever he passes away.
It's all going to be fine. He's in a better place watching over you and your family now. Making sure you're all alright.
He's happy and wants you too.
Please accept my deepest condolences. I can't offer much but the little I have I give to console you.
❤️❤️❤️
Becky
Thanks Beckie, I really appreciate your thoughts and sentiment.
You're welcome.
Thank you very much too for your response.
You have continued support from the members of the community, some of which are your personal friends.
❤️❤️❤️
Becky
I will continue to support people too...Look out for the #weekend-engagement topic later today. :)
Watching out for it with my 👀👀👀👀👀 open.
Thank you very much.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Becky.
It's posted now. Enjoy.
84 is good innings, as they say, and Alzheimer's is very difficult. None of these facts truly make things easier. He sounds like someone worth carrying with you. How lucky you are, to have his legacy of stories, art, enthusiasm and love to carry in your own life, and Taraz too. Much love to you and your family as you move into life without him breathing here with you.
Thanks Riv, you're right. He was happy with his life and he believed the next place would be better. He is with my mum now and we will remember them both fondly. It's sometimes odd to think I'm parentless, but they live within me.
It takes courage to write about such a difficult time. Even if you witnessed dementia diminishing your dad's life, little by little, nobody is fully prepared to experience the loss of a loved one. Hope writing about it is cathartic and will help you to accept the situation.
Thank you for your kind words and sentiment. Yes, even when the end is expected it still comes as a shock. It is something we will all experience at some point or another, and one most will never get used to.